Archive | July, 2010

the difference in shopping experience

People think it’s so cool when you get stuff for free.  They forget everything comes with a price of it’s own for me. I remember back when things were easy. When they were simple. When I took them for them for granted. Then I got the offer to be a part of the GAP’s #GapMagic [...]

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wherever you are, you’re not there

I used to try to get out of the bed. When I was in the nursing home, I learned there were very different rules in there. And I tried to get out of bed back when I had a feeding tube, they made me wear a diaper, and I laid in a bed most of [...]

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when every shoe can’t be high-heeled

There was a time when I used to be a pro at shoe-shopping. It was one of my limited talents. I don’t build things, I don’t invent things, I don’t bake things that I see on the Food Network. But I can buy some shoes. And then I had strokes. And my feet were different [...]

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when the right reasons are selfish

There has been a weird sense of what the normal world would call popularity. And I really don’t get it. Something happened when I was in the hospital.  When people thought I might die, they really chose to do the absolute best and most they could for my family. Food.  Support. Understanding. Toys. Comfort.  Distractions. [...]

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Impatient is a word that most people don’t dream about

It feels like something more should be happening. I go to massage therapy twice a week to try to make things that aren’t working…work. I do all the exercises that the therapists have shown me. I make the sounds, I form the expressions, I push on every crevice on my face. Progress remains slow and….always [...]

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going back to school might require drinks

We went through the doors like a herd of drunk emu. To be honest I don’t know what a drunken emu really looks like. But, seriously, if it can cause panic on the faces of hairdressers in Great Clips across the country, you have to wonder if the emu might not know something we don’t. [...]

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at least i won’t have to bring too many shoes as i’m prone to do

People have said the nicest things they can think to say.  Things that will encourage me.  Things that make me feel a lot better about seeing people I’ve known in the past and those that I will get the chance to meet. Whether sooner or later. But it doesn’t stop me from having the fears [...]

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i guess we won’t be having rice for dinner tomorrow

I’ve been lucky that week after week we’ve been able to have friends or family here.  It would have been so much easier if we lived in Tampa or Daytona, where we have lots of loved ones.  We have managed the past months on the hearts of those that taken time to come to Georgia [...]

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just in case you thought i was into blinding agony

I was on this phone call and the voices made me smile.  They took away the grumpy, moody shadow I’ve been living under and reminded me that if I wanted to be unhappy I could be.  I had that power myself. So I chose to do away with the negativity that has been trying to [...]

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when you know you suck but you can’t really help it

It’s hard when you’re offered something you’d like to take advantage of, but you have to figure out the right way to tell them that you’re in a wheelchair.  Do you tell them casually, pretend that everyone knows, and it’s no big thing. Or do you say it sort of pointedly so there is no [...]

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don’t make me smack the &$@%^#! out of you

Someone shared news with me and I was happy for them. Happy with them. Someone else was the voice of unhappiness and they grumbled the slightest bit. They grumbled just enough for me to realize that it was true.  They were snarky JUST long enough for it to feel sincere. They let me hear the [...]

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days that i wish i didn’t have to be nicer than this

Days like this I wish I had a woobie. Something soft and cuddly that would take all the bad away. Bad feelings.  Bad emotions.  Bad moods. Bad hurts. Because the hurt is bad tonight. Some days I’m tired of being a trooper..being a good little fighter. Some days I just feel like lying down and [...]

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can you tell the difference in something by its sound?

SNAP! That sound can be good or bad. Panics sets in because I can’t see what happened. But I heard the sound. The very loud sound. SNAP! My mouth said it, and I wasn’t sure why. I felt around my mouth with my good hand and …something felt different. With things the way they were [...]

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