Archive | August, 2010

this is the where i bang my head against the wall

Frustration. I’m knee-deep in it. I have these ideas. I explained it to someone as being the point in time when I work on scraps of paper. It’s hard to describe. Difficult to define. I want to draw a picture.  It looks like soup.  Thhhhhhat’s not right. So I’m stuck trying to make others see [...]

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just think, the name could be “snot and farts”

There wasn’t much that went into the name Free Anissa. A long time ago my Twitter account got suspended because it got hacked and they thought I was a spammer. I asked a few friends to tweet that I wasn’t a spammer, and……yeah. Let’s just say the hashtag #freeAnissa started out with no deeper meaning [...]

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I really need a different posse

Let’s get a few thing straightened out.  Everything may not be totally clear. I have three therapists at Pathways, which is a part of the Shepherd Center, where I do my outpatient therapy. Physical therapy – done by Beth, this deals with my walking, transferring,  lower extremities, getting up when I fall, pool exercise and [...]

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making a deal i can keep

It’s not very often that someone will ask a question and I know the answer to it. I’m usually asking the kids answers to questions about square roots and wind velocity. But I happen to know this inside out. Sort of depressing, but I do know it. Peyton’s cancer. She’s finished her second year post-treatment [...]

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lesson 1: how to laugh

People have asked, “How can you still laugh?” To be honest, I understand the question very well. It would be just too easy to let it all take over.  To give in.  Give up. It is a slow, baby-stepping, small-improvement, thankful-for-every-tiny-thing kind of thing. And I laugh. Maybe some don’t, but I have to. I [...]

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falling up

Today I laid on the floor.  On purpose. With a goal. One of my biggest fears is falling. From beds.  Chairs.  Tranfers. That old joke is true.  It’s not the fall, it’s the landing. So today at physical therapy I told them to teach me how to get up. Not that I fall a lot. [...]

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having your priorities totally screwed

Florida holds most of all I hold dear. Many years I lived in Daytona Beach.  Then I resided with my family in Tampa for years. Two very different areas. Two very different experiences. My parents live there. My best friend. My next best friend. The person I could call on a Sunday night if I [...]

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vlogging is serious business

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i could totally have had a V-8

Today I let someone hurt me. In the same room as my husband, a room away from my kids. I gritted my teeth and endured. There were a lot of tears. My hand that was good curled into a ball I didn’t realize until it was finally done. And I thought about the things I [...]

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leaping over and over

Sometimes you forget how long you were gone. Then you find music is no longer popular.  Shows you were watching were canceled. Things that used to be are no more. In ways it can be really good. REALLY good. In others, you can just feel left behind. Your kids, the mortgage, life. It all goes [...]

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i shower therefore i vlog

Vlog – cell phone from Anissa Mayhew on Vimeo.

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the dream time

It was hard to explain how real my dreams felt. The coma-stage feelings were very hard to shake. There was whole series of dreams where I was in my bed but I watched those around me watching baseball. Baseball. My reality seemed to be watching the people I loved move around me and talk while [...]

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