do people comment because they have things to say or they feel they have to?

There has been a strange sense of wondering if I should be telling this part of my story.

What’s healing for me and therapeutic in telling may not be what most want to read.  Granted, some understand and some get what is going on in my head.  But I wonder how many are really tired of what they think is whining everyday.

I write.  An obscene amount of people read.  A few comment.

And I love those comments.  They mean the world to me.

But i wonder what the silent readers are thinking.

Sometimes, I will get an email out of the blue.  They read something and they connected or it reminds them of someone they had in their life.

For a second I get to touch their world.

It’s been hard because communication isn’t the easiest thing I’ve learned to do.  I’ve had to get around the feeling that people are listening for me to make mistakes.  I can’t explain what it does to a person like me to have the gift of quick speech stolen.

So, since I can’t speak like I’d like to, I write.

But maybe I shouldn’t.  Maybe it isn’t the healing tool I thought it was.

It might be a way of whining to a group that feels obligated to listen.

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138 Responses to do people comment because they have things to say or they feel they have to?

  1. Samantha June 28, 2010 at 8:59 AM #

    Silent reader here also. I read because you could whine, you have every right to. You don’t and that’s what blows my mind. You and your family have been through so much, you have an amazing network for friends that love and support you. You as a strong and amazing person that has jumped some major mountains and yet you still can laugh?!? That’s why I read, because some day something extra crappy is going to happen to me or someone I love and I only hope to have half the strength you do.

  2. Suzie June 28, 2010 at 8:59 AM #

    I started reading when you had your stroke and suddenly everyone I saw on FB, Twitter and blogs (mommywantsvodka) was talking about Anissa. I had to click to find out who this person was that everyone was lifting up in prayer and talking about and thinking about and posting about. So I clicked. And cried. And Clicked. And Clicked some more. I read your past blog entries. I read about your baby girl. I clicked through you somewhere to the Spohr’s and read their blogs and started crying. AGAIN. I now follow you both in your adventures through life and healing. I know it bugs you to hear you’re an inspiration because Lord knows this isn’t why you want to be an inspiration. I imagine you had something much greater in mind for your life. I received an email this morning that choked me up pretty good. One of the excerpts from it was, “I did not do this for you. God is here working through me to give you hope.’ YOU are here, giving us hope.

  3. Amanda June 28, 2010 at 8:47 AM #

    If there is anything I can say with certainty, it’s that we live in a time when society has all but forsaken any sense of “needing to do” anything. People listen because you are worth listening to, you make life more for having spoken (or written.)
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Perspective =-.

  4. Ashley June 28, 2010 at 8:36 AM #

    I have been a “lurker” since before your stroke. I don’t think you whine at all. And even if you did, you deserve to whine a little. I think the recovery process is an important story to tell. As someone who has never been through anything like this, it really shows you what kind of struggle people go through all the time.

    Write on, sister. I have always loved how you tell it like it is. Don’t stop doing that now. That is what would change this blog. So keep it up. We all want to hear the real “how are you”. So bitch on!

  5. Kelly June 28, 2010 at 7:00 AM #

    Silent reader here. I read because I’m at work and I’m bored. And you write really well and I find your story inspiring and a lot of your posts make me think and some make me laugh.

    I don’t think you whine. At least not any more than you should be allowed to, given your current circumstances. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. You seem like a really tough and awesome woman.

  6. kristenkj June 28, 2010 at 5:23 AM #

    I haven’t felt “whining” when I come here. Maybe others have, but it doesn’t come across that way to me.

    There is a distinct phenomenon in the blog world…where there is trauma…tragedy…something unusual going on…there are readers. It is interesting. It is gripping. Right or wrong, people like to read about others’ struggles. We can learn from it. And we want to help. We feel compassion.

    The great thing about blogging is that when you lose interest, you can just stop reading, and no one really notices when you do. So those readers you still have, and those commenters you still have, they aren’t here to listen to you whine. They are here because they are interested in what you have to say. They like the sarcasm. They like the wit. They are rooting for you.

    They like you.
    .-= kristenkj´s last blog ..My Dad =-.

  7. Becki M. June 28, 2010 at 4:49 AM #

    I look forward to getting your updates every evening. I don’t consider a single one to have been whining, and even if they were, you are totally entitled to whine, we all are entitled to whine once in a while. I just want to tell you that even though I don’t comment on your posts, you are an inspiration to me! If you can do it, then there is no reason why I can’t do it.

    Love,
    Becki
    .-= Becki M.´s last blog ..Happy Fathers Day Daddy- =-.

  8. lori June 28, 2010 at 4:24 AM #

    I don’t think you are a whiner. I really appreciate you writing about the bad moments/days because it gives me important insight into the struggles that many people face. It helps me to be more compassionate towards others. I read and pray for your family because I want you to succeed. I found out about you when you first had your coma and want to see you recover! The struggles you are facing are expected and you have a true gift in the way you share them. I think your words and writing are beautiful. Sometimes I’m write there with you in your struggles. Keep writing!

  9. Colleen June 28, 2010 at 2:34 AM #

    I, too, am a lurking reader. I often don’t comment due to no time left after I’ve been reading on the computer but also because I don’t know what to say.

    I never find you to be a whiner. I am helped to view my own challenges in my life with a new light by reading your posts. I also reflect and remember a close friend of mine who had similar challenges to you (she was an MS sufferer) and I remember the wonderful times we had. Even tho it was a challenge to take her places, to do things that would have been eaiser done without the wheelchair and other stuff, I am so happy I was with her and it didn’t matter how much work it took to be with her. I miss her so much. I thought you should know that no matter what work it would be I’d rather have her here to be with than to have her gone. I’m certain that is what your family and friends feel too. You know, her amazing spirit and her wit and quick humour I see in your postings… that’s probably why I look forward to seeing if you have written anything I can read each day.

    Hugs,
    Colleen

  10. racheal June 28, 2010 at 2:29 AM #

    I don’t feel obligated to listen. I click on your site because I want to, I click on your site because it inspires me. You inspire me. What you call whining, I call strength.

    Sometimes, when life gets crazy and busy, and I don’t get a lot of ‘me’ time, you’re one of the rare sites that I will make time for. I started reading your site right after your stroke and it has been so beautiful to watch you come back to life and by now, you’re like an old friend I like to check up on. Lol, and now I sound like a stalker. Which is probably why I shouldn’t comment. :P Truth be told, I don’t always comment because I’m shy, and don’t always know what to say. That, and you’re much cooler than me so I like to admire from afar.

    So, no, I’m not judging. Or making silent remarks and waiting for you to make mistakes. I’m just encouraging, from afar, sending you good vibes and happy thoughts.

    :)
    .-= racheal´s last blog ..Sweet Ass Faith =-.

  11. Bec June 28, 2010 at 2:18 AM #

    I’m a silent reader. I have no idea how I found your blog but I did and I read your updates almost daily. You are so funny and witty and so incredibly brave (no choice I know – actually you did have a choice you chose to fight).

    I have never heard whining in your posts! I hear you battling, some days winning that battle and somedays having to fight that bit harder. I hear your laughter and I hear your frustration and I hear your saddnes but whinning – never.

    Bec (Sydney, Australia)

  12. mary June 28, 2010 at 2:03 AM #

    I have been a long time reader because you write so honestly. I don’t read what you have written as whining but as an honest assessment of what you are thinking about your life at the time you write it.
    As for commenting, I don’t blog so I had never thought of the perspective of the blogger wondering why so few comments or if folks felt obligated to comment. I only comment when I have something really specific to say, usually if the post is something i know about from a technical standpoint or have experienced myself — I worry about taking up the bloggers’ time otherwise.

  13. Lesley June 28, 2010 at 1:25 AM #

    okay, I’m one of those dorky lurkers (and very rare commenters)! I added you to my reader about 18 months ago and always loved reading anything you wrote. Just thought you were funny as hell. My heart sank when I read about your latest stroke and just am so happy that you are still writing words that make my day. (As a side note, my toddler is a stroke baby and my heart sinks every time I hear anyone suffering from a stroke, especially youngins like you and my kiddo!)

    I promise that I feel in no way obligated to read your blog. I’m just happy that you (and my other favorite bloggers) are generous enough to share with me. I never thought you were whining at all. But, of course, if you need to whine, you go for it. I thought that’s what the internets were for, right?

    keep being you and putting those words on the screen.
    .-= Lesley´s last blog ..Running Day 2 is Always the Worst =-.

  14. Nikki June 28, 2010 at 12:30 AM #

    I don’t usually comment, but I always read.

    I learned about you from the Bloggess when you had your stroke. I started slowly following your story in November.

    In the end of December/early January, I started reading all of your posts from the beginning, back at Hope4Peyton. Honestly, and I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time, you completely inspire me. The way you face each challenge with determination and faith really inspires me.

    I recently mentioned you in my own blog actually, about how I wish I could be as awesome as you at writing in my blog and have a bunch of followers and stuff. I’m here.. always reading… never commenting.
    .-= Nikki´s last blog ..I wish =-.

  15. Traci June 27, 2010 at 11:56 PM #

    I love that you write, then I know your there still persevering on… then I don’t have to worry or wonder how your doing because you tell us everyday <3 Good days and not so hot days you keep it real. Some things never change :)

  16. Sunny June 27, 2010 at 11:44 PM #

    I just like to read. I’ve been very slacking on writing these days. I think you’re smashingly awesome.
    .-= Sunny´s last blog ..A Brief Blurb About Bathtime =-.

  17. Danielle June 27, 2010 at 11:41 PM #

    I just read,I don’t comment… and you are amazing. I never get the feeling like you are whining…so I keep reading and praying for you to heal in the ways god has planned for you and for your family to continue being strong and there for you .

  18. Julie June 27, 2010 at 11:36 PM #

    I started reading when your friend Heather wrote about you on her blog. I read what your husband wrote, and you are truly blessed and deeply loved. I know you have a long road of recovery ahead of you, and like many others said I am praying for you. I think we all need an outlet, and if writing makes you feel better then write your heart out. We are here for you and will rejoice with you as you get stronger and stronger.

  19. Kymmi June 27, 2010 at 11:21 PM #

    I read a lot on the Internet. I read a lot of whining. I am a master at detecting the “woe is me”. You are nowhere near the “woe is me”. You, someone that I wouldn’t judge for it. What I love about reading your blog is … Well, a lot.

    I should come clean here. You have always intimidated me. I am one of those that read, that comments, but does not blog. I am the girl that listens to the popular girls discuss their weekends at school and is silent in the corner. I don’t harbor any negative feelings, I am not teased, I am just not known.

    While your famous sense of humor was sharp, what drew me to you was both your mama bear side, coupled with the way you wrote about your first stroke. You were someone that went through so much that I didn’t understand, and yet I understand why you sat at the table with a bowl of rice and buttons.

    Your second (and third, sadly) stroke shocked me. Your husbands (and friends) devotion moved me. When you began recovering, I was impressed with your honesty and with what you shared.

    I root for you. I want to be able to offer something in return, but I’m afraid I will remain the girl in the corner listening. I promise to do a better job of letting you know when I do.

  20. Amy June 27, 2010 at 11:03 PM #

    I have been an avid reader – sent by the Spohr fam. I read b/c your story is amazing. You write like I think. Love it!

    IMO, people comment b/c they have something to relate to. I’ve never walked in your shoes so I don’t comment. But, it doesn’t mean I don’t like to read about the journey!

  21. Melinda June 27, 2010 at 10:46 PM #

    Hi, I am a fairly new reader of your blog. I found you through a re-tweet on Twitter and decided to follow your blog. One of my worst habits in the world is being lazy, being lazy and not leaving comments when I really should.

    Your strength amazes me. If I don’t take the time to comment as much as I would like to, please know I am reading and rooting for you.

  22. Erin June 27, 2010 at 10:33 PM #

    I don’t know how much I could have to add (oh but I’m sure I’ll find a way to ramble on..)…since I seem to be the millionth reader coming out of the closet…but I just want you to know that I’m here, I’m reading and albeit silently, I’m rooting for you. I never think that you’re whining, especially in comparison to the vast majority of the population. You tell it like it is, and honestly…that’s so…refreshing.

    I found your blog in the out pour of love that came in the windfall of your stroke…I was a newly addicted aiming low reader…and when I heard about your stroke I searched you out…in all honesty, mostly because the power of the blogging community fascinates and intrigues me. When I started reading about your life and pouring through your archives I found this woman who was effing hilarious and full of the most random things and so full of LIFE that I couldn’t get enough..at the time I had a cold..some stupid, insignificant illness that wore me out and made me feel like crap..and I had blogged once or twice in the last couple of days whining about how I hated being sick..and then when I started reading your archives and then your husbands updates…it just jolted me awake and made me want to embrace life and the things that are important in it again. I wrote a post about your somewhere in the depths of my archives about how I couldn’t believe that I was whining and complaining when there are so many other people dealing with so much more than I am. I remember thinking…man…Anissa sounds hilarious and awesome..I want to be friends with her…I want her to get better NOW so that I can be friends with her..because she sounds like a bucket-o-awesome..and not too many people are buckets of awesome. Trust me, I’ve looked…some are a shovel full and even fewer are a sand pail….but very few are buckets. Sad fact of life, but it’s the truth.

    Okay – I’m rambling…story of my life. Long comment short…(or so I’ll pretend as I’ll probably keep on rambling) I love how real your posts are. I love that you’re not afraid to show that sometimes life sucks. I love that you love your kids and your husband so much. I love that it’s not perfect, but you’re still here and still fighting. I love that when I’ve had a shitty day and I’m feeling bummed about something you’ve posted something with that underlying bit of YOU that you’re rebuilding piece by piece that I love, that I’m inspired by, that makes me happy.

    I’m just a kid in the grand scheme of things…I’m not married, I don’t have kids, I’m too immature to have a mortgage because I spend my money on shoes and plane tickets…but still, I look up to you. I look forward to your posts in my google reader and wonder how you’re doing. I think about you and your family on a regular basis and wonder the most random things about your life. I find myself hoping that you have more good days than bad and more smiles than struggles…but I’m still here reading and virtually trying to give you a bear hug and your hand a comforting squeeze when you’re brave enough to write through those struggles. (Insert: Mushy Barf, I know.)

    I’m amazed in the best way possible that you’ve made your way back to the internet and all of the people who love you through thick and through thin…and I hope that these comments here show you how much people love you through everything…the good, the bad – the ugly and the beautiful.

    I’m just another person who doesn’t comment enough…who is sometimes afraid to say anything because what if she says is so insignificant that it’s just…stupid? Maybe we all need a little feedback in our lives though…so maybe I’ll be somewhat of a less in the closet commenter…as long as you’re up for reading long, rambling, slightly insane comments…I’m down with writing them :P

    Regardless of any of that though, I’m still here. Reading and re-reading every single word you write. I’m still rooting for you. Still loving your family. Still wishing for the best, silently hoping, part of this community of people that I don’t know, who love you and want only the very best for you. And I’ll be here indefinitely. Reading through the good days, the crappy days and everything else that comes your way. …so please don’t stop writing or feel like you need to censor yourself..because the internet has enough sand pails and shovels of awesome…we need to keep the buckets-o-awesome right where they belong. Which PS, is in my google reader.
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..Oh What A Day =-.

  23. Marinka June 27, 2010 at 10:28 PM #

    I love comments, but I also think it’s a huge compliment when someone reads you regularly and doesn’t feel the need to comment. Just knowing that they read is enough sometimes. Especially if they send a small to medium size gift. xox
    .-= Marinka´s last blog ..Glamorous =-.

  24. melissa June 27, 2010 at 10:23 PM #

    I read because I want to. I was just starting to read regularly before your stroke and loved your writing style and humor. I kept reading because I wondered & worried. I’m still reading because I like your style and humor. Full circle. I don’t comment because I figure you get so many comments you wouldn’t miss mine. If I could hear you rather than read you I wouldn’t be listening to see if you made a mistake, I’m pretty sure I would be wishing I had the courage/balls to say what you were saying.

  25. Kellee June 27, 2010 at 10:00 PM #

    I always read. I sometimes comment.

    One of the beautiful things about the blogosphere is that you can do exactly what you like. The anonymity of the interwebs allows us the freedom to behave as we wish.

    We are all here because we wish to be, because we are interested and because we love hearing your words and your story. Don’t doubt that.
    .-= Kellee´s last blog ..Diptychs =-.

  26. Fairly Odd Mother June 27, 2010 at 9:47 PM #

    Funny, I just wrote a post last week that got a large number of visitors (for my little site) but only a couple of comments. I wondered this sort of thing as well—if a post is read but no one comments, does it still matter (my lame attempt at a tree-falling-in-the-wood metaphor)?

    For me, commenting is often dependent on whether or not I have something to say. The fifth time I’ve written “Yeah! Go girl!” I start to question my creativity. But, I do read and I do want you to keep writing. I don’t think anyone (ok, maybe a troll) would call what you are doing “whining”. You are telling us about your life, and I, for one, feel privileged to be allowed into it.

    Don’t you dare stop writing. Too many people know where you live and could chase you down to knock some sense back into you. Plus, every time I see you have a new blog post up, I’m reminded that miracles do happen, and my heart does a little happy dance that your husband and kids still have you around. ; )
    .-= Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday- The Mini Mosh Pit =-.

  27. Wanda June 27, 2010 at 9:39 PM #

    I read you because sometimes you’re funny, sometimes sentimental but always honest. I will admit this is my first time commenting here but it is mainly because I am very shy and even reaching out to comment is hard. But you have to start somewhere so here I am….:)

  28. Cindy June 27, 2010 at 9:17 PM #

    Well, since you wondered, I’m reading because I’m still praying for you, like I have been since the day you had the stroke, and don’t want to forget you. I’d only “talked” to you a couple of times on Twitter before then, but your humor and spirit were captivating. I’m really enjoying seeing you find new depths to your strength, and pray for you every time you post! I know many people who would just become bitter and give up. You’re an inspiration. I guess I’m just kind of attached to you, and to that devoted husband of yours. :-)
    .-= Cindy´s last blog ..The Hillbilly Homeschool Scheduler =-.

  29. Amy June 27, 2010 at 8:50 PM #

    I always read and rarely comment. I’m new to your blog. Truthfully, I’m in awe every time I read and don’t know what to say back. Your stories are amazing – your life is amazing but then again, it’s not because it’s your life and how do you know any different? I’m married with 2 kids and I don’t know if our family dynamic would be as strong as yours is. We love each other and support each other but the humor and strength that you find in each other is awe inspiring.

  30. Bostulla June 27, 2010 at 8:28 PM #

    As a professional mime, commenting just seemed inappropriate.
    BTW, your writing is getting better by the day

  31. Val June 27, 2010 at 8:23 PM #

    I’ve read you for a bit now, and just recently added you to my reader. I don’t comment on anyone’s blog, except for a few close friends. Mainly bc I don’t click over from my reader…

    And I’ll be honest – a lot of times when people post things, I think maybe they are searching for something; a compliment, praise, something… But I don’t get that from you. At all.

    You have had an amazingly challenging adult life, and somehow has managed to come through it with a great sense of humor, and a wonderful out look on things. So when you are down, or sad, or “whining”, I don’t see it as you reaching out for everyone to pat you on your back and boost your ego. I see someone who is struggling, and mourning, and learning, and persevering. And doing it well.

  32. Michelle June 27, 2010 at 8:19 PM #

    I never feel like you are whining. To me you are just tellin’ it like it is. Life has dealt you some UBERcrap and you just keep dealing with it. If you were all sunshine and light about it I’d be forced to think that MUST be the stroke talking because….well, COME ON!

    I’m also honestly interested in what you go through (and how you and your family cope or don’t) as you deal with recovering every day. I LOVE when you report another success. I nearly pissed myself when you posted that video of you moving your arm. And when the post is less positive I send a little positive mojo your way. I’m fascinated watching your written communication evolve (because it is, you know).

    That being said, however, I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated to write about it, either. And I do not come here out of any sort of pity or just so you feel like someone is “listening”. I come here because you hooked me before you hit this latest speed bump and I’m more than willing to slow down with you to enjoy the view from whatever speed you need to go now.

  33. monstergirlee June 27, 2010 at 8:16 PM #

    Oh goodness, I read because I want to, because your story is amazing, and I’ve always thought you were really cool, pre- and post stroke. Sometimes I read on google reader and don’t comment, sometimes I do. Sometimes I don’t comment because I don’t want people to think I’m a super dork, because I am exactly that, and not very good with words. There are so many clever and funny people out there already commenting, that I’m intimidated by them. And that stops me.
    However I would never feel obligated to comment. Here or anywhere else.
    Sorry to ramble on in your comments.
    .-= monstergirlee´s last blog ..Picking Peas at AJs House =-.

  34. MommyGeek June 27, 2010 at 7:49 PM #

    I read here a lot but don’t comment. You’re in my reader and I usually don’t skip over your posts, but I rarely comment. Usually it’s because I don’t click over, or I’m reading from my phone in the bathroom (LOL). I read though, because your story inspires me, because I’m rooting for you. Because at BlogHer, at the registration desk last year, I introduced myself and you looked at me as if you really knew who I was (I don’t know if you really did) and said Hi! with a genuine smile, and hugged me without reservation, and I feel connected to you.

    I read because in a weird internet-but-sometimes-real-life-way, I feel like I know you, and I care about you.
    .-= MommyGeek´s last blog ..String Around My Finger =-.

  35. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] June 27, 2010 at 7:37 PM #

    This breaks my heart. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but I’ve seen you. I’ve sat with you and talked with you. I should have been there 2 weeks ago to take care of you, but my stupid effing knee is stupid.

    I will be there. I will always be here.

    We, the people of the internet love you. Share it all with us.
    .-= Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last blog ..Giving away the gay =-.

  36. Joan June 27, 2010 at 7:32 PM #

    Well, Anissa, it’s one of the lurkers. I did add a comment a while back about my brother who is also recovering from a devastating health crisis- 11 weeks in the hospital, 3 in rehab and now working to rebuild his strength as the world marches on and he struggles to keep up. I read because you give me hope and perspective- not only for my brother but for me as well. I read a lot of blogs and gain insights to how I can live my life to the fullest, to keep perspective when life throws curveballs and to keep my priorities straight which is why I laughed when the parking ticket (which I didn’t deserve, btw) I got in Portland the hour before I left the city for the airport flew off the car on the freeway.

    And you make me laugh. I’ll keep reading and will make a point to comment more often.

  37. Mrs. Schmitty June 27, 2010 at 7:30 PM #

    You get an obscene amount of readers because of who you are not because of what has happened to you. You are funny, smart, and a very inspiring woman. I don’t always comment but I am here because I want to be.
    .-= Mrs. Schmitty´s last blog ..A Day in the Park Turns to Tragedy =-.

  38. Tania June 27, 2010 at 7:03 PM #

    As one who has never before commented, it’s very easy to stop reading without feeling any sense of guilt or obligation. I know that you won’t miss me if I stop reading. I read because I find your story almost unbelievable, and you, yourself, inspirational.

  39. cindy w June 27, 2010 at 6:55 PM #

    Um… I’ve read a LOT of your blog posts. And I’ve never thought that any of it approached whining in any way, shape or form.

    Don’t get me wrong, there’s a plethora of whiny bloggers out there. But sorry, sistah, you ain’t one of them.

  40. Tina June 27, 2010 at 6:46 PM #

    I am one of those ‘silent readers’ and have never commented but look forward to your posts. I do not think you are whiny at all and I am actually inspired by how you are doing with what you have been dealt with in life. I didn’t come across your blog until your coma so did not know about Peyton until reading back. My aunt (in law)..does that even make sense?….had a stroke a few years ago and has not recovered as well as you have and I love reading how well you are doing.!

  41. jennifer June 27, 2010 at 6:22 PM #

    I read peyton’s site for several years. I’m an atheist and don’t pray so I never commented because, “wishing you the best!” doesn’t sound as sincere as, “I’m praying for you.” It’s just as sincere, but you know…

    I’ve grown to love your family and to love you. I read because I care and because I so want you to regain as much as your life as you can. You used to be simply funny as hell but now you are inspiring and funny as hell. You are still you and that is why I read.

    Wishing you the best!

    Jennifer

  42. Jeanie June 27, 2010 at 6:22 PM #

    Anissa, I’m one who reads but never comments. I just want you to know I don’t think you’re whiny at all. You have a gift with the written word. You have been through a lot but are making such great progress. I pray for you and your family and that soon you will be good as new.

  43. Denise June 27, 2010 at 6:02 PM #

    I can say being someone who stumbled on your blog from other blogs I read, I often want to comment and get distracted, or think- why would she want to hear from me? If anyone doesn’t want to hear you ‘whine’ I’m sure they wouldn’t read. It’s pretty simple. So everyone here- wants to be here. I never view your posts as whining by the way. Not at all. You are sharing your story- and it’s real. I’d be more disappointed if you only posted the ‘good happy’ stuff- though I wish everyone had a life full of good happy stuff- but that’s just not reality. So thank you for your story that you share every day.

  44. The Lass June 27, 2010 at 5:40 PM #

    I can’t really remember how I found ‘Hope for Peyton’, but the I did find you back then and I’ve read every one of your posts, then your husband’s and now yours again, because I just love you and your family in a true found-you-on-the-internet-never-met-you-personally-never-talked-to-you sort of way. You most certainly do not whine, what a silly notion! You’re hurting and struggling and fighting and loving and being your general amazing self. I don’t usually comment because I don’t want to say things that have been said about 20 times already and thus potentially have absolutely no significance for you on any level. You are always in my thoughts.
    .-= The Lass´s last blog ..Belated Munchkin Birthday Post =-.

  45. Kandi Ann June 27, 2010 at 5:27 PM #

    I read because I love that I was part of a Miracle. I Prayed so hard for you to find your way back to your family and am just giddy each time you post. I tell people I don’t want them reading me because all I do is bitch. But right now or recently, that is where my life was. its getting better. But I wrote for me. You need to write for you, and since you treasure your comments then God Bless you girl and keep it up. Because comments terrify me. I am so afraid someone will comment and I will miss it and they will think I ignored them. But I am thankful you are here to talk about your struggles. Its not like your sitting around doing nothing to improve. Your busting your ass to get better. You deserve to be cherished by all of us who Prayed for you, we love you and wanted you to stay here with us on earth. So please don’t quit writing. I will always be reading. Though I will go back to lurkdom of course. :o ) xoxo, Kandi Ann
    .-= Kandi Ann´s last blog .. =-.

  46. BecZhang June 27, 2010 at 5:23 PM #

    I didn’t know you existed before your coma. I was touched by the words written by many, especially your husband. I do not know what kind of writer or person you were before, but I do know that your strength and perseverance is amazing. I often feel like the comments I leave are lame, but I hope that you just feel supported. My friend recently had a stroke and your writing gives me hope. Thank you for being so open.

  47. chatty cricket June 27, 2010 at 4:52 PM #

    I read your writing all the time. I rarely comment. But it’s not because I don’t feel what you’re saying, it’s because when I do comment, I want it to be well thought out. You’re so honest with your journey Anissa, you deserve the same honesty and thought in return.

    I admire you. I admire your husband and your children. You AMAZE me. Please keep writing through your recovery.

  48. thepsychobabble June 27, 2010 at 4:41 PM #

    semi-silent reader #243252.2 here (which is amazing, because really? When do I ever shut my mouth?)
    I read you because you amazed and inspired me before you defeated the odds. Now that you have, and are continuing to do so, you amaze and inspire me even more.
    Plus, I like your bewbs.
    The silence is more because I’ve been busy with real world things, and while I still take the time to read (nearly) everything my favorite bloggers share, I’m often doing it on my phone. Which is not conducive to commenting. Which makes me a horrible fellow blogger.
    .-= thepsychobabble´s last blog ..It’s the little things =-.

  49. Chibi Jeebs June 27, 2010 at 4:21 PM #

    Dollface, isn’t the #1 rule of blogging that you get to post whatever you want on your blog? You’re not here to entertain us: you are being graceful enough to *allow* us to share your journey with glimpses into your recovery. Personally, if I don’t comment, it’s because I don’t know what to say. But I’m still reading. And still praying. And still sending love and well-wishes. <3
    .-= Chibi Jeebs´s last blog ..Im having a bad body day =-.

  50. Nadine June 27, 2010 at 4:20 PM #

    I read your blog because you are amazing. And because you are such a great writer. And because I am rooting for your full recovery.

    I believe, some time ago, someone turned me on to Aiming Low…and then I hopped over to Hope4Peyton and from there to Home #FreeAnissa. Believe me, I cried when I read of your stroke. And I clicked in many times a day for weeks (months?) looking for updates all the while praying for your recovery. I do believe that someday soon you will look back on your days in the hospital and your days in a wheelchair as just a distant (albeit bad) memory.

    I raely commment because I feel others are more eloquent with their words and have already said what I want to say. But I will try to be a better commenter going forward ;-)

    • Nadine June 28, 2010 at 11:04 AM #

      Geez, I forgot the whole point of my comment (see, this is why I rarely comment!)…I meant to say that I never, ever think of what you write as whining. Even when I think you deserve to whine, you do not appear to be whining. Telling it “like it is” while adding your own personal thoughts just can not be whining.

      Keep at it girl!

  51. Rebecca (Ramblings by Reba) June 27, 2010 at 4:16 PM #

    I’m basically a silent reader who has known you Since Before. (We met at Blissdom ’08 and were Twitter friends since then.)

    I always enjoy reading what you write. I never think it’s whining. However, I realize that I whine a lot about things that REALLY don’t matter. :)

    I don’t often comment, but I don’t often comment on most blogs these days.

    As for writing stuff that we don’t want to read, I don’t think that’s true. But if it is, we can chose not to read. I don’t plan on not reading. I’m learning a lot.

  52. Stacy June 27, 2010 at 4:07 PM #

    I did not know you before your stroke. It wasn’t until I saw all the twitter postings after your stroke that I began to follow and pray for you and your family. I have never, NOT EVEN ONCE, thought of any of your posts as whining. And seriously, with all that you and your family have been through I think you would be justified in any amount of whine you wanted to indulge in. But again, I have never thought of you as whining. Also, I am not waiting for you to mess up or make a mistake. I read your blog because you inspire me to do better in my life. To watch someone overcome a huge barrier and obstacle in their life helps me when I run into obstacles of my own. I know you never wanted to inspire people in the way that you do. It’s not what you signed up for in this lifetime. But, your do.

  53. Heidi June 27, 2010 at 3:56 PM #

    Another silent reader comes out of hiding. I read. Every word. I did before this stroke. I did before you moved from Hope 4 Peyton to this new blog. I did before Peyton got the most recent free and clear. And I will continue to read. Not because you have a story so beyond my comprehension but because even if your life was as monotonous as mine, you’d write it in such a way as to capture me and tape me on a journey.

    Never, ever would I read out of obligation. Out of pity. (Gag) I read b/c you capture me.

    And? You’re funny as hell. Doesn’t hurt. :)
    .-= Heidi´s last blog ..About that Knitting Thing =-.

  54. Lee Cockrum June 27, 2010 at 3:49 PM #

    I started reading during the first few days that you were in the hospital. I do not recall what led me to your husband’s writings.

    I am a pediatric physical therapist, I have done this job for 24 years. I also spent many years as a volunteer for the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I find it very good to read your blog, it helps me see things from another viewpoint. It is also very scary for me, because I do not know what I would do in your shoes. I do have a husband who loves me, but I was never able to have children, so I would not have that motivation to keep working hard for them.

    I admire your hard work, and your honesty. I hope that you are able to find good people to help you along this path of recovery.
    .-= Lee Cockrum´s last blog .. =-.

  55. Cayle June 27, 2010 at 3:41 PM #

    From a silent reader.

    My great grandpa had a stroke the year I was born. I sadly never had the chance to meet him though I would give anything to have done so. I know it hurt my great grandma, who is still alive, really bad. I love hearing your courage, strength, love for your kids, and love they give you. Although a silent reader I still love to read about your triumphs and your accomplishments. You have been so far and your post to me will never be whining.

  56. Adventures In Babywearing June 27, 2010 at 3:33 PM #

    You are a blogger, and you have always told your story, so why stop now? You owe it to yourself (and, ok, US!) to see how your story plays out. We are here because we want YOU, the good and the sometimes bad, sometimes sad, selfishly for me I want to hear your voice and this is how I can. I hope this makes sense. We love you.

    Steph
    .-= Adventures In Babywearing´s last blog ..On running and not even being chased- and alien shoes =-.

  57. cartside June 27, 2010 at 3:09 PM #

    I have never thought of a single post of yours as whining. I only comment if I have something to add, but your posts are complete, mostly I simply don’t have anything to add. And words often feel quite fickle, you are such an inspiration, and what can I say? I’ve never thought about the fact that silence can undermine or hurt. So apologies for not commenting, I read every single post and take time to read it.

  58. Heidi June 27, 2010 at 3:07 PM #

    I didn’t read your blog before you had your stroke, but started after reading a post on someone else’s blog about you. I read daily now because my husband and many of my friends have a blood clotting disorder that causes young people to have strokes…and so it hits close to home for me. My husband has had many mini strokes and could have a full blown stroke…actually, his neuro thinks he probably has. But my husband could be in your shoes and me in your husband’s.

    You are a beautiful, strong, amazing woman and don’t EVER think you are whining. The www has your back!
    .-= Heidi´s last blog ..DROID– =-.

  59. DesignHER Momma June 27, 2010 at 3:07 PM #

    Many of us read because we love you! And even if we can’t physically be on this journey with you do to distance, we want to know how you’re doing. We want to her about the hard days, the accomplishments (no matter how big or small they are.) We want to read about your life, just like we did before this all happened. Love you.

    xoxox
    Emily
    .-= DesignHER Momma´s last blog ..merightnow =-.

  60. Jennifer June 27, 2010 at 2:58 PM #

    My great grandmother had a stroke when she was 26 years old. This was in 1925. She had to learn to do everything over again. Walk, eat, breath, She always had trouble speaking from then on because of the aphasia and avoided phones like the plague. After the stroke and the semi recovery she worked for the city of Phoenix for 35 years. She never missed a single day. On top of working she raised my grandmother, my mother and me by herself ( ex husband was the reason for the stroke so he was out of the picture) My great grandmother was the most amazing women I have ever known. She was the living epitome of ” If it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger” You are another amazing women! You will survive this and you will be a better person for it. Your children and your husband are learning that if they persevere they can survive as well. Keep up the fight. You are doing a great job!

  61. miellyn June 27, 2010 at 2:48 PM #

    Here a word from a silent reader. I don’t read you because I feel obligated to listen… I read because I admire you, and the way you deal with all that has happened and is happening to you. You are fighting for what you want every day, and I root for you and want to cheer you on. I often don’t have much to say in the way of comments, but I hope that people reading will give you a feeling of support. I mean to do that, anyway.
    .-= miellyn´s last blog ..Baby =-.

  62. Stef June 27, 2010 at 2:41 PM #

    I think that your situation is very unique. It’s easy to chime in on a Mommy blog about potty training…many of us have been there. We would all have something to add to a post about breastfeeding, day care, cooking, awesome husbands, dorky husbands, weight loss…..you get the picture. However, I would venture to say that not many of us have had a child with leukemia AND had a stroke. You are in a league all your own. We sit and watch you process your life and we are all challenged and put to shame by your resilience and your lack of angst toward your situation. You are graceful and beautiful. You can handle much more than most of us could…and we are speechles.

  63. Carla - Jill of All Trades June 27, 2010 at 2:37 PM #

    Funny really. I read and read and sometimes I will comment but I don’t feel an obligation to. The only time I feel a need to comment is when I am reading and an idea is sparked then I will comment, like today. ;)
    .-= Carla – Jill of All Trades´s last blog ..840 =-.

  64. Ellie June 27, 2010 at 2:35 PM #

    I read because I want to see what you’re doing. You have a unique, interesting voice as a writer. I found myself emotionally invested in your story. I just never felt like I had anything particularly worthwhile or unique to add, so I’ve never commented. I don’t want to go on about what an inspiration you are– not that you aren’t, but it feels a little patronizing for some reason.

    If I felt like it was whining, I wouldn’t come back. There’s a lot of blogs on the internet, and I only come back to read a few.

  65. Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos June 27, 2010 at 2:35 PM #

    Sometimes I just don’t know that I have the right words. I am SO happy for you that you are doing well and progressing. You honestly just amaze me, and sometimes there just aren’t words for that.
    .-= Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos´s last blog ..♥I am the Princess- =-.

  66. Jamie June 27, 2010 at 2:30 PM #

    Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t feel obligation to read or comment. I don’t comment much (mostly because I didn’t want you to think they were pity comments or anything). Sometimes I think the things you write are just meant to be digested. Not…discussed, if that makes sense. You’re opening up this intensely personal thing-your stroke, your recovery, how it affects you (good, bad and ugly), how it affects your family and sometimes those things are too sacred for a comment. Does that make sense? What can I say that doesn’t feel trite when you’re writing about how your kids can’t play in the pool because of the worst happened, you couldn’t help. There’s nothing to say. It stands on it’s own without need for counterpoint or even comment. I never, never mark your blog as “mark all read”. I read, love and digest every word. Keep writing.

  67. Desera June 27, 2010 at 2:24 PM #

    Oh my! You have that so wrong! I read because you are such an inspiration to me and when I was first diagnosed with breast cancer, you were the first person I turned to and I had never talked to you before that! I emailed you just hoping that maybe you would respond and to my surprise, you did and you gave me such hope and good information. I am a very faithful follower and sometimes wonder myself if I should comment as often as I do, because maybe I am annoying to you….You keep doing what you are doing and I will keep reading and commenting because you have touched my life in a way that no other has, ever…I love you and your family!

  68. Mum2Five June 27, 2010 at 2:22 PM #

    Well, I spose I’m silent in the sense I don’t usually comment =)

    It’s YOUR space. Anybody that has a problem with what you write about here will usually stop reading anyway. Then they are the ones with a problem.

    You are amazing for being able to share a very raw side of yourself to anybody who cares to listen, and you’ve left that door wide open. Those of us who keep stopping by (commenting or not) do so because I think a part of us envys that openness. We appreciate how hard it is. We love what you write.

    You touch our hearts xo
    .-= Mum2Five´s last blog ..The Start of Something New =-.

  69. Kathie June 27, 2010 at 2:20 PM #

    Thank you for the invitation to speak, because that is what it felt like. I’m a lurking, silent, blogger groupie who is intimated by the brilliance of my favorite bloggers – you being one. Not having my own blog post to link to, I sometimes feel like I don’t have the “right” to comment. But I do have the choice to read, which I wouldn’t do if it was just whining. It would be awesome if your obscene amount of readers now became an obscene amount of commenters!

    • Tracy June 28, 2010 at 12:59 PM #

      Kathie,

      You took the words right out of my mouth! I too feel like sometimes it’s not my place to comment, I don’t have a blog link to post and 99.9999% of the time I don’t have 1/10th of the wit that these bloggers have!

  70. Amy June 27, 2010 at 2:15 PM #

    If recovering from a stroke isn’t the best reason to whine, I don’t know what is. But you’re not whining. You’re sharing your own beautiful, messy, human truth.

    But really, I’m just lurking until you’re well enough to start posting pictures of your boobs again. :)
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Taking a Page Out Of Mimis Book =-.

  71. Colleen June 27, 2010 at 2:05 PM #

    Nope, it’s not whining. I love reading what you have to say. You. Are. Perfect.

  72. Lisa June 27, 2010 at 1:57 PM #

    No one is obligated to read, no one is obligated to comment. Those of us who are reading are doing so because we care and because we know how important this outlet is for you and because we want to support you. We comment as a way to show that support, to let you know we are hearing, listening. You keep writing, we’ll keep reading and commenting.
    .-= Lisa´s last blog ..Ch-Ch-Changes =-.

  73. Museoddity June 27, 2010 at 1:47 PM #

    No one is obligated to click the link to this blog. I do so because despite never having met you I genuinely care about how you are doing. I read your blog prior to your strokes, I followed your husband’s and friend’s updates while you were in a coma, and I am thrilled to be reading posts from you again. Say what’s on your mind lady, when you are fighting such a monumental battle it is hard to write about much else. The people that love you are just so happy you are writing again! There is a season for everything. There will be time in the future to feel better and your posts will feel more upbeat then because of that but for now it is what it is, your are in a struggle and your writing reflects that. Anissa, you rock. Please keep writing. I’ll try to keep commenting.

  74. Nona June 27, 2010 at 1:45 PM #

    As one of your often-silent readers, please don’t stop blogging. I love your posts and I would miss you terribly if you weren’t here. You have been an inspiration to me. I should write that more often.

  75. mia June 27, 2010 at 1:45 PM #

    hello anissa, am another silent reader. i admire your courage and your perseverence. and your family – that you all pull together every day is pretty amazing for me.

  76. PrincessJenn June 27, 2010 at 1:41 PM #

    When I read you the last thing I ever think of is someone is whining. You tell your stories in such a way that your humor always shows through. And it allows us a glimpse into the strength and yet fragility that is life.
    I read, but only comment when I feel moved to do so. Or when I feel I have something to contribute. Or when I can actually put two coherent sentences together because my kid isn’t screaming ‘moooooooommmmy’ in my ear. ;-)
    .-= PrincessJenn´s last blog ..It’s Sinful =-.

  77. Tziedel June 27, 2010 at 1:39 PM #

    Hi, I’m another one of your silent readers – arrived via one of your tweets being retweeted and found your blog to be funny, inspiring, sad and very human. Your words are not from someone whining, but from someone who is experiencing her life and willing to share some of it a bunch of people. The desire to talk about what life is like for you now is normal and healthy and our desire to read about it means we support you.

  78. Mindy June 27, 2010 at 1:39 PM #

    I don’t comment because I rarely feel I have anything to add. This is YOUR blog, write what you damn well please, no one is obligated to read it. Big virtual hug to you. You are an amazing person.

  79. Headless Mom June 27, 2010 at 1:38 PM #

    I leave occasional comments so you won’t forget that I’m lurking around, praying for you, and can’t wait to smooch you in NYC. I click through because I know that every click counts and right now that’s how I can help. I love you, every word, good and bad. I’ve seen no whining here! I love that you’re kicking ass and taking names, and I know that it isn’t easy. Keep it up, Girl, and I hope that you get some oomph from us commenting, too. <3
    .-= Headless Mom´s last blog ..Sunday To Do List =-.

  80. Gina F. June 27, 2010 at 1:38 PM #

    I seldom comment because others usually say it better. I stick around to see how your life evolves. You and your husband’s strength impresses me. Yes, most of us do what we have to in life; but yours is an amazing journey and I’m grateful you share it with us.

  81. Stimey June 27, 2010 at 1:28 PM #

    I read because I care about you and you are such an incredible person. I don’t comment much, but I don’t feel obligated to read in any way, shape, or form. I’m thrilled to hear about your steps forward and learn from your posts about your struggles. You are an inspiration and I’m glad you’re here writing.
    .-= Stimey´s last blog ..Godzillas of Varying Ilks =-.

  82. Diana P June 27, 2010 at 1:24 PM #

    All those fools that think it’s whining can choose not to read and take you out of their Google Reader.

    I find your story so triumphant and inspiring that I look forward to your posts. I also pray for you every time #Free Anissa has unread items waiting for me to read. Please don’t stop. And, keep fighting.

  83. Twenty Four At Heart June 27, 2010 at 1:16 PM #

    I think a lot of people who comment do so because they either want return comments on their blog or they hope to pick up readers by having their comments out there getting them name recognition. Of course, this is not true of everyone. I tend to lurk much more than comment … mainly out of time constraints.

    I read you because I can relate to so much of what you write. Really, just about everything you write. I’m nearly four years post-car accident. Four years of intense physical therapy, four years of extreme ups and downs both physically and emotionally. No, I didn’t suffer a stroke … but so much is the same. Mourning for our old “normal” life … trying to increase function, being afraid of being a burden to those who love us … and on and on. I know no one ever truly understands someone else’s burden … but I can relate to so much of what you write about. Hopefully we’ll get a chance to say hello in nyc ….
    .-= Twenty Four At Heart´s last blog ..Mocha =-.

  84. Tracy June 27, 2010 at 1:16 PM #

    Hi!

    I’m normally one of those Ireadbutdon’tcomment people. I started reading you and Aiming Low about a week before your stroke. And while you were in the hospital I went back and got to know the old you a bit by reading your archives!

    I don’t think you’re a whiner notonelittlebit! I keep reading now, because i’m about the same age as you, and you’re an inspiration for people like us, who might not take great care of ourselves all the time, to remember to do so!

    We all love that you are back to blogging, I look forward to reading something new from you, I check every day :D

    Keep on keeping on!
    Tracy

  85. Amber June 27, 2010 at 1:07 PM #

    I’ll be honest, I had only heard OF you before your stroke. I had seen tweets with your name included from some other people I follow. I had read a few of your blog postings, but never commented.

    When my feed went crazy the day of your hospitalization I started reading your old blog. Then your husband started posting from there. I was floored with the story, and cried so many times…even though we had never met or “talked” in any way.

    I’m not sure what about the posts hit me so hard. I’ve never had a loved one suffer the same affliction…but we all have people in our lives that have suffered…whatever the cause. The outpouring of support and emotion from your friends and longtime readers was overwhelming. I was hooked on the updates.

    Since your return to Twitter and to the land of blogging, I’ve been following along, but haven’t commented since my first and only comment on an entry from your husband when the donations were first being collected. I donated and left a comment telling him so. I wished your family luck, and then stepped back into the sidelines to watch from afar. I did add you on Twitter, and love to see your updates there!

    Your writing has NEVER sounded like whining. You have had your voice stripped away so you write. We all complain about day to day things, but you have a real journey that you’re sharing with us. Please, don’t stop!
    .-= Amber´s last blog ..BlogHer10 =-.

  86. Michaela June 27, 2010 at 1:06 PM #

    I don’t think you’re a whiner. If I did, I’d just unsubscribe. I read your stuff because I enjoy your writing. And because you don’t sugarcoat real life. I don’t comment because I’m lazy. Simple as that : )

  87. Susan Powers June 27, 2010 at 1:04 PM #

    Not a blogger, just a silent reader. What Locoyaya said expresses my thoughts better than I can express them myself.

  88. Linnae June 27, 2010 at 1:02 PM #

    Anissa … .like Anne, I read because you amaze me. You inspire me. Really. While I have experienced my own fair share of pain and true suffering I don’t have the courage to talk about it beyond a few of my closest friends. Yet you willingly put your pain and suffering out there for the world to see and (hopefully!) learn from and I like that. Never have I considered you writing for self-pity or looking for someone to feel sorry for you. Probably I will never meet you or your family, but you will never cease to amaze me. And what the hell … if you need to whine a little who gives a rip! lol Thank you for sharing and I wish you only the best!

  89. Laura June 27, 2010 at 1:01 PM #

    I read because I like you. I like that you are honest about the fact that what you’re going through really really sucks. It’s honest and so many people aren’t honest. They edit themselves because of what they think their readers would enjoy.

    I don’t comment because, well… I feel like it would be presumptuous. Who am I? I’ve never had things thrown at me, like you have.

    Long comment, short. Keep writing. Keep being honest. We’re listening and we love you.

    Laura

  90. Sandi June 27, 2010 at 1:00 PM #

    I usually only comment when I have something to add other than “me too!”

    We’ve never met but I read here and follow you on twitter. I don’t want to write anything too presumptive because sometimes it feel like I know you better than I really do & 1) I don’t want to offend you 2) I don’t want you/people to think “who the hell is this?”

    Ok, I’m going to hit submit before I chicken out and delete this
    .-= Sandi´s last blog ..we have co-operative play- =-.

  91. kat June 27, 2010 at 12:57 PM #

    Hi. :) I rarely comment on anyone’s blog because I usually don’t know what to say or it’s already been said….I’m not really a part of the blogging community, just a silent reader, but I think you’re great, I feel that you are entitled to write whatever you like and it would only make sense that you write about what is most prevalent in your life right now. I’ve not once felt that you were whining, only getting out what you need to get out. I’m amazed by you and all you have been through (and your family). Love you.

  92. LocoYaYa June 27, 2010 at 12:56 PM #

    i am one of the silent readers. i was directed your way via the bloggess. quite some time ago. i was reading you following your daughters story before you had your stroke. i may have commented back in the past but not many times.

    you know when you are in high school and youre a freshman…and the seniors sit around and talk and you sooooo wanna jump in and say something but you dont, because you are just a freshman. in the blogging world i am still just a freshman (in my mind) and you…you are a senior. in the top 10% of the class. and sometimes i think maybe i do not comment because i feel insignificant. and dumb. or that what i wanna say has been said already. or i cannot see through my tears to type.

    but i do sit here and read. and laugh. and get inspired. and cry.

    and you are not whining. you are living. and learning. and growing. and taking notes. and getting stupid shit off your chest. and reaching out. and feeling. and just being…a mom, a blogger, and anissa. so you just keep on.
    .-= LocoYaYa´s last blog ..My Big Huge Rag-Tag Family =-.

  93. Elizabeth June 27, 2010 at 12:55 PM #

    I deal with a chronic illness that so far has been manageable, but continues to get worse.

    My family, probably because they were used to the “whining”, never respected my illness or the limitations it placed on me. There are things that I actually cannot participate in fully because of what I suffer from. It’s not that I don’t want to — my body will not allow it. Another thing that makes it tough is the fact that I *look* healthy.

    When my husband came along and we started dating I felt so blessed that there was someone who understood and did not judge or become annoyed by my occasional flare up. But even now, after four years, I can see it wearing on him too.

    Yes, there are probably people out there who think you are whining. And I’m sorry if that is causing you any worry or pain because I KNOW. You don’t want to be in that chair. You want to move. You want to be able to do the things you did before.

    This wasn’t your choice. You have my love and prayers.
    .-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Sunday Morning Coffee and a “Getting to Know You” =-.

  94. Miriam B. June 27, 2010 at 12:52 PM #

    Not for a minute do I think of you as whining. I read because you say things like “I can’t explain what it does to a person like me to have the gift of quick speech stolen.”

    You sure haven’t lost the gift of communication.

    I have friends with disability problems, and I think about them as I read your posts. I hadn’t been commenting because, well, who am I to have anything to say, just another drive-by stranger.

    This whole business of being tuned into, and worrying about, the lives of strangers is something I’m trying to think about. There’s a number of people I check for obsessively on twitter, and blogs I keep my eye on; I worry about about these people, as if their lives are any of my business. Well, you are one of them.

  95. Melisa with one S June 27, 2010 at 12:48 PM #

    Nope. No obligatory feelings here. I find you very inspiring and by commenting, it’s my way of giving you a small offering of thanks, as well as encouragement, just so you’ll know that I hope you continue to share your journey. It’s my pleasure to comment, not my duty. xoxo
    .-= Melisa with one S´s last blog ..Storming MSI Chicago =-.

  96. Janis @ Sneak Peek At Me June 27, 2010 at 12:37 PM #

    A lot of the time I don’t comment…well because I feel like you’ll be “There she is saying she understands or she ‘gets me’, again. And frankly she doesn’t.”

    But I can totally see the flip side, because my readers to commenter ratio is WAY LOW too. (See there I am telling you I understand.) I genuinely could have written this post..but as usual you said it better than I could have.
    .-= Janis @ Sneak Peek At Me´s last blog ..What In The Heck Is She Talking About Now =-.

  97. Scatteredmom June 27, 2010 at 12:32 PM #

    Nope. I don’t feel obligated at all. I remember the day that you had your stroke, and how we joked on Twitter about you rubbing jalapeno juice in your eyes. When I heard that only hours later you were in the hospital, I was horrified. HORRIFIED. Even though we’ve never met and I haven’t talked to you a whole lot through the Internets, I kinda felt like I knew you a bit. Throughout it all I followed your recovery and I am so thrilled that you are back online.

    I don’t always comment because often I don’t have the time to read/comment on blogs as much as I’d like to. Sometimes what I want to say has already been said over and over. Sometimes I’m just sitting here, nodding and smiling, thinking happy thoughts but not in the mood to say much.

    When I do comment, I have something to say. NEVER do I feel obligated. :)
    .-= Scatteredmom´s last blog ..Food Revolution Friday- Pizza =-.

  98. Mark (Dudge OH) June 27, 2010 at 12:29 PM #

    I only ever Comment when I can provide some kind of useful input or anecdote on the entry’s subject matter or to show support for the blogger’s situation. As someone who also blogs, I used to get a little uptight when people visited an entry of mine, yet I got few Comments, but now I realize that blogging for me, (and I think most people), is mostly for the therapeutic process of getting shit of one’s chest.
    .-= Mark (Dudge OH)´s last blog ..dudgeoh- RT -AngryBritain- Good on you GER you played better than us on the day That is all This is how a rugby fan would take the defeat =-.

    • Mark (Dudge OH) June 27, 2010 at 12:40 PM #

      As for why I read? When I follow people and read their blogs/tweets/etc., its not out of some sympathetic obligation, but because I have found their writing &/or their story interesting &/or funny or something I feel I could learn from.

  99. Janet Isserlis June 27, 2010 at 12:29 PM #

    can’t speak for others. Your writing doesn’t feel like whining, I don’t feel obliged in any negative way to respond; sometimes I feel compelled because you’ve said something that I want to respond to in one way or another.
    this blog thing can sometimes be useful to writers all by itself (there, I’ve said x); but often times it feels better to know that someone’s heard what we’ve written, thought, said.

    that someone else is there.
    that someone is paying attention.
    please don’t stop writing.

  100. Anne June 27, 2010 at 12:27 PM #

    I read because you amaze me. I have a friend who is currently in a coma fighting to get back to her husband and 4 children. Your words give me hope that she will pull through.
    Xoxo
    .-= Anne ´s last blog ..Air Bud- World Pup Special Edition Review =-.

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