It was hard to explain how real my dreams felt.
The coma-stage feelings were very hard to shake.
There was whole series of dreams where I was in my bed but I watched those around me watching baseball.
Baseball.
My reality seemed to be watching the people I loved move around me and talk while involved in some sort of baseball.
I remember them clearly, in and out of scenes. Some speaking slowly, some giving me a bath, some making me move. Always the same bed. Always the same view. Always the same sport.
Recently, I was able to share those dreams with someone close.
The room was right.
The windows were right.
There was a mirror where my dreams remembered.
The closets were even right.
I was asleep during this time.
But little parts of me were never ready to let go.
My sister who was in a coma at the same time you were tells me that she was dreaming of being at a restaurant with white table clothes looking over the ocean but her best friend and I were being loud and boorish and disturbing the other people in the resturant. She was trying to quiet us. That was the day she really started to come out of the coma. In reality we were just talking to her and about her at her bedside.
Pleasure to meet you at blog her.
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Years and years ago, I had a friend who was in a coma for 10 days (horseback riding accident) and when she woke up, she said she could hear everything that was said–when she was in a coma– but no matter how hard she tried could never respond.
Your writing is so poignant, Anissa…
I love how easily miracles can be shrouded by the mundane.
That’s so weird and cool and wow. I actually wrote a post about you, from what I imagined your perspective was – I wrote it anonymously, I didn’t mention your name – and yet the people also involved in this writing assignment KNEW I was writing about you – and agreed with my assessment. If you’d like, I’ll send you the link.
Thank you for telling us about your view. We’re ALL so glad to hear it!
The mind is a fascinating organ. Baseball. That’s a WHOLE different picture than I would have thought. Huh.
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How American of you! I guess if it were me, it would have been hockey.
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I am an ICU RN that has followed your story since the beginning. It’s always interesting to me to hear what patients remember from the times we have them in a comatose state. I had a patient last year with swine flu that was intubated and sedated while on a special be that was able to turn him 360 degrees to keep his lungs working. He survived and came back to tell us he doesn’t remember the ICU per se (sp?) but remembers dreaming he was stuck in a bathtub and couldn’t get out. These beds resemble a bath tub somewhat and you are strapped into them. I wonder if your family and the nurses had baseball on in you room during your stay?
I remember when I was taking my EMT-Paramedic classes, they told us to never say something around a comatose patient that we didn’t want them to hear because there are tons of stories about people waking up and asking questions about things that were said while they were comatose. It’s kind of cool and a little odd to hear it from a first person perspective.
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It is so great that you share this with us. Thanks..:)
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Mother-in-law was in a near-comatose state for many weeks. There was NO convincing her that she didn’t get up out of that bed and go hang out at her old house. With the nurses, of course. They were always present. Along with her grown sons. (In the dreams, they were always just boys.)
It took a long time to convince her that that never happened. Recently I’ve begun wondering if we should have just let it lie, let her have those dreams as truth.
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WOW! Just wow, you are amazing! ♥
I’ve never heard two people who have described that experience the same way. I don’t know that I ever will… and oddly, I’ve known many more than I should.
Baseball huh? Glad our team won – we couldn’t stand losing you lady.
*mwah*
love, this sounds like it’s all part of the recovery, which means your making huge monumental progress. Have I told you lately how much I’m proud of you, and that it was the highlight of my trip to squeeze you in NYC? Because it was.
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undoubtedly the best game I ever played, even if I only rode the bench. I love you
I always wondered what it was you were thinking about… what you saw… how much you would recall. So baseball, huh?
Love you, woman!
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