when you know you suck but you can’t really help it

It’s hard when you’re offered something you’d like to take advantage of, but you have to figure out the right way to tell them that you’re in a wheelchair.  Do you tell them casually, pretend that everyone knows, and it’s no big thing. Or do you say it sort of pointedly so there is no mistaking the issue?

All of that so they can write back saying that they knew all along.  They were aware of the problems and want to make it as easy on you as possible.

Then you get to suck.

Because a part of you is glad that they take all your needs into consideration.  You’re thankful for the kindness that it takes to be that knowledgeable.

But at the same time you feel icky.  Because you know that people probably had a conversation abut how to make things work for you.  Somewhere there’s a piece of paper (or a stack) about you and how you don’t do things. At one point a person had to decide to make the offer to you.

They felt it was more likely that you would agree than not-agree.

Then I will swallow all those GAK! feelings and take their offer with the gratitude deserved.

And I will say thank you.

And mean it.

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13 Responses to when you know you suck but you can’t really help it

  1. Cort July 22, 2010 at 9:31 PM #

    You are worth the stack of papers or the note in the margin. Whatever it takes to get you where you need to go! It sucks that “it” has to be said. That the note isn’t already there. But as you recover, you’ll be happy that the note doesn’t automatically come attached to your name. You’ll be grateful that the “theys” out there aren’t assuming you need concessions made. Yes, for now you need the help – but soon you’ll be skipping on past the ramps and wheelchair slots in the audience.

    Until then be proud of yourself for getting out and needing concessions made for you! You have a steeper hill to climb than they. Let them help!

    Cort´s last post…Drip- drip – momma sap

  2. BecZhang July 22, 2010 at 9:21 PM #

    I can not imagine the things that you have to face daily. I know that I would not be as awesome as you are about dealing with the crap and expressing myself.

    BecZhang´s last post…im taking my p-u-d-d-i-n-g and moving to europe

  3. Amy Louise July 22, 2010 at 10:29 AM #

    Everyone on this planet sucks on some level. When offers are made there are conversations regarding every person. I would much rather work with an intelligent person with a sense of humor who just happens to be in a wheelchair than a mean person with no people skills who gets everywhere on two legs.

    I can’t imagine what you are going through, but be easier on yourself you still have MUCH to offer the world and MANY people see it.

  4. Melinda July 22, 2010 at 9:55 AM #

    *huggles and snuggles*

  5. Desera July 22, 2010 at 9:13 AM #

    Not only do you deserve it, but if they are making it work for you…they must have really wanted you to do it. You are SO worth the extra effort and they obviously saw that and did what they needed to do to make it work for you!

  6. Barnmaven July 22, 2010 at 8:29 AM #

    Its hard sometimes to realize people are discussing you, even when it means they’re discussing you in love with wonderful intentions.

    I’m glad you’re getting something good. I don’t know what it is, but I’m glad.

    Barnmaven´s last post…Nobodys Perfect

  7. mumby July 22, 2010 at 7:25 AM #

    everyone has some special need or request. That’s not sucking! Just think of yourself as a rockstar and consider it your “Rider’. “Accomodate my chair and I require a dish of Resses Pieces with the yellow ones removed.” Yeah… that’s a good idea, actually…

  8. colleen July 22, 2010 at 1:01 AM #

    If the roles were reversed, would you mind? It is so hard to receive and so easy to give.

  9. Angella July 22, 2010 at 12:58 AM #

    Oh, sweetie. I am going to hug you so hard in New York. Loving the you.

  10. Lucretia Pruitt July 22, 2010 at 12:36 AM #

    Dude. You don’t suck. The situation sucks.
    It’s nice that they realize that no matter what your “needs” are right now? Your talent, wit, and awesomeness are more than worth making it work! :)

    Lucretia Pruitt´s last post…You’re Doing It Right – vol 2

  11. pgoodness July 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM #

    Accepting help has always been very hard for me – when people came out of the woodwork to help me after my melanoma diagnosis and surgeries, I finally started to learn how to accept it. I say started to because I still fight it, but I’m learning.

    All that to say, it’s hard, but you’re doing it and doing it well.

  12. laurie July 22, 2010 at 12:00 AM #

    Or you can think, “Thank you. I deserve this. It’s about effing time.”

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