I was on this phone call and the voices made me smile. They took away the grumpy, moody shadow I’ve been living under and reminded me that if I wanted to be unhappy I could be. I had that power myself.
So I chose to do away with the negativity that has been trying to creep in. I decided that only I could make myself miserable.
And then there are the parts that don’t want to try anymore because of pain.
The parts that wimp out.
I know tomorrow is going to hurt to the point of tears. It has each time.
This doctor pushes harder and wants more than I have had to give. This is the first time I have come away from therapy in tears that aren’t from cognitive tests. This doctor makes me curse in ways that are totally real.
It hurts.
Bad.
More than any therapy has hurt before.
It is going to work.
I’m sure of it.
Something inside me keeps holding onto that belief.
It’s going to work.
If I didn’t believe it, there wouldn’t be a purpose for so much pain.
IT.IS.GOING.TO.WORK.
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
You have made amazing progress already. Every time you write about another milestone, another movement, another Jaw “snap”, I’m amazed beyond belief at how far you’ve come in, really, such a short period of time!
If you ask me, it’s not that this treatment WILL work, it’s that this treatment IS WORKING.
Keep up the good work!
Kevin´s last blog ..Sunday- Sunday
“Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.”
-Henry Thoreau
Now go kick a*s tomorrow, Anissa!
It will work. Your PT isn’t torturing you for the fun of it. If he’s pushing you THAT hard it’s because he sees that you ARE going to benefit from this. (Unless it’s because you stole his lunch. You didn’t, right?)
If we could take some of the pain away we would. I really, really wish we could.
Jessica (@It’s my life…)´s last blog ..A string of cousins
it IS working girl and it will continue to work – and your doc better watch out. you might take Angie’s advice.
Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)´s last blog ..Easy Goodies to Make with Kids
I have so much on my heart for you right now, but it’s all jumbled and emotional, and I’m not sure you want all THAT here on your blog
Suffice it to say that I’m praying for you! 
IT’S GOING TO WORK!! I know it.
Melisa with one S´s last blog ..Going to Blogher10 Meet Some of My Friends!
Am I allowed to state simply, Hells. Yes!?!
You’re rather endearing with all of this positivity, even when you talk of the negativity and how it consumes you. I’d kiss you on the face. That’s for damn sure.
Keep on keepin’ on Anissa!
Of course it will. Of Course.
YES.IT.IS., INDEED. Remember, pain is weakness leaving the body, repeat that over and over during your session.
Because you are you, I know this is going to work and I LOVE it that you do, too. Just proves the point.
I love to hear it. I don’t want you in pain, tho. But you are awesome.
Steph
Adventures In Babywearing´s last blog ..It might be me
What’s that unfortuante saying? …no pain…no gain?
As much as it sucks….just think…with a whole lotta pain…that’s GOTTA mean a whole lotta gain!
You can only go up from here…and I’m sitting behind my screen watching you reach for the stars with all the confidence that you not only will you reach them, but you will OWN those bitches.
Goodluck tomorrow
Erin´s last blog ..Its Not Even Halloween
Hells yes it is. And then you’re going to use that arm to give Mr. Dr.’s butt a good hard pinch.
In such awe of you…… you amaze me every single day. AMAZE.
Thinking of you, friend – cheering you on.
xoxo
Danielle Smith´s last blog ..Talk Live Vlogging Tips- Don’t make a script
You rock girl. You inspire me and make me laugh every day. No pain no gain. Fight through it. You are one person I know will perservere!
*gets out her sparkly pompoms*
It will work. It will work.
Goooooo Anissa!
*jumps and waves pompoms*
You bet it will! And guess what else. Since you are the one going through it, you get to curse and yell all you want to! Tell that doc EXACTLY how you feel! And record it for me
Alicia´s last blog ..Back away from the cream cheese
I just said a little prayer for you. You can do this! You really do move mountains.
yep…it is going to work. it is going to work.
and a little glad to hear it is a doc and not your therapist taking you through this.
It IS going to work!! GO ANISSA!
Yes. It. Will!!
You are WOMAN!! We hear you ROAR!!!
Bless you girl…you will put us all to shame. You GOT this!!!
Much love!
ViolinMama´s last blog ..Small Successes and Thankful Thursday – Getting Sick Edition
Love you babe. Miss you.
YOU ARE ANISSA FREAKING MAYHEW.
YOU CAN DOOOOO EEEETTT!!!!!
VDog´s last blog ..Sparkle party in my pants by @misstejota
Hot Damn Yeah! That pain is gonna produce results! Wish I could think of a way to help you cope…
You are brave. You are strong. You’ve got this!
It will work.
Then you can junk-punch the doctor.