Today I let someone hurt me.
In the same room as my husband, a room away from my kids.
I gritted my teeth and endured.
There were a lot of tears.
My hand that was good curled into a ball I didn’t realize until it was finally done.
And I thought about the things I could have been doing.
Walks I could have taken.
Games I could have played.
Things I could have done with no wheelchair.
Stuff that can be done with two hands.
Things I’m determined to do again.
If I was satisfied I wouldn’t put myself through this.
I wipe the tears.
I blow my nose.
I think of a future where all the pain is worthwhile.