sometimes it’s what i need to do

Yesterday was one of those days.

You know, THOSE days.

The ones where nothing seems right and everything has a side of wrong with it.

I went through countless mini-travel-size packages of Kleenex

Ok.  You can count them. I went through six.

SIX!

I made with the feeling sorry for myself.

I made it hard.

I would bet that few have made it harder.

I just let tears take me for every little thing.

Things I wanted to do.

Things I knew I couldn’t.

The color of Barbie’s dress on the fourth doll on the fifth shelf.

The way the caps were turned on the pens.

Bananas were on sale.

I cried about everything.

I just felt useless.

I truly felt that if THIS was going to be the way the way I’d the way I’d be for the rest of my life, WHY?

Why did I keep going?

Why did I keep trying.

Why did I keep fighting when I was so stinking tired of the fight?

Then I went to sleep.

And I woke up this morning.

I want to say it was all better and fixed.

But at least I was renewed and ready to fight again.

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11 Responses to sometimes it’s what i need to do

  1. little big September 19, 2010 at 3:56 PM #

    I’ve had my share of health problems and I’ve had my share of bad days. It’s nothing compared to your struggles and the health problems you’re working through, but I totally understand those days when you just want to give up and everything’s terrible. And I COMPLETELY understand the feeling of getting up the next day ready to fight. Not happy, but at the very least, equal to the task.

    little big´s last post…Pretty Pictures- Orchids

  2. Kellee September 19, 2010 at 10:56 AM #

    Sometimes letting all those tears and feelings out are exactly what we need to do to renew our strength and allow us to keep going. I’m sorry you had one of those days, but I hope it clears the way for you for a little while.

    Kellee´s last post…Wordless Wednesday Ooops- an Update Instead

  3. Shawna September 18, 2010 at 8:15 PM #

    I read a study a long time ago about the physiological benefits of crying. Largely in that it helps to remove some basic toxics from the body. Sometimes, it’s ok to let the SUCKINESS OF IT ALL just take over. Tomorrow is a new day (and good sleep works wonders for the soul).

    Shawna´s last post…Renovations

  4. Susie September 18, 2010 at 7:10 PM #

    The sun’ll come out
    Tomorrow
    Bet your bottom dollar
    That tomorrow
    There’ll be sun!
    Just thinkin’ about
    Tomorrow
    Clears away the cobwebs,
    And the sorrow
    ‘Til there’s none!

    When I’m stuck with a day
    That’s gray,
    And lonely,
    I just stick out my chin
    And Grin,
    And Say,
    Oh!
    The sun’ll come out
    Tomorrow
    So ya gotta hang on
    ‘Til tomorrow
    Come what may
    Tomorrow! Tomorrow!
    I love ya Tomorrow!
    You’re always
    A day
    Away!

    Anissa, you rock. Today. Tomorrow. And always. Now go get tomorrow…

  5. Susie September 18, 2010 at 7:05 PM #

    Listen to me! There’s nothin’ wrong with tears, Anissa. Nothin’ at all my friend! I cried last night too! And only got 1 hour of sleep. Too much thinking, that was my problem. But you beat me on the # of Kleenex. Go you! Then I woke up and spent all day in real estate negotiations and made an offer on a house. Just me. Without my late husband. I’m scared sh*tless, but I did it anyway.

    I love musical plays. Here’s one of my favs: It always helps me see that yep, tomorrow will be better. It will appear in the next box so it all fits…

  6. britni September 18, 2010 at 6:17 PM #

    I know it sometimes feel like Teh Sad will never end, but it will eventually fade and there will be sunshine again. Like Kristin said, maybe there is something in the air? I was feeling it too. Hugs :)

  7. Adrienne September 18, 2010 at 5:32 PM #

    Hell, yeah. I hear you. The dark parts fucking suck. I hope it’s bright again soon.

  8. pgoodness September 18, 2010 at 12:34 PM #

    It’s what we ALL need to do sometimes, my friend. We all have days like that – glad the morning made it seem a bit brighter. :)

  9. Suzy September 18, 2010 at 12:27 PM #

    Since 2003 I’ve had 3 surgeries. The last two have made it impossible to use my left arm freely, back up my car into my parking space (I had to move spots) put clothes on over my head without pain, get in and out of my car in less than 2 minutes, walk down stairs like regular people do and the list goes on and on.

    I don’t look like I’m in bad shape but mentally I’m kinda whipped. It’s not like I was a long-distance runner or equestrian but it just pisses me off that things I took for granted are no longer an option for me.

    And no, I didn’t have a stroke and am not comparing my plight to yours in any way. But I know from the tears. I know from the “Why?” Don’t give up hope. You have that wonderful husband and those 3 adorable kids.

    I’m afraid I’ll go on a date and the guy will take me somewhere where we have to WALK DOWN STAIRS.

    Suzy´s last post…Its Everybody Can Bite Me Friday!

  10. Diana, The Doggy Mommy September 18, 2010 at 12:48 AM #

    Nothing like a great big old BOO HOO to cleanse the soul! Works every time! XOXO

    Diana, The Doggy Mommy´s last post…How I Felt When My Baby Lost His Eye!

  11. Kristin September 17, 2010 at 10:45 PM #

    I think it was something in the air yesterday. Admittedly, it was about very different things but yesterday sucked around here too. Lots of {{{hugs}}} and I hope today was much better.

    Kristin´s last post…Goodies Galore

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