leaving the hospital

We had packed my bags and said goodbyes.

I had a cart with my stuff piled high.

I had been here a long time.

This was the day I had waited for.  Had worked for.  Had dreamed of.  If the meds would let me dream.

I was ready to leave the hospital.

I got in the car to go home after saying goodbye to my special nurse.

It seemed right that the nurse that had my first shift also had my last.

We left.

The place that had been safe for weeks.

It became home.

Where they made me feel like I could do something.

I was ready to leave.

I was going home.

A place I hadn’t been in months.

It was going to feel weird

I wasn’t the person I was when I left my home.

When I traded shopping for fighting.

And I feel like I’ve never stopped.

(Fighting not shopping)

The fight changes but never quits.

I’m still fighting.

I will be for a long time.

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13 Responses to leaving the hospital

  1. Susie September 4, 2010 at 3:55 AM #

    “It’s up to you with what you do today. Your priorities, your daily agenda will determine how successful you are.” …”It matters how you’re gonna finish. Are you gonna finish strong?”
    -Nick Vujicic (“No arms, no legs, no worries”)

    When I think of never-ending perseverance and inner strength that has no bounds, I think of you, Anissa. Now go get tomorrow!

  2. Jessica September 3, 2010 at 3:27 PM #

    And for every one of us who comments there must be 100′s who don’t but care tremendously about your fight. We can’t fight it for you but we can pray and encourage and hope and celebrate. When you walk. When you drive. When you pick up your children with both arms and swing them around. All the stuff you’re going to do one day pretty soon. We believe in you.

    • kate September 6, 2010 at 2:50 PM #

      So, so well said.

      Hugs, Anissa! And exactly what Jessica said!!!

  3. mommabird2345 September 2, 2010 at 11:48 PM #

    You are an awesome fighter. There’s no stopping you. You rock!!

  4. Lady Beausaphine September 2, 2010 at 11:47 PM #

    I’ve been silently reading you for ages (I’m kinda creepy like that) and I just wanted to say you are seriously badass and beautiful.

    You’re going to continue to kick the crap out of the obstacles in front of you and I know you know we are all right behind you. We are cheering your every success and virtually hugging you when you need it.

    I’m totally sending you bloglove right now and I hope that going back home is going as smoothly (or at least as smooth as anything can in the Real Word).

    You deserve to be happy.

    Lady Beausaphine´s last post…I like to pretend I’m french

  5. Kathy September 2, 2010 at 11:24 PM #

    To borrow a motto from a local breast cancer center, FIGHT LIKE A GIRL, ANISSA, FIGHT LIKE A GIRL! You CAN do this.

  6. Heidi September 2, 2010 at 11:04 PM #

    Anissa, if you shop like you fight, then NOBODY in their right mind will get between you and whatever you want at a day-after-Thanksgiving-sale! :)

  7. Janine (@twincident) September 2, 2010 at 10:13 PM #

    I think it’s particularly hard because your family has already had a very large, and overwhelming fight. Now you have another. If you look too far into the future it’s scary. So just look to tomorrow. Do the next right thing. Fight the fight. One day at a time.

  8. Kristin September 2, 2010 at 10:08 PM #

    I know I can’t fight the fight for you but I’m here to support you in any way I can.

    Kristin´s last post…Is this my last first

  9. Hamlet's Mistress September 2, 2010 at 9:46 PM #

    I don’t know anyone I would think would win that fight more than you. In these past eight months I got to see the strength of your family, of your husband and now of you. You all are resilient, you are all steadfast and you, Anissa, on your worst days you’re amazing and on your best days… you’re unstoppable.

    You will win this fight, because I believe you don’t know how to lose.

    HM

    Hamlet’s Mistress´s last post…Who has the time

  10. Heather in Ga September 2, 2010 at 9:40 PM #

    Never, never-ever give up the fight! It’s worth it.

  11. Melissa September 2, 2010 at 9:36 PM #

    And you will get there!

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