It feels like something more should be happening.
I go to massage therapy twice a week to try to make things that aren’t working…work.
I do all the exercises that the therapists have shown me.
I make the sounds, I form the expressions, I push on every crevice on my face.
Progress remains slow and….always too slow.
I have dreams about the parts of my body taking giant leaps forward. I have to be satisfied with the work I can do, and the tiny, baby steps that I’m taking.
I actually dreamed about something more. I dreamed about the muscles of my face letting loose and my mouth being normal. Again. I dreamed that I woke up and I threw both legs over the side of the bed. Then I got up and walked to the bathroom like I used to. Used to. I dreamed of throwing a baseball. There was a sand lot where I had taken my kids and we just tossed the ball around. Over and over. Laughing.
I always dream.
I dream of the day that I can walk with assurance. When my arm and hand work with total confidence. There will be a time that I’ll smile with no self-awareness issues.
Until then I’ll take my baby steps of progress.
Small as they may be.
They ARE progress.
I take what I can get.