Being at BlogHer all weekend was a huge relief because it brought my normal monthly crazy down to a dull roar.
I got home late on Sunday and bright and early Tuesday morning I had to drive Peyton into ATL for her finger poke.
But apparently all it takes for me to approach that monthly trip with some semblance of calm is to be borderline comatose from exhaustion and to TOTALLY FORGET about it.
And you know what? That’s awesome!
Because, the day you can forget about your kid’s checkup to make sure she doesn’t have cancer in her body is a good day. It means you’re at least starting to start the start of letting go of a tiny piecce of it.
We breezed in and I answered all the questions with confidence.
No pain, she’s felt great.
No bruising, just the normal stuff that comes from being five years old with her mother’s incredible gift of grace.
Good appetite? Check.
Good energy? Check.
No headaches? Check.
Counts? Kneel on the floor and weep kind of good.
JUST that good.
And yeah, we go throught this every month.
I’m sure some people roll their eyes and think “Get over it! She’s in remission, just let it be. Why can’t you let go of it?”
For those folks? You can bite me!
Every month I walk in that office knowing that one tiny number could change our lives forever…knowing that one too many bruises is a sign….knowing that a nap could possibly not JUST BE a nap.
So, if I’m excited because this month didn’t bring cold sweats and nightmares? I get to be. I get to be just as happy about the fact that I didn’t make myself crazy as I am that she was given the All-Good.
It means we’re both healing and both getting better every day.