every day is a fresh start, sort of like a summer’s eve

In my first days home from the hospital I had to get used to being in this space.

It was a much different time in my life.

I had to learn to feel safe again. I had to learn that there was a place I could stage my battle with my body.  I had to learn that I was home and there was no one that could take me away.

Sometimes there were people in this place.

People who helped me face the scary dark that was my most recent past. With the brightness of laughter.  Light of understanding. The sunshine of future accomplishments.

My dark past was over.

The new me was able to hear children play.

The new me slept in a bed without safety bars.

The old me went to the window and saw sunshine, the new me was able to go out and bask in it.

Back in a day when there was less progress than there is now.  I could begin to see the faintest of the beginnings in the making.

It was a day of the past.

It’s always the first day of tomorrow.

Like I have done before, I start again.

Like I do every day.

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19 Responses to every day is a fresh start, sort of like a summer’s eve

  1. Susan from PA August 2, 2010 at 11:01 PM #

    Anissa, I am the lurker who has followed you since Peyton was sick. I read about your progress every day, and consider you a person I would really love to meet…someday. I prayed for you, a stranger in real life, when you had your stokes. You have inspired me and amazed me in the days and months to follow. I comment infrequently. But now I read your words with new eyes. A friend of mine had a very serious stroke last week. She has had two surgeries so far and is still in very critical shape. She is 43 years old, with three children, 15, 10, and 5. Two I have taught in school. She is an amazing mom and friend. Her husband, an amazing and loving man. Her future is uncertain at best, but somehow I know she can pull through this, because if you did, she can too. I want to thank you for this. I hope to use your story to help as I figure out what I can do to help. This has shocked our community to the core, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel like she may get through this, because I have read what you have done. Thank you for this.
    Thank you.
    And BTW…you continue to crack me up, and amaze me :) Keep inspiring us all!

    • Peter Mayhew August 3, 2010 at 10:23 AM #

      I’d be more than willing to help your friend’s husband if I can. Email me please.

  2. ThePeachy1 August 2, 2010 at 4:30 PM #

    You know as you laid there sleepping. I made a promise to you, I said you will get up you will wake up and as you improve I will decline and we will meet in the middle and have sexy matching steven hawking chairs. But you screwed the pooch. You got so much better so much faster than I got worse. So instead we could cook together, go places together and have fun together.. So i am going to cancel the pimped out double matching hawking chairs.. I have one on order for me, for a long long time from now, and if you should need it later, like jewelry or somethin you van borrow it after I am done with it. Plus iit’s safe for me to write this since I am way out of pillow smacking distance.

  3. vodkamom August 2, 2010 at 2:41 PM #

    I am completely in awe of you. You have inspired us, lifted us, and given us hope.

    With each day may the sun shine upon you, and those you love.

    vodkamom´s last post…Meet my new bff- Ming Wang!

  4. Jenny, Bloggess August 2, 2010 at 1:02 PM #


  5. Jessica August 2, 2010 at 12:46 PM #

    The distance you’ve come is shocking and awe inspiring. And the distance you are still going to go will blast through all the achievements you’ve made so far. I know you are recovering because you have to – for your family, yourself, and for God. And I am grateful to be on that ride with you. I can’t wait for the book. And the movie. And they will be here in the future too. Just like walking, and typing two handed and driving a car and clothes shopping becoming recreational again. All of that is in your future.

  6. Musings of a Housewife August 2, 2010 at 8:46 AM #

    I was convicted by Tug’s comment. Likewise, I often read and don’t comment because I don’t always know what to say, but yes. I’m here, like so many others, silently cheering you on. I always remember that late night dinner at Blissdom 09 when we met, and we laughed for hours. Such a great memory. I hope I run into you at BlogHer and get to hug your neck!

  7. Kristin August 2, 2010 at 1:08 AM #

    It was a day of the past.
    It’s always the first day of tomorrow.
    Like I have done before, I start again.
    Like I do every day.

    I think this is something we should all keep in mind. You are an incredible woman Anissa and I’m damned glad you stuck around.

    Kristin´s last post…Three Awesome Giveaways

  8. Tug August 1, 2010 at 10:44 PM #

    I don’t comment much anywhere any more, but I do read. Every day. YOU are such an inspiration I cannot find the words… Please know that there are (I’m sure of it) so many more like me. Not commenting. Cheering you on, and totally inspired by you. YOU? So totally rawk!! Many many prayers are being said for you, each & every day.

    Tug´s last post…Columbine

  9. Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos August 1, 2010 at 10:39 PM #

    You are amazing Anissa!

    And the title to this post is hilarious :)

    Michelle @ Mommy Loves Stilettos´s last post…A Birthday Vlog -

  10. Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing] August 1, 2010 at 10:36 PM #

    You’re amazing in the sunshine and under the fluorescents.

  11. Susie August 1, 2010 at 10:25 PM #

    Your writing is so powerful today, Anissa, I had to read it 2-3 times. The first day of tomorrow? So awesome and only five words…

  12. Erin August 1, 2010 at 10:00 PM #

    I feel like your recovery and all of your these grand accomplishments that you’re making are like a beautiful sunset that you just can’t take your eyes off of…because you know it’s just going to get better and better.

    It’s the amazement of not knowing what you’re going to do next, show next, teach next, or otherwise share next that just captures me…because you just keep pulling new tricks out of your hat and being this super friggen awesome person and I’m like..WHOA!

    In every small piece of your life you manage to find what needs to be said, and make sure the important things shine through. Through all of the hard stuff, you always seem to come back to seeing the beauty and the good in life…

    The best part though? I know that this sunset of recovery awesome mirrors a real sunset…and I know it’s just the beginning of so much more beauty, wonder and awe to come…and I can’t wait to read all about it!

    I feel like I’m learning so much about people, about how to be the person I want to be and how to figure out and balance the important things in life from reading (and re-reading) your blog posts. Hrm. That made me sound kind of creepy. I swear I’m not a stalker. For Real. I’m simply using your blog as a learning know..for life. ;)

    Erin´s last post…Le Sigh

  13. Desera August 1, 2010 at 9:14 PM #

    Well said Anissa! As usual you’re tugging at my heartstrings. I love everything about you and your family! You will get there….I’m sure of it! ♥

  14. Kelly August 1, 2010 at 8:55 PM #

    I have followed for awhile, but never written. You inspire me everyday. Your sense of humor and outlook are unique and amazing . You are strong and will conquer this. Thank you for continuing to write :) stay strong!

  15. Angela August 1, 2010 at 8:49 PM #

    I am a lurker and just wanted to say…I love ALL that you write. As a person with chronic pain, I appreciate the authenticity of your writing about the good times and the bad.
    p.s. I don’t know where my mind was, but when I read the title of your post, I was thinking it was going to go in a totally different direction!

  16. Hamlet's Mistress August 1, 2010 at 8:30 PM #

    Keep on keppin’ on, Anissa! I’m rooting for you every day.


    Hamlet’s Mistress´s last post…Ten reasons our home is just a starter…

  17. Hollee August 1, 2010 at 8:29 PM #

    You have inspired me since I first heard about your story and struggles, Anissa. I am so glad that you are making such strides, and I really hope to meet you in person someday. Thank you for sharing.

    Hollee´s last post…Why It’s Good for Kids to See You Mess Up

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