Days like this I wish I had a woobie.
Something soft and cuddly that would take all the bad away.
Bad feelings. Bad emotions. Bad moods.
Bad hurts.
Because the hurt is bad tonight.
Some days I’m tired of being a trooper..being a good little fighter.
Some days I just feel like lying down and crying until I throw up.
This is one of those days. And I know it has to get worse before it gets better. I know it hurts so that it can heal and feel better.
I know all of that.
I KNOW.
It doesn’t mean I have to like it when it hurts so much I yell from the pain. It doesn’t mean that I have to smile when something is so painful that I cry.
Tonight I’ll just close my eyes and pretend I don’t have to go back.
Tonight I will say all the things I don’t let myself say in front of the kids.
Tonight I’ll wish I had a woobie.
You know, sometimes in airports and grocery stores and shopping malls when I encounter the inevitable 4 year-old having a melt down — just screaming bloody murder in public because she’s stressed or tired or over-stimulated or hungry — I think “wow, that must be nice.” Seriously. To be able to throw a hissy when you need to, because you just have to let off the pressure. Most often that kid isn’t hurting anyone one. He’s not calling names or hitting people or throwing things. He’s annoying up-tight adults, but not hurting anyone. I wonder why that is the prerogative of children and we have to outgrow it. And you know, in the grand scheme of the world, my problems don’t even rate as problems and I want to indulge. So my point is, why not cry until you throw up sometimes? Who does it hurt? People who expect you to be strong and not annoy them with your need to let off steam? They’ll get over it.
If you tell me what exactly a woobie looks like I will make you one of your own to hug when you are feeling down, had a bad day or just want to…:) Take care Anissa you are so very strong.
Wanda´s last post…He Makes Me Proud
I don’t know you at all but I love you. Thank you for sharing your struggles, triumphs and most of all your heart with us.
Some days just suck and that’s ok. The next day might be better.
Am sending a woobie from VA so you can punch the hell out of it and then give it a big hug, because it doesn’t judge what you do to it. It just loves you. But it will probably be covered with cicadas, so just brush those suckers off first.
This blog is your woobie.
We are your woobie.
Cry and rail at the world and we will hold you up.
Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo´s last post…On the coldest day in YEARS they turn off my gas Motherfuckers
I wish you had a woobie too! I’m sorry you are in pain.
I’m thinking good thoughts for you.
kim @ mommyknows´s last post…Summer So Far …
May somehow, someway, all our comments be your woobie, Anissa. We all are rooting for you…
You COULD start sucking your thumb.
But then you’ll need braces, and that’s a whole other deal you’ll have to worry about, so maybe not.
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]´s last post…You don’t want to read about my heart problems- do you You do I LOVE YOU
Oh Anissa, I totally cannot imagine.
As Rachel said, even at your “weakest” you’re stronger than most of us. Definitely a million times stronger than me.
Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)´s last post…The Bully
more love from California. I ditto everyone’s sentiments – you are one tough chicka mom but we are all just too human. When you find the right time for a good cry, know that we are all there with you. Now I need to go and Google ‘woobie’
Bri´s last post…Cuteness Overload
So sorry. Sending you much love and thinking about you today. Hope today is better.
Anissa you kick so much GD ass right now YOU will beat this because your family are fighters… survivors… ass kickers. Now GO… FIGHT that pain and frustration with laughter and love. Kill it with kisses from your husband and children… Feel the pain and then keep fighting. We are pulling for you. All of us.
DivineENVE´s last post…If you dont know what FB stands for in this post- I cant help you
It can be so hard to find the space to let it all go, especially when you are a mom.
You’ve been on a long climb and I’m pretty sure you push yourself harder than anyone else could ever push you. Its ok to sit down and let out all the fear, anger and misery. Purging those emotions is healthy.
Praying for you today.
Barnmaven´s last post…Being an Us
Oh Anissa, I wish I had a woobie to give to you. I’m so sorry.
love you!!!
Rachel said it so perfectly and simply. But you know I have to add something anyway!
You are allowed to let yourself cry, scream, and feel sorry for yourself every now and then. It is ok to give yourself a short break every now and then as long as you don’t wallow in it.
Because guess what sweetie, even though it hurts, at least you can feel the pain. It is so much better than the alternative.
Alicia´s last post…Back away from the cream cheese
Thinking about you friend!
Oh, I totally agree with Rachel that you are stronger than anyone I know even if you do lie down and cry until you puke. Also? Who could blame you?
I totally have a woobie. It’s a bright green, super cozy blankie. You should seriously look into getting one. Never underestimate the comfort a snuggly blankie can provide.
Oh, Anissa – go have a good cry and give yourself a break! All that frustration has got to get out somehow! None of us expect you to keep your gameface on all the time; it’s not healthy.
I do have a “woobie.” He’s a 167 lb English Mastiff/Great Pyrenees. He wouldn’t mind you hugging, crying, and snotting all over him.
I’ve been sitting here for ages wishing that there was something that I could say, do or be to make it better…
I know that I can’t though…so just know that I’m sitting here, thinking about you…wishing I had a magic wand that I could wave to make it better…and trying to will hugs, love and comfort to be transmitted through my computer….which I can only imagine would be much easier if I had a stupid magic wand in the first place.
*hugs*
Erin´s last post…Its Not Even Halloween
Have you considered a Snuggie? Actually it was you who got me into Snuggies, you put a photo on your blog and I thought it was a joke but how awesome they would be if they were real. Then I found out they WERE real! It won’t take the hurt away but they sure are cuddly and you can laugh at yourself for owning one. And when you are better, you can wear it to a football match. Snuggies make GREAT woobies.
I have felt this way recently but for very different reasons. When I hear you say it, it makes mine seem, well, less. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
I’m having a day like that too today. Too much pain to handle, tired of fighting for mini-baby steps, tired of all of it. Somedays I can handle the high pain days and somedays … are like today. I’ve never had a woobie, but I think you might be on to something. Maybe a woobie would make the bad days just a little bit easier.
xoxox
Twenty Four At Heart´s last post…Dear Facebook- Youre Being an Asshat
It sounds like you had a bitch of a day. I’m sorry hon.
Kristin´s last post…A bit of this- a bit of that
Reading this made me think about the album (yes album, it is truly oldschool) “Free to be You and Me” There is one song that comes to mind- It’s alright to cry, crying gets the sad out of you, it’s alright to cry, it might make you feel better. Get your cry on and get a woobie, you certainly deserve one.
Renee´s last post…Time Keeps on ticking
Kendryk would not mind being your woobie! She has had a great day, but me your post sums it up, though for me not physical pain but emotional, I was given a manuel today and that well yeah been one of those days for me. But tomorrow is a new day and it WILL be better!
Christina´s last post…And there off!
I love you. (woobie.)
maggie, dammit´s last post…The Lemonade Stand In Memory of Chris
I am holding you in the Light. (It’s a Quaker thing.)
Also, saw this and thought of you: http://sharerp.com/fx
Breathe and be kind to yourself.
Shelley´s last post…Outta Here
You NEED a woobie. It’s okay to have one. My woobie is named Ricky the Rice Pack.
Maria´s last post…Trajectories
I wish I had a “woobie” to send you.
Lisa
Sounds like a tough day. Hang in there, good thoughts coming from Ohio…
Have a good cry. It really helps. When I was feeling my worst, a good, really hard, “I’m almost gonna throw up” cry always helped me to relax and feel more at peace. Sometimes you just have to get it out.
First you get a wobbie then next thing you know you are strung out on comforters and duvets.
Mandi Bone´s last post…Why I showed my boobies
I can’t imagine.
Anissa, even at your “weakest” you’re stronger than most people I know.
You’re a bad-ass-rocker-chick who defies odds, inspires and brings it.
LOVE you