I can be beautiful for my daughter

I need to learn to love my body.

I’ve had this body for thirty-five years and it’s never fully made me happy.

The shoulders are too broad.

The hips are too narrow.

The belly is too squishy.

The feet are too wide.

The legs are too short.

The chins are too many.

And I have this child.

She’s eight.

She is everything smart and funny and bright and exhilarating in the world.

She has the eight year old version of this same body.


I need to stop telling her that she’s NOT.

I need to stop telling her she’s not glorious by constantly mentioning how I need to lose weight..which I do, but she doesn’t need to hear about it.

I need to stop telling her she’s not glorious by picking at my muffin top.

I need to stop telling her she’s not glorious by wincing at the ole’ bingo flaps.

I need to stop telling her she’s not glorious by bitching about how the pants aren’t too long, my legs are just too stumpy.

I need to stop telling her she’s not glorious by telling her I hate pictures of myself…when everyone tells her we look so much alike.

I need to learn to love this body.

Because she shows me how beautiful we are, every day.


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31 Responses to I can be beautiful for my daughter

  1. Maura June 5, 2010 at 5:39 AM #

    It’s a terrifically difficult thing for so many of us to feel that we’re beautiful. Or maybe not beautiful, but even attractive. And unfortunately, so much of it does relate directly to how our mothers look/looked at themselves, which directly relates to how society as a whole looks at us. The fact that you’re aware of this and are striving to make changes is so wonderful and I applaud you wholeheartedly.

  2. Al_Pal June 5, 2010 at 5:22 AM #

    Ohhh, what a great post. @FeistyKel linked it.

    You are both gorgeous. What a lovely photo. Best Wishes for joyful acceptance.

    (I’m grateful for my broad shoulders! They help carry my weight better!)
    .-= Al_Pal´s last blog ..Sensitivity: I have it. =-.

  3. Marissa November 19, 2009 at 3:21 PM #

    You are beautiful and I hope you recover very soon. My heart goes out for your family, and I'm sending lots of healing thoughts and prayers.

  4. Tricia November 19, 2009 at 2:14 PM #

    That is beautiful!

  5. Janna November 12, 2009 at 2:37 AM #

    This post made me cry.

    You see, my mom didn't love her body (still doesn't) and she has been on a diet for most of my 39 years. But it's not about me. It's about my anorexic sister. My naturally big boned, large footed, 5'6" sister that weighs less than a hundred pounds (unnaturally).

    Please love yourself as you are!

  6. mommabird2345 November 7, 2009 at 1:15 AM #

    You both are beautiful.
    What a sweet & beautiful post. :)

  7. Peaches November 7, 2009 at 1:15 AM #

    I am teary-eyed. It's so poignant. i have often had these same thoughts for the sake of my own two mini-me's.

  8. Maria November 7, 2009 at 12:35 AM #

    This is gorgeous. You are gorgeous.

  9. Overflowing Brain November 6, 2009 at 11:54 PM #

    Sweet and very true. Someday (some far far far far off day) when I have kids, I'm going to have to re-read this and remember.

    Gorgeous, both of you.

  10. Liz November 6, 2009 at 11:53 PM #

    Such a good reminder for all of us women and moms. Thank you.

  11. maggie, dammit November 6, 2009 at 9:30 PM #

    Yes, yes, yes, my beautiful, beautiful friend.

  12. DExtraordinaire November 6, 2009 at 8:20 PM #

    I had the same realization not long ago about The Chicken and I. Struggling hard to be in more photos and not delete them.

    such a beautiful photo of you two!

  13. Mandi Bone November 6, 2009 at 7:21 PM #

    You both are very beautiful!

  14. AmazingGreis November 6, 2009 at 6:47 PM #

    You are both BEAUTIFUL!!! Lovely post and yes, please tell her she is GLORIOUS!!!


  15. The Pony Lady November 6, 2009 at 6:31 PM #

    Always remember that under that comfortable cushion that YOU.ARE.RIPPED! And who the heck wants to be married to a bony person? All those angles jabbing at you in the bed. Give me something I can grab a hold of and hang on tight to. I worked hard for my bingo wings and muffin top. In fact I'm loving my chocolate Steak 'n Shake RIGHT NOW!!!!! We are ALL gorgeous.

  16. @sweetbabboo November 6, 2009 at 6:31 PM #

    Beautifully stated. I don't have a daughter (for now) but for the sake of all girls, we all need to start liking the way we look despite lacking in movie star qualities. If they see an average woman feeling proud and beautiful, it will offer an alternative to the idea that only models/celebrities are beautiful.

    I need to work on it too. Good luck.


  17. Issa November 6, 2009 at 6:23 PM #

    Beautiful post Anissa.

  18. Molly November 6, 2009 at 6:13 PM #

    Anissa you are a hottie! and yeah, I try to do that for my sister.

  19. The Lassie November 6, 2009 at 4:53 PM #

    Precisely. I was thinking along the same lines when I read your reply to my comment about your hair. You are so beautiful, so shut up ;)

  20. Melissa November 6, 2009 at 4:21 PM #

    You are both GORGEOUS.

  21. Jodyms November 6, 2009 at 3:52 PM #

    Beautiful, both of you, with wonderful recommendations for all of us who hate our legs.

  22. Grumble Girl November 6, 2009 at 3:43 PM #

    Yes – stop that immediately. Your child is radiantly beautiful, and she looks JUST like her mama… I adore you, lady. Be kind to yourself. Promise. xox

  23. @claritychaos November 6, 2009 at 3:38 PM #

    This is gorgeous.You go, Mama.

    I try to be careful in front of my sons with this stuff because I know it will shape their view of women and how women are supposed to look. I think of it more when I'm putting on makeup (Mama, why do you put that on?)

    And? To quote my husband regarding muffin tops? It's the best part of the muffin, Baby. ;)

  24. Andrea November 6, 2009 at 3:19 PM #

    Such a wonderful reminder of how children change everything. Good for you!

  25. Maya November 6, 2009 at 3:19 PM #

    Beautiful. Just beautiful. I need to do the same.

  26. Velma November 6, 2009 at 3:18 PM #

    Exactly. MWAH!

  27. Sandy November 6, 2009 at 3:16 PM #

    Thanks for a great blog post. I have and always have had issues with my body, and I'm so afraid to be a negative influence to my kids. Good luck and all the power to you! You and your daughter are both beautiful!

  28. Eliz November 6, 2009 at 3:14 PM #

    That child is simply gorgeous. And you do look so much alike. Ergo …


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