you know how you feel when you’re happy? yeah, we’re trying to make more of that.

Doing the job of five, always multi-tasking, trying to find ways to be better.

A better mom…a better wife…a better blogger…a better worker…a better boss…a better do-er…an overall better person.

i tried so hard.

i really thought there was a brass ring to attain.

I thought I was so damn close.

Would there have ever been enough?


Probably not.

I guess the stroke really changed things,  There can be ne “better” now.  I have to be happy with what I am now.

And I’m learning that happy can’t always be competitive.  Some things just happen.

My brand of happy has laughter written all over

Happy sometimes does less.

It learns to say no.

It sits with the kids and watches clouds when there are emails.  They’re awesome.

So, take some time to stop when you think you can’t….it’s probably when you need your happy most.

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47 Responses to you know how you feel when you’re happy? yeah, we’re trying to make more of that.

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  2. Atasha Meyer April 20, 2010 at 10:31 PM #

    I really need to remember this. Too many times I have put my family aside when I have work to do. Work that honestly can wait. I’m so guilty of blowing the kids off to do something business related when I should have taken them to the park, or just sit and talk to them. I have to change this. It’s not good.

    I am coming out of lurking today. I’ve been following since I’ve learned of your last stoke and have been praying so hard for you to pull through and for your family.
    Reading your recents posts have made me so happy. You’re one amazing person

    Take Care.

  3. Chris April 20, 2010 at 7:55 PM #

    I’ve been lurking since I first read about your stroke, hoping and praying for you and I read your post today and I thought to myself, “wow, I SO need to learn that happy thing.” See, I’ve been battling my own disability for nearly 20 years–since I was a teenager, and I still haven’t figured out how to give up the competiveness or take the time for happy or any of the things you mentioned and I read that and I think to myself I really need to learn this lesson. I’m bookmarking it and hitting myself over the head with it repeatedly. Thank you Anissa. You are amazing and I’m in awe.

  4. Meg April 19, 2010 at 11:24 PM #

    I really needed to read these words today. I’ve been putting my family off so much to get work/school done. I need to learn to chill out and spend time with those I love.

    I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come. Thanks for the encouraging words!
    .-= Meg´s last blog ..Ruff — The Way Your Mother Likes it, Trebeck =-.

  5. Bernadette Smith April 18, 2010 at 5:40 PM #

    Oh, Anissa! Thank you so much for this post. I needed this today.

  6. Donna Patterson April 18, 2010 at 3:45 PM #

    Praying for you to have more and more and more happy days!!!

  7. ruth April 18, 2010 at 2:00 PM #

    wise words anissa. i think you’re awesome.

  8. Jess April 18, 2010 at 12:55 PM #

    Talking with a new friend about this very thing just yesterday afternoon (granted, over some tasty tequila-infused cocktails), I have been struggling with the striving to be better thing and how miserable it has been making me. I *may* have ripped a shirt right off of my body during an out-of-body meltdown from the pressure of it all. Sadly, for Husfriend, I had both a bra and undershirt on, but mortifying myself more than anything. Have I really let the pressure get me this down? Apparently, yes. You’re inspiring in the least cornball sort of way because I know you’re just a bitchass like the rest of us. :)

  9. Dawn Tucker April 18, 2010 at 6:10 AM #

    I’m glad you found your happy with the kids today. Hope you find it tomorrow as well. And thanks for the reminder – I will definitely find mine too. Even if we (in England) are sitting under however many tons of volcanic ash from Iceland at the moment! No matter, the sun’s out, the sky is blue(ish), the birds are all singing and I can’t hear a single plane flying overhead!! There had to be a silver lining!

  10. Kelley April 18, 2010 at 3:41 AM #


  11. mommabird2345 April 18, 2010 at 2:40 AM #

    You are so right!! I needed the reminder to be happier in the small stuff. THANKS!!

  12. emma April 17, 2010 at 11:10 PM #

    So what, exactly, did you see in those clouds, hmmm? Some nekkedness, no doubt.

    Thanks for the reminder. It never seems to be one that stays in my brain very long, no matter how often I hear it.
    .-= emma´s last blog ..Blooming Mondays: April 12, 2010 =-.

  13. Sarah April 17, 2010 at 4:56 PM #

    Thank you, Anissa! This was beautiful, and a wonderful reminder that we never even know what “having it all” would be, or whether we can sustain it when we *think* we’re there. Maybe we always have it all, if we just look around us…? I’m REALLY bad at looking at things that way, but this post helped!
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..gratitude instead =-.

  14. Headless Mom April 17, 2010 at 2:39 PM #

    You are so amazing, Anissa. I hope you know that there are many of us out here that are finding so much inspiration in your story. Peter, too. He’s a rockin’ husband; you’re a lucky gal.

    Keep taking those happy moments and kicking OUR asses with them. Love you!
    .-= Headless Mom´s last blog ..I hate these posts, too. =-.

  15. Bridget April 17, 2010 at 10:00 AM #

    I’m with Jim.
    .-= Bridget´s last blog ..Fairy Tales Do Come True =-.

  16. StudentofLife April 17, 2010 at 9:46 AM #

    This little box here has sucked so many of us in. There have been so many wonderful things to come of connecting the wide, wide world, but sometimes, it disconnects us from the beauty and love right in front of our faces. Thanks for reminding me to get out of this box today and share some smiles and hugs with the people I love most.

    (BTW, I’m related by marriage to your friend Natalie W. She’s a super mommy.)
    .-= StudentofLife´s last blog ..The Void and the Avoidance =-.

  17. Lisa April 17, 2010 at 8:55 AM #

    That is an important piece of advise we all need to remember to follow. I think it is easy to forget that the only important thing is being with those we love and being happy. Thank you for the reminder to stop and smell the roses.
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..We’re Going on a Picnic =-.

  18. kristenkj April 17, 2010 at 7:42 AM #

    Yep…great thoughts. Happiness is my goal. It is figuring out how to get the happy that is the hard part.

    Time is the problem, and time is of the essence. I went to bed the other night and made a flippant comment about how we could kiss another day goodbye. And I realized at that exact moment that I would never have that day again. It was strangely sad, as though I had lost a chance that I would never have again. And truly, I had.

    Today I will live, and today I will be happy. Your words inspire, girl!
    .-= kristenkj´s last blog ..5 dB =-.

  19. Jenny April 17, 2010 at 12:26 AM #

    yaeh, sometimes i feel comfortable to stop for a while, but after that just start again…with new idea and new breath..
    thanks anissa!
    .-= Jenny´s last blog ..Data stolen from 628000 Virginians recovered, Minn. agency says =-.

  20. annie April 17, 2010 at 12:24 AM #

    Most beautiful advice. Thank you.

  21. ilinap April 16, 2010 at 11:51 PM #

    This was the most timely post ever. I needed this poignancy tonight.

  22. IzzyMom April 16, 2010 at 11:27 PM #

    So, take some time to stop when you think you can’t….it’s probably when you need your happy most.

    Funny you should mention that…

    I think your next gig should be as a philosopher or some other thing where you remind people to get their priorities straight. So many of the things we think matter…just don’t.

    Did you know in Denmark they don’t measure the Gross Domestic Product to determine the countries overall well-being? No. They use a happiness scale.

    I really wanna move there.
    .-= IzzyMom´s last blog ..If You’re Going to BlogHer, You Should Read This =-.

  23. Lesley April 16, 2010 at 11:15 PM #

    YOU are a gift. Thank you for reminding me what matters. My kiddo is a stroke baby who is doing fine now. But I need this reminder to chill the hell out and not sweat the small crap. Thanks!
    .-= Lesley´s last blog ..If you found me here from a comment…. =-.

  24. Barbara April 16, 2010 at 11:13 PM #

    Okay so now I’m on Pete’s BlogHer ad link rotation. Tell Pete I said hi. Came over here to say welcome back to you. Welcome back, Anissa!

  25. Fate's Mistress April 16, 2010 at 11:09 PM #

    So very true and too often we forget this. While it sucks it takes drastic measures to get us to slow down sometimes, you are blessed to have found this way of thinking again. Much love!
    .-= Fate’s Mistress´s last blog ..I had a miraculous egg to show you…and then my cat stole it. =-.

  26. designHER Momma April 16, 2010 at 10:42 PM #

    done. Happy is the goal. You’ve achieved it. love you. xoxox
    .-= designHER Momma´s last blog ..Bye Bye Soggy Bottom Birdie =-.

  27. Melisa with one S April 16, 2010 at 10:20 PM #

    You are SO right. xoxo
    .-= Melisa with one S´s last blog ..It’s Not What You Know; It’s Who You Know! =-.

    • Dhruv November 25, 2012 at 12:40 AM #

      IMDB contains the worst forum on the ineenrtt and its score system is remarkably unreliable, because of others’ personal opinions but it’s kind of a guide. Just kind of. I disagree entirely re its top 250 but now that’s my personal preference.Nicholson is an amazing actor. Cuckoo’s nest, Five Easy Pieces, Chinatown you name it. And, yes, even Missouri Breaks.

  28. janice April 16, 2010 at 10:15 PM #

    –and you know what? All those things you were DOING and trying to do BETTER or FASTER weren’t the really important things anyway. What IS important is
    1) showing your kids how much you love them (which you obviously did before and are still doing),
    2) expressing appreciation to those who help and support you (obviously you’re doing that now and probably were doing before, too),
    3) teaching your kids through your own behavior what’s valuable and important in life (you’re doing that now much more and much more powerfully than you did before), and
    4) finding reasons to keep on keeping on (of necessity, you’re doing that more and better than you did before).

    I’m not saying you have nothing to mourn or feel sad about; I’m just saying you should remember, too, all the important things you CAN do and ARE STILL DOING VERY WELL. I’m pretty sure that those are the things that we all admire you for (including me who’s never met you).

    Hang in, girl, and keep remembering that love is all around us, if only we notice it.

  29. Traci April 16, 2010 at 10:06 PM #

    Your so right Niss, you know all these busy days I spend working are filled with no memories at all. The important part of life is when I am spending time with my kids or friends and we are laughing.
    Reminds me of the Sheryl Crow lyric: It’s not having what you want It’s wanting what you’ve got….
    Rock on Sister! <3

  30. Lauren Hale April 16, 2010 at 10:03 PM #

    Anissa -

    I so needed to read this after the week I had with my kids. Thank you.

    .-= Lauren Hale´s last blog ..Friday Soother: 04.16.10 =-.

  31. Jen Knox April 16, 2010 at 10:02 PM #

    Sometimes I need a reminder like this…thanks so much for reminding me of what’s important….and email isn’t! ;) Wonderfully said!
    .-= Jen Knox´s last blog ..Are you “retweet-worthy”? =-.

  32. Susan @WhyMommy April 16, 2010 at 10:01 PM #

    True, true!

    The things we learn, eh?

    Best to you, Anissa — you sound GREAT!
    .-= Susan @WhyMommy´s last blog ..The Path Report =-.

  33. robin plemmons April 16, 2010 at 10:01 PM #

    why you gotta go & make me cry? you always do that. gah.

    xoxo anissa mayhew

  34. hip_m0m April 16, 2010 at 10:01 PM #

    Very poetic. Thank you for sharing this. We could all use a bit more happy, that’s for sure, and to try to create it for others – equally important.

    Love you.
    .-= hip_m0m´s last blog ..Psychic Shauna =-.

  35. Jennifer April 16, 2010 at 9:54 PM #

    Well said! Goodness knows everyone can use a little more happy these days! Hope you are well. <3
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Hotel-ing it. =-.

  36. Miss Grace April 16, 2010 at 9:50 PM #

    Love you dear heart.
    .-= Miss Grace´s last blog ..Unstrung Together =-.

  37. Angella April 16, 2010 at 9:49 PM #

    Beautifully said, Anissa. I needed this today. xo
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..In The News =-.

  38. Crista April 16, 2010 at 9:48 PM #

    I sooo needed that! Thank you, for reminding us all what matters most :)

  39. Amanda April 16, 2010 at 9:37 PM #

    Thanks for the reminder!
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Perfect Moment Monday =-.

  40. Melissa Kellas April 16, 2010 at 9:33 PM #

    So true…thanks for the reminder!!

  41. Ann Marie April 16, 2010 at 9:16 PM #

    Wise words to live by. Thank you!

  42. Chibi Jeebs April 16, 2010 at 9:15 PM #

    “And I’m learning that happy can’t always be competitive. Some things just happen.”

    Oof. Also?

    “So, take some time to stop when you think you can’t….it’s probably when you need your happy most.”

    Dude. You’re all making me THINK and stuff! Thank you, though, seriously: I needed to read this tonight. <3
    .-= Chibi Jeebs´s last blog ..Doctor Asshat =-.

  43. Bejewell April 16, 2010 at 9:04 PM #

    I do this! I do this! The very best parts of my life have been those that happened when I was supposed to be doing something else. SO glad you’re enjoying those moments now, too. LOTS OF LOVE!
    .-= Bejewell´s last blog ..Jesus Wouldn’t Know What To Do With a Hot Glue Gun, Anyway =-.

  44. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] April 16, 2010 at 9:01 PM #

    Happy is my only attainable goal.

    That and finding the perfect cupcake.

  45. BusyDad April 16, 2010 at 9:01 PM #

    One request: can you start a cult or something? I’m in.

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