It’s hard when I’m watching my friends make plans and I know I can’t go. Not because of cost or convenience (although those are always issues) but because of what I can and can’t do.
I worry about about being the party pooper. Being the one to one to ruin plans. Or to bring worry where it’s not needed or wanted. The music’s too loud. The lights are too dim. I can’t enjoy things the way I used to.
My mind still does.
But my body doesn’t.
I want to celebrate.
I get happy too.
Sometimes this girl just wants to have fun.
And finds that fun doesn’t always want me.
There are times that to be a good friend I’ll just send flowers and stay home.