staying married is a full contact sport, with rule books and umpires

In the course of rehab my husband has been trusted with certain types of duties.  I generally trust him in most things, unless he gets that crazy gleam in his eyes.

You might think I’m exaggerating, but you haven’t seen those shiny eyes bearing down on you like it might be your last day.

EVER.

E-V-E-R.

So, a few months ago we got a device that would help us work muscles that don’t work on their own.  It was called E-Stim…for Electrical Stimulation.  It would electrocute muscle groups to help them remember how to move.

The only word my husband heard was: electrocute.

My leg have moved funny.  Let’s electrocute them!

My fingers started stirring.  Let’s electrocute them!

My arm has is reaching new heights.  Let’s electrocute it!

Orphans have saved baby seals.  Let’s electrocute them!!!

You get the picture.

Today, we went to our acupuncturist and I didn’t feel good enough for a session.  My husband did and I encouraged him to keep his appointment.

Halfway through the session I asked my dearly beloved a favor.

“Can I stab you with a needle?”

“NO!”

“Please?”

“NO!”

“Why not?”

“Why would I let you stick more needles in me?”

“So, you’ll quit asking me if you can electrocute me all the time.”

“But I do it with your best intentions in mind.”

“Obviously I do too. Let me stab you once and you’ll see.”

This went on for a little while.

He never let me stab him.

Clearly, he doesn’t value my love.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

,

18 Responses to staying married is a full contact sport, with rule books and umpires

  1. Kyooty June 5, 2010 at 8:28 AM #

    Oh that gives a whole new meaning to “POKE!” doesn’t it.

  2. Texaschiefs June 4, 2010 at 8:22 PM #

    Oh, my…if my own husband weren’t so dang nice, and willing to cause me pain in the name of good, your’s might be in jeopardy from my feminine wiles! LOL

  3. Miss Britt June 4, 2010 at 6:47 PM #

    I’m so impressed that you asked first.

    Less impressed that you took no for an answer. ;-)
    .-= Miss Britt´s last blog ..This oil spill? Not BP’s fault. Not really. =-.

  4. kristenkj June 4, 2010 at 6:45 PM #

    We used e-stim on my sons foot when he had his stroke. Coolest thing ever. I put it on my hand to check it out…wow.

    You make me laugh. That is good.
    .-= kristenkj´s last blog ..Longing =-.

  5. yogagalnw June 4, 2010 at 12:45 PM #

    THANK YOU!!!! I so needed that laugh today! Keep up the monumental awesomeness Anissa!

  6. Elizabeth June 4, 2010 at 9:55 AM #

    Some husbands are just no fun! Although, have you thought of how much fun it might be to not only poke him with a needle but to then ELECTROCUTE that needle? He probably has, which is why he said no!

  7. Kate, aka guavalicious June 4, 2010 at 9:28 AM #

    That’s just wrong. Being married should have some benefits. ;)
    .-= Kate, aka guavalicious´s last blog ..Girl vs. Food =-.

  8. Hockeymandad June 4, 2010 at 9:22 AM #

    That is one smart man!!!
    .-= Hockeymandad´s last blog ..Meet Me There =-.

  9. Michelle June 4, 2010 at 9:10 AM #

    Come ON! Doesn’t he know how therapeutic that would be for you? And I’m TOTALLY talking about increasing your range of motion and strengthening your needle grip (not at ALL about revenge). ;)

    NEEDLE GRIP! Even better than KUNG FU GRIP!

  10. Janice (5 Minutes for Mom) June 4, 2010 at 12:37 AM #

    NOT FAIR!!!! Come on — you totally deserve to be the stabber just once!
    .-= Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)´s last blog ..KidsCraft Playhouses – Where Creativity Blossoms =-.

  11. Al_Pal June 3, 2010 at 7:33 PM #

    Hah! Sounds like interesting times… GL getting to poke him. Heh. ;D

  12. Julie Presley June 3, 2010 at 6:04 PM #

    Hmmmmm. i think I need that machine! Does it make brains work better? Husbands do laundry!? I bet I can figure out a way…

  13. Lori V. June 3, 2010 at 6:04 PM #

    I’ve seen that gleam come about him before – it’s scary and I am NOT the one being electrocuted.

    Come on Pete – just let her stab you, just once. Anissa – repeat after me “it won’t hurt, I promise”
    .-= Lori V.´s last blog ..Tackle It Tuesday =-.

  14. Kristin June 3, 2010 at 5:56 PM #

    OMG, you are so incredibly funny. That sounds just like an exchange (obviously on a different subject) my husband and I might have. I think you should ask him at random points during the day if you can stab him with a needle to make something work better.
    .-= Kristin´s last blog ..A Better Middle =-.

  15. Sara (@Doodle741) June 3, 2010 at 5:46 PM #

    LOL!! Now, I want to know how long it takes before he asks if he can eletrocute you again!!

  16. Janis @ Sneak Peek At Me June 3, 2010 at 5:44 PM #

    Clearly.

    He probably doesn’t trust that arm might “accidentally” spasm and maim his manhood..or some other parts.
    .-= Janis @ Sneak Peek At Me´s last blog ..The Power of Love And Loss =-.

  17. ThePeachy1 June 3, 2010 at 5:43 PM #

    I can’t possibly fathom why on earth he would not let you stab him? WTF Pete get on the team man … LOL… nice try Niss

  18. Domestic Extraordinaire June 3, 2010 at 5:43 PM #

    its not like you were even asking him if you could stab him with 2 needles at once…geez, he is a spoil sport…*snort*

Leave a Reply