I was on this phone call and the voices made me smile. They took away the grumpy, moody shadow I’ve been living under and reminded me that if I wanted to be unhappy I could be. I had that power myself.
So I chose to do away with the negativity that has been trying to creep in. I decided that only I could make myself miserable.
And then there are the parts that don’t want to try anymore because of pain.
The parts that wimp out.
I know tomorrow is going to hurt to the point of tears. It has each time.
This doctor pushes harder and wants more than I have had to give. This is the first time I have come away from therapy in tears that aren’t from cognitive tests. This doctor makes me curse in ways that are totally real.
More than any therapy has hurt before.
It is going to work.
I’m sure of it.
Something inside me keeps holding onto that belief.
It’s going to work.
If I didn’t believe it, there wouldn’t be a purpose for so much pain.