the one where i post a little about the difference between pretty and beautiful

Today I sent my child to school in a cheerleader uniform. It was tan and green and had forest green spanky pants. It wasn’t an outfit for school, most would think. It was a get-up only a kindergartner could love.

She felt beautiful.

In a few years she’ll be too old and “mature” to wear a cheerleader uniform to class. She won’t think of wearing spanky pants in public.  She’ll be all “Moooom, I can’t wear that. It’s old-fashion!!!”

She’ll still be beautiful.

That same girl will reach the age when the spanky pants are all she can dream about.  Pom poms and sneakers are her greatest desires. She hopes for cartwheels and basket tosses, she daydreams about the triangle of friends.

She will never know how beautiful she was.

Don’t forget to appreciate a single day of your beauty.  Your love, your laughter, your intelligence, your calm, your charity.  You might not feel gorgeous today but you always have your beauty close.

You may not know how fast all the pretty can be taken away, you’d better hope you have some beauty down in there to count on.

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31 Responses to the one where i post a little about the difference between pretty and beautiful

  1. Chris May 28, 2010 at 10:40 AM #

    Sorry this is a late comment – I was just getting caught up on posts. My daughter got her very first baton costume last night, for the upcoming Memorial Day parade. She put it on and was so excited (she’s 7). We had to go grocery shopping and she asked if she could wear it – I said absolutely! You can only get away with wearing a skirted, black and red sequined leotard to the grocery store for so long, right? Smiles and hugs to you, Anissa!

  2. Mary @ Holy Mackerel May 22, 2010 at 11:16 AM #

    Yet another poignant, beautiful post. Thank you.
    .-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Today’s post is full of frustration. Enjoy! =-.

  3. Grumble Girl May 21, 2010 at 9:08 AM #

    Word, sistah. So good. Thanks for the reminder.
    .-= Grumble Girl´s last blog ..My Littlest Little =-.

  4. Desera Johnson May 21, 2010 at 6:29 AM #

    How very true…and VERY well said! You continue to amaze….

  5. Dawn Tucker May 21, 2010 at 5:03 AM #

    You have SO much beauty deep down in you. Those girls are so lucky to have you as their Mommy. Hell, we’re all lucky to have you – you constantly remind me to stop and smell the roses. Although we will probably never meet, you are one of the beautiful roses brought to me through cyberspace….

  6. Lori May 21, 2010 at 4:22 AM #

    Oh my gosh, that is so beautiful!

  7. Nanna May 20, 2010 at 9:10 PM #


  8. emily May 20, 2010 at 9:00 PM #

    I am dreading the day that my gorgeous daughter thinks that she’s ugly…for now, she’s 8 and so comfortable in her own skin and with her own fashion sense that she doesn’t ask “am I pretty?”…rather, she states “Look how beautiful I look today!” and twirls around.

    I love this.

  9. ali May 20, 2010 at 8:58 PM #

    whatever. I totally posted today about Isabella wearing a cheerleading uniform and bright pink wig to the park. Only, as usual, you wrote it better. LOVE YOU.
    .-= ali´s last blog ..Perfectly Perfect Park Wear =-.

  10. Lisa May 20, 2010 at 8:53 PM #

    This made me cry. Beautiful, simply beautiful.
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..Making a Garden =-.

  11. Mishi May 20, 2010 at 8:39 PM #

    That’s a powerful message, my friend. <3
    .-= Mishi´s last blog ..Happy Birthday, Friend… =-.

  12. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] May 20, 2010 at 7:22 PM #

    dammit woman. you speaketh the truth.

    remember, just like Xtina said, you are beautiful, in every single way.
    .-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..Edna =-.

  13. thepeachy1 May 20, 2010 at 5:44 PM #

    You know whats awesome. The fact that daughters have a mom like you. The fact that maybe other mom’s will over look “costume” choices in their little ones. The fact you remind us all to find beautiful.. Vodka is also awesome, but I couldn’t think of how to fit it in this one… sorry vodka.

  14. Steph May 20, 2010 at 5:43 PM #

    OhmyGOD you make me cry.

    .-= Steph´s last blog ..Cloud shapes =-.

  15. Kristin May 20, 2010 at 5:25 PM #

    Anissa, you are fiercely strong and amazingly beautiful. This is a truly wonderful post.
    .-= Kristin´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday: Decayed Beauty =-.

  16. Jeanette May 20, 2010 at 4:56 PM #

    Very well said!

  17. Colleen May 20, 2010 at 3:57 PM #

    I sent my daughter to a T-ball game in a pink Tutu and black cowboy boots. What the heck, she felt pretty and fierce all at the same time. Her coaches loved it.

  18. Holly W May 20, 2010 at 3:23 PM #

    Anissa- Thank you for allowing your girls to express their own sense of beauty. They have a beautiful, strong mother leading the way for them.

  19. robin plemmons May 20, 2010 at 1:27 PM #

    Hell yes, Anissa Mayhew. These are things that everyone needs to hear & live. Thank you for the invaluable perspective.

  20. rachel May 20, 2010 at 1:14 PM #

    Love. Love. Love.

  21. Jenny Talia May 20, 2010 at 12:39 PM #

    As a mum of 2 girls – I love this
    So well said!


  22. tricia May 20, 2010 at 12:20 PM #

    Well said.
    .-= tricia´s last blog ..Just Chillin’ =-.

  23. Jennie May 20, 2010 at 11:48 AM #

    This writing will stay with me. Thank you for sharing your writing, your fight, your courage.

  24. BecZhang May 20, 2010 at 11:29 AM #

    I may or may not have tears in my eyes. Great message. Thanks for the reminder.
    .-= BecZhang´s last blog the cheese wagon made me become a lady of the night =-.

  25. melissa May 20, 2010 at 11:26 AM #

    I’m so glad you are back and writing. Beautiful post. I’m going to print it out and put it on my desk as a reminder.

  26. Bridget May 20, 2010 at 11:21 AM #

    My almost 4 year old went to school in her pjs today because the skirt part was sparkly and she loved it and she wanted to…and really? Going to school in clothes is totally over-rated anyway. Another mom had the audacity to say something to her about having on her pjs, and she said “My mama says do what makes you happy.” I need to practice what I preach: Do what makes you happy.
    .-= Bridget´s last blog ..Weekly Winners: We Smiled A Lot This Week =-.

  27. Rook May 20, 2010 at 10:37 AM #

    Beautiful, as always.
    .-= Rook´s last blog ..NSFW: Way to Suck That Dick! It’s a blog =-.

  28. Diane May 20, 2010 at 10:28 AM #

    Oh, Anissa. TEARS in my eyes. Which maybe only has a little bit to do with the PMS. But mostly it’s the post.
    .-= Diane´s last blog ..7 Quick Takes – Sisters =-.

  29. IzzyMom May 20, 2010 at 10:27 AM #

    It’s hard for young girls to internalize this but compassion, intelligence, kindness and a strong sense of self trump outer beauty every time. This is one message we can never stop trying to convey…
    .-= IzzyMom´s last blog ..Gawd Mom, That’s SO Dumb =-.

  30. Apryl's Antics May 20, 2010 at 10:26 AM #

    That last sentence is a t-shirt, a bumper sticker, a billboard to the world.

  31. Maria May 20, 2010 at 10:24 AM #

    I love this, Anissa.
    .-= Maria´s last blog ..Processing Things =-.

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