failing the test

“Don’t stress out, just answer what you can and don’t worry about the rest.”

I sat at the desk with the booklet spread out.

The timer was set for each question.

I couldn’t think of actresses with red hair.

Or animals you find in a barn.

It was beyond me to come up fruits too.

Then they wanted me to match things.  That had no business being matched. But I couldn’t do what they wanted.

I got frustrated.

I got so scared at my inability to make my brain work.

I cried.

They had to stop the testing process so I could weep and feel stupid.

I knew I couldn’t think of the answers.

The timer sounded like a gong in my ears, telling me I was running out of time.

I’m sure that some people have nightmares of boogeymen and creaking hallways.

My nightmares have ticking clocks and questions I can’t answer.

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27 Responses to failing the test

  1. britni September 18, 2010 at 6:23 PM #

    You must be doing great, because that first question totally stumped me, too. Seriously, I’m terrible at pop culture. That would have made me freeze up any day of the week.

    britni´s last post…On words and phrases

  2. The Pony Lady September 15, 2010 at 3:51 PM #

    Why do you need to know what animals live in a barn? Isn’t that what I’m here for?

  3. Susie September 14, 2010 at 11:17 PM #

    You don’t need to remember “actresses with red hair” or which animals in a barn, Anissa. All you need to remember is that YOU are a miracle, and sometimes–although we wish it could be instantaneous–miracles take time to unfold.
    I can only guess at your frustration with a freakin’ timer ticking away. This reminds me of when my mom had a stroke. She was in the hospital and every morning a doctor would come in and ask her what day it was. He only gave her a couple seconds to answer. After a couple days, my mom was smart enough to realize the question was coming and right before the doctor’s appearance, she’d say (to a friend): “Quick, tell me what day it is!”
    I loved that my mom was still my mom and still had her sense of humor. You write nearly every day on your blog, Anissa. Your exquisite writing shows YOU are still YOU. Now go get tomorrow…

  4. IzzyMom September 14, 2010 at 9:39 PM #

    Dude, I know my brainfarts aren’t even remotely the same but I go to speak sometimes and I can’t think of the words I want, let alone get them out of my mouth. True story. Point is, I’m capable in a million other ways that matter way more and so are you, as evidenced by your writing and seeing you in person in August. It hasn’t even been a year and you’re defying all those doctors every single day. Hang in there…thousands of people are rooting for you —you can AND WILL get there,

    IzzyMom´s last post…I Think I Need a Life Coach or a Drill Sergeant

  5. justirish September 14, 2010 at 9:13 PM #

    I believe in you!

    justirish´s last post…everyoneblog

  6. midgetinvasion September 14, 2010 at 5:10 PM #

    I’ve been playing Sporcle a lot lately, and those are timed. I bomb badly at easy stuff all the time on there. The other day, one of the questions was “Name a president that starts with the letter O.” I sat there for a good while, panicking and watching the clock tick down, until I thought of it at the last minute.

    And I have had ANY strokes.

    midgetinvasion´s last post…A Difficult Subject

  7. Molly September 14, 2010 at 5:09 PM #

    There is nothing like a time to push me over the edge. But I agree with an earlier comment, you remembered the questions. How often in life do we really get asked a question and told we only have 30 seconds to respond? Well unless we are on a gameshow, almost never.

    Molly´s last post…Curse you Keith Morrison

  8. What-I-Found September 14, 2010 at 5:02 PM #

    And just how often does it come up in real adult life what animals live in a barn? I have not been asked that once since I was five.
    Dumb test.

    What-I-Found´s last post…Oh dearwhat can the matter be

  9. moosh in indy. September 14, 2010 at 5:02 PM #

    To be fair…there’s quite a few redheaded actresses who belong in barns…

    I will always remember you and the rice. I know you were always frustrated by it…but I never loved you any less. Rice, matching, math. It doesn’t matter to me.

  10. Mom September 14, 2010 at 9:22 AM #

    But you remembered the questions.

  11. Mary September 14, 2010 at 8:53 AM #

    Nothing like a little frustration to make your day wonderful. :/

    Mary´s last post…Reparations

  12. The Lass September 14, 2010 at 5:54 AM #

    Timers suck. Badly. As do tests like this one, for that matter. You are here and you amaze me with every single blog or vlog entry. Big Hugs!

  13. Lori September 14, 2010 at 4:25 AM #

    Your brain most definitely works. You can write impressive blog posts!

  14. Jessica September 14, 2010 at 2:46 AM #

    That actress with red hair is a total trick question. Do they mean naturally red hair? Do they mean the hair on her head or the hair somewhere else? And what with all that waxing and everything who knows what hair is where and what color it is. I think that question really is more the essay type question – heck, I could write a thesis about it. And yes, all I came up with was Susan Sarandon and I can’t spell her name right and I’m SURE she’s not a natural redhead. Well, as sure as I can be. What a bitch of a test!

  15. Linda Kish September 14, 2010 at 12:11 AM #

    I am impressed with your progress. And in your vlog’s I see changes each time. You are doing terrific. I didn’t know you until your strokes and love how you continue your blog and share your progress with everyone.

  16. Kristin September 13, 2010 at 11:59 PM #

    Damn sweetie, you named a few questions I would have frozen up on. An actress with red hair?!?!?!? No way I would have been able to answer that.

    {{{Hugs}}}

    Kristin´s last post…Blessed are the atheists

  17. Ann September 13, 2010 at 11:58 PM #

    I’m just trying to connect actresses’ names and animals with higher order thinking. If any pop culture is involved I am in trouble!

    Ann´s last post…Birthday prep in 24 hours or less

  18. Heidi September 13, 2010 at 11:17 PM #

    “Don’t stress out, just answer what you can and don’t worry about the rest.”

    Hell, with an intro like that, they were just setting you up to stress and worry! Actresses with red hair? I can picture three right now – but I can’t think of a single name!

  19. Midwest Mommy September 13, 2010 at 11:12 PM #

    I honestly couldn’t answer the red haired question one either.

  20. Amy September 13, 2010 at 11:06 PM #

    Wait… do any actresses have red hair?

  21. Christina September 13, 2010 at 10:59 PM #

    They asked me to recite the days of the week for a sound check last week(interview) I looked at the dude blankly.

    Christina´s last post…Getting things done

  22. Lisa September 13, 2010 at 10:54 PM #

    A TIMER? Seriously? When in real life do you have to think of the names of stuff while listening to a timer?? Sometimes it takes me an hour, a day, a WEEK to come up with words or names for people or things. And no stroke here. Just a busy mom brain with only so much space on the hard drive. You’ll remember it all in your own sweet time. Geesh. A TIMER!!

  23. mommabird2345 September 13, 2010 at 10:39 PM #

    Tests suck.
    *HUGS*

  24. Diana, The Doggy Mommy September 13, 2010 at 10:32 PM #

    Everybody freaks out when there is a timer set! I know how frustrated you are. My Dad had a stroke 3 years ago, the worst he suffered was the part about making the brain work.

    Your brain is working better than mine girlfriend! Your back at what you do best and even though to me it looks effortless, I know it’s a struggle. The good news, thank God you are here! Who gives a fuck if you can remember barn animals or red hair. We have you! You have your family and you are living and breathing this wonderful life GOD granted you!!!

    I love you and I have never met you, I admire you want to be like you when I grow up. Your ok, love what you have! XOXOXO

    Diana, The Doggy Mommy´s last post…A GREAT STORY WITH NO WORDS

  25. Laurita Olmstead September 13, 2010 at 10:31 PM #

    God will bring the answers in time, just don’t give up think that He is in the Miracle making business. He is in control of all and that we must keep believing that in His time we will be completely whole.

  26. jenn September 13, 2010 at 10:30 PM #

    much love. i dont believe in timers, they should be thrown out the window!!

  27. Karalyn September 13, 2010 at 10:29 PM #

    Love you Anissa!!! Wish I could give you a big hug right now!

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