just think, the name could be “snot and farts”

There wasn’t much that went into the name Free Anissa.

A long time ago my Twitter account got suspended because it got hacked and they thought I was a spammer. I asked a few friends to tweet that I wasn’t a spammer, and……yeah.

Let’s just say the hashtag #freeAnissa started out with no deeper meaning than that.

But the Free Anissa started to grow on me.

As I was getting ready to retire my Hope4Peyton site, the word “FREE” took on new meaning.

Free from chemo, free from pills, free from living under the cloud, free from cancer.

But it also had other meanings.

Free to talk about the things important to me, free to discuss nothing at all, free to admire shoes if I wanted.

I felt the free in unique ways.

I wasn’t sure I was supposed to feel “free”.

Ever.

Then I had strokes.

And spent time in the hospital.

Eventually, I came home.

To more work than I have ever known.

The name Free Anissa took on a whole new definition.

What was I trying to be free from this time?

Expectations.  Limitations. Boundaries. Weaknesses.

Things my body can’t do.  Yet.

Fear.

Free.

So close.

A world apart.

I will be be free one day.

My name is Anissa.

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14 Responses to just think, the name could be “snot and farts”

  1. Jen Guarino September 3, 2010 at 12:05 AM #

    Anissa – so we have never met so I hope you hear what my brain is thinking. You may not feel free….far from it. But you are so much more free than so many people. You give smiles, laughs, hope and so much more to many, many people that check on you week after week. Like Me. Thank you for being free enough to say what is on your mind, even when it sucks.

  2. Sarah Feakes September 2, 2010 at 12:01 PM #

    You make me feel blessed that I know you, your words inspire me and make me think about this life we are all living. Words can have such deep meaning thank you for all of yours!

  3. Deb Rox September 1, 2010 at 10:12 AM #

    So good! Magic happens–a hashtag becomes a mantra, why not?

  4. Mandi Bone August 31, 2010 at 5:41 PM #

    Damn it! I have been reading because I thought it meant you showed your boobs for free.

    Mandi Bone´s last post…Shut the Fck Up

  5. Headless Mom August 31, 2010 at 5:28 PM #

    You are so damn strong. I want to be Anissa when I grow up. ;-)

  6. mommabird2345 August 31, 2010 at 3:14 PM #

    You are an amazing writer. I loved this post.

  7. Shana Dumblond August 31, 2010 at 11:01 AM #

    If you would have gone with “snot and farts”, you probably would have had a whole different kind of person reading this blog.
    I cheer for your ultimate freedom every day!

  8. daysgoby August 31, 2010 at 8:01 AM #

    Oh, honey, you SOAR already….

    daysgoby´s last post…a few from the road

  9. Annie Y August 31, 2010 at 12:54 AM #

    Amazing post Anissa!
    I believe that you WILL be FREE!

    Annie Y´s last post…Emotional Wreck

  10. Tara August 30, 2010 at 10:30 PM #

    You will be free and in so many ways you already ARE free. Many of us would kill for your mental clarity, your determination, your humor. I don’t know what else to say except that you’re an inspiration and I hope you get every ounce of freedom you’re owed. Hugs. High fives. Fist bumps. You get the idea; you’re awesome.

    Tara´s last post…He Was Sick- I Am His Mother

  11. Kristine (Mommy Needs Therapy) August 30, 2010 at 10:28 PM #

    Oh honey, you are more “free” than so many people I know! Both before and after all this stroke craziness. Although I do think you could change the blog name to “Free Anissa the Amazing.” I suppose if you wanted to add “farter” after that we’d take you at your word. The “amazing” part I need no confirmation of.

    Kristine (Mommy Needs Therapy)´s last post…Its all in the timing And the ability to hide behind the pillows!

  12. Mary Beth August 30, 2010 at 9:58 PM #

    Love this.

    I believe these words to be true: ‘I will be be free one day.’

  13. Cort August 30, 2010 at 9:37 PM #

    Very sweet.

    Cort´s last post…In Bed

  14. Meredith @lifescrazyjoke August 30, 2010 at 9:37 PM #

    The title to this post is awesome. And I am glad it’s Free Anissa. I have been tracking your progress through a mutual friend. I’ve prayed for you along with a million other people. We’ve cheered for you and we all lift you up. You will be FREE. Because you’re Anissa, and we that’s the way it’s supposed to be.

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