Thoughts from the airport

*SIGH*  I wrote this the morning I left for BlogHer, but apparently the wi-fi connection was so lousy in the hotel, it never actually posted. Tech hotel FAIL! So better late than never, right?

I’m writing this from the Atlanta airport…drinking a cup of mediocre coffee, a man who needs to rethink his commitment to deodorant on my left and the poor frazzled mother of five youngsters playing wrangler on my right.  Did I mention that the Jonas Brothers are booming from the TV?  Stellar!

I have found the ninth level of hell.

The level directly after being taunted onto a trampoline and realizing mid-jump you HAVE to pee.

However, I can’t even be bothered by it.  I just keep drinking my crappy coffee and smiling at the thoughts of what’s to come.

This trip is so many things.

It’s an opportunity for fun, yet very much a business trip and every stop between those two.

It’s also another big scissor step into a life that isn’t weighed down by cancer.

I took the first trip without my kids in February and felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack the entire first twenty-four hours.

Yet, last night I was able to kiss and smoosh and goodbye each of my children with less guilt than expected and more confidence that this trip was a good thing for me to do.

Partly because I know that they WILL survive without me, and as hard as it is to believe, I can survive without them. In fact, I am a BETTER mom when I’ve had the chance to miss them.

I’ll get home and just burst into sparkly fountains of joy at the sight of their familiar faces.  I’ll think they may have actually managed to grow in five days time. I will soak in the sounds of their voices and be overwhelmed with motherlove so intense it makes my teeth hurt.  I will wonder how I ever managed to breathe so far from them.

And then one of them will do something completely jackass and I will sigh and get back to the business of being their mom.

But for those SIX minutes it’ll be utter BLISS!

Don’t forget to check out the new posts over at Aiming Low!