i sometimes get excited by silly things like unicorns and tax returns

Every day is something new.  A reason to be excited.

Whether I’m able to move my leg a little more, or see some progress in my face…there is always something.

And a part of me is worried.  About the friends that will see me like this for the first time this summer.  The ones that have seen me laughing and joking, so sharp and witty, and now they will see me so changed.

I’m worried people will be disappointed.  They won’t get that even though I’m different, I’m still the same.

They don’t understand how I can get so excited because my fingers are moving the tiniest bits.  It’s different now.

But, I can be excited.

I really can.

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33 Responses to i sometimes get excited by silly things like unicorns and tax returns

  1. Mary @ Holy Mackerel May 22, 2010 at 11:25 AM #

    And you should be so very excited, because it IS exciting.

    And those who just don’t understand that you are still you are either not looking closely enough, or perhaps don’t want to.
    .-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Today’s post is full of frustration. Enjoy! =-.

  2. Leslie/PenguinPapers May 12, 2010 at 10:02 PM #

    Girl, there are so many people that are just going to be lighting NYC with the happiness of seeing you and hearing you; no one will be disappointed.

    You.Will.Rock. I swear it.
    .-= Leslie/PenguinPapers´s last blog ..Wait, where am I? =-.

  3. Dawn Tucker May 12, 2010 at 7:30 PM #

    Oh Anissa, if only you knew how many of us would love to meet you, give you a hug and rub boobs with you etc. Actually I think yours would knock me out but I’d puff out my chest and try and hold my own (well you know what I mean!). It would be great to share some of the exciting little triumphs you have each day and anyone who doesn’t want to isn’t worth bothering about. My guess is you’ll be surrounded by friends and exhausted at the end of each day, so pace yourself but get ready to have some premium happy times.

    PS. Sorry I haven’t been in touch for a while. Horrible computer probs, but hopefully all sorted now.

  4. Nancy May 12, 2010 at 12:10 PM #

    Don’t worry. Your immobility will just make it harder for you to run away from me. It all works out in the end. ;)

  5. mel May 12, 2010 at 11:48 AM #

    You are amazing! how could anyone ever be disappointed?
    .-= mel´s last blog ..Around Town =-.

  6. Desera May 12, 2010 at 10:29 AM #

    Really? how could anyone be disappointed???? You are the most amazing woman I’ve ever “met” I wish I could come meet you when you are in NY, but I’m sure there are many who will be keeping you company and marveling at your awesomeness! I am so glad that you are excited about the tiny things….I am excited and so very thankful every time I see that you have written something. Soooo glad you’re here!

  7. ladybughugs May 11, 2010 at 7:48 PM #

    There will be folks that will meet you for the first time, know your story, and be in awe of your strength, tenacity, and will. The people that matter won’t care, the people that don’t care don’t matter. I’m only a short drive into NYC…I’ll come deck anyone that makes you feel less than the champion you are.

    I wasn’t planning on going to BlogHer, but maybe now I will… just so I can shake your hand and kiss your cheeks.
    .-= ladybughugs´s last blog ..Hiatus =-.

  8. Andi May 11, 2010 at 5:37 PM #

    I found you right before your stroke and I have been following ever since. You are so strong and resilient and funny and amazing, anyone who doesn’t see that isn’t looking. I am so happy to “know” you and would love to meet you in person someday.
    .-= Andi´s last blog ..The Best Part of Waking Up =-.

  9. IzzyMom May 11, 2010 at 5:33 PM #

    You ARE the same…all anyone has to do is read your posts and tweets to see that. I know everyone will be incredibly excited to see you.
    .-= IzzyMom´s last blog ..Gawd Mom, That’s SO Dumb =-.

  10. Cecily May 11, 2010 at 5:29 PM #

    I just want to see you. That is all.

  11. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 11, 2010 at 3:55 PM #

    I have to tell you, when I saw you in March, I knew you’d come leaps and bounds above where you’d been. Yes, it was a bit strange seeing you nearly immobile, but you’re all there. In your head, you’re all Anissa. With every new movement and every bigger step, you’re better.

    I love you, ya hooker.
    .-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..Like a ninja. =-.

  12. Jessica May 11, 2010 at 3:34 PM #

    don’t underestimate your friends – they don’t underestimate you.

    Your problem with the people who have loved you for a long time and the people who have only recently fallen in love with you (like me for instance) is that we just simply adore you and want you to be happy and would do just about anything to help you be ok with you.

    Here’s to wiggling fingers and legs that move and a woman who blogs one handed!

  13. Ashley May 11, 2010 at 3:07 PM #

    That is totally supposed to say “a far” rather than affair. Obviously I’ve had my fill of slutty soaps for today. ;)
    .-= Ashley´s last blog ..Palm Pilot Pixi a Mother’s Best Friend? =-.

  14. Ashley May 11, 2010 at 3:06 PM #

    Anissa,

    I’ve watched from affair for quite some time now. I blog, too, but I guess I am what you consider a lurker when it comes to reading. I read you before your stroke, and I read your husband’s concern for you afterward. I haven’t been online much since, but I was so excited when I realized that it was actually YOU posting when I saw you on twitter.

    Even though I’m not what you call a friend, I am a fan. I am so proud of your amazing accomplishments, and I would consider it a privilege to be able to meet you anytime! (before, after, during.. whatev) I think you are an amazing woman, and a wonderful mother, and I admire your strength and humor in the face of adversity. You are everything I hope to become. Strong, intelligent, beautiful, talented, supermom, perfect wife. I can only hope to one day possess all of the qualities that I see in you.

    Keep on keepin’ on Mrs. Mayhew. You are truly a gift.

    Ashley (@theatomicmommy)
    .-= Ashley´s last blog ..Palm Pilot Pixi a Mother’s Best Friend? =-.

  15. thepeachy1 May 11, 2010 at 11:16 AM #

    Maybe you should have some sort of disclaimer like my lawyer makes people sign before they see me naked so they can’t sue me for eye damage. but yours could all be like ” warning the smexy beastie you are about to encounter is indeed the same hottie smexy beastie you have previously encountered. Please be patient while we remodel for your convenience.. ” you know what screw it, you were, are and always will be one of the best people I have ever known, in every dimension, and if someone doesn’t get it, they can pick a spot on my fat freckled ass to kiss. Totally their loss and more for me.

    • Lisa Greenaker May 11, 2010 at 2:14 PM #

      I totally agree with the “smexy” disclaimer claim! Count me in!

  16. DExtraordinaire May 11, 2010 at 11:08 AM #

    The awesomeness will shine through girlie. And we will love you just the same!

    xo
    .-= DExtraordinaire´s last blog ..Flashback Friday-The El Camino Edition =-.

  17. Headless Mom May 11, 2010 at 10:59 AM #

    You have every reason to celebrate ALL of the small things. Yay!
    .-= Headless Mom´s last blog ..155 =-.

  18. For Love or Funny May 11, 2010 at 10:41 AM #

    No doubt, folks who haven’t seen you in a while will be in awe of what you’ve gone through and what you’ve accomplished!
    .-= For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Plant these veggies and your kids will eat them – guaranteed! =-.

  19. tricia May 11, 2010 at 10:39 AM #

    Your friends will understand. Your aquaintances on the other hand, may not. Life goes on. And you can keep getting excited about the little things.
    .-= tricia´s last blog ..Encouragement =-.

  20. Angella May 11, 2010 at 10:31 AM #

    Does this mean you’ll be in New York? Because if so, I’m going to hug you SO HARD. :)
    .-= Angella´s last blog ..Born To Ride =-.

  21. kristie May 11, 2010 at 10:24 AM #

    I don’t know you, I’m not your friend, and until you got sick, I’d never read your blog. It wasn’t personal, it was just that I hadn’t ever been there. I started reading about you because Brittany (Barefoot Foodie) had posted her concerns that you were in the hospital. Then I read about you, I read your husband worrying every day about whether or not you’d make it through the night. Then through the week. Then whether you’d ever move again. Or speak. Or take a step.

    I follow now fascinated that you’ve come so far, even though I don’t know you and probably won’t. And whenever you post, I’m like ‘Fucking good for her!” because there was a time where many, many people didn’t think you’d ever BE again.

    My guess is anyone who sees you this summer, or ever, will think everything you do is a full-on miracle. I know you’re frustrated, and you have every right to be, but keep in mind, there are thousands of us who are just astonished at how far you’ve come, and who celebrate even the tiniest of your victories.

    In short, rock on!

  22. Christy May 11, 2010 at 10:06 AM #

    I’m just hoping I’m one of the people who gets to see you this summer! Your friends are simply thankful to still have you in our lives. Plus, now we may be able to actually keep up with you…
    .-= Christy´s last blog ..Wishes for Mother’s Day =-.

  23. Maria May 11, 2010 at 9:35 AM #

    Hi! I don’t know you but I’m sure your friends will be excited about it!

    I mean, I was thinking something similar the other night. My 9 month old was putting a block in his truck and then dumping it out and I was so excited! I thought it was the cutest, most wonderful thing he’s ever done. Then I thought that people probably wouldn’t feel the same way about it as I do.

    Point it: You’re making progress and people will cheer for you, even if it’s just a pinkie or toe that wiggles!

    Keep going!

  24. Traci May 11, 2010 at 9:34 AM #

    I’m excited just to know your excited! lol :D

  25. earth_mommy May 11, 2010 at 9:02 AM #

    I remember when my grandmother had a stroke when I was little. And every improvement was a finger to the doctors who said she was too old (in her 50s) to recover much and how we got so excited over each improvement. We loved her. Her face wasn’t the reason we loved her, and it’s not the reason so many love you. Anyone who is superficial enough that it will bother then, well just give them the finger *smoochies and hugs*

    Melinda

  26. AmazingGreis May 11, 2010 at 8:54 AM #

    Your friends…WE will love you just the same!!! XOXO
    .-= AmazingGreis´s last blog ..Happy Mother’s Day… =-.

  27. Colleen May 11, 2010 at 8:42 AM #

    Oh stop, your friends don’t give a rat’s ass about how you look. You are still you no matter what has happened. Seeing you will be their pleasure because the alternative would be to not to be able to see you, and THAT would piss them off.

  28. Kara Potterbaum May 11, 2010 at 8:30 AM #

    If people can’t see the person you are then are they really your friends? How many did we lose going through the kids cancer? The other side of that is…how many did we gain? The gain fully outweighed the loss.

  29. Courtney May 11, 2010 at 8:14 AM #

    You know, the things that people love about you are all still there. Your sense of humor. Your kindness. Your willingness to accept new people. Your boobs. Anyone who truly loves you will be able to see all of that.
    .-= Courtney´s last blog ..Music to make the week go by. =-.

  30. Mandi Bone May 11, 2010 at 7:56 AM #

    You are not going to be the same Anissa you were. They will notice and care even the tiny steps are huge. You are doing awesome!
    .-= Mandi Bone´s last blog ..A happy post =-.

  31. defendUSA May 11, 2010 at 7:41 AM #

    Yes. They will get that you are the same.
    I have a friend who was very thin when we met. We talked on the phone every day for 11 years. She ended up getting a divorce as her College Graduation approached. She wasn’t going to attend. I forced her into it. And I went. She told me she was afraid because she got fat…(Dummy!) The minute she opened her mouth when I saw her, there was nothing in the way…just a shape. And it didn’t mean she wasn’t who I knew her to be, she was…

  32. Sandy Jenney May 11, 2010 at 7:27 AM #

    Are you kidding me? Your writing shows you are the same inside….but different for the experiences you have endured. Anyone who gets to see you this summer will be thrilled that they are getting to see you! Knowing what you have come through.
    It’s all good. You will just be getting all kinds of love heaped on you.
    .-= Sandy Jenney´s last blog ..Summertime =-.

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