I cried tonight.
My girls circled me with concern because they aren’t used to Mommy’s tears.
My husband was more worried because he was.
I’d been using a balance ball to exercise. With Peter helping me by giving me directions. Things to do to stretch my muscles. Ways to move the unmovable.
Suddenly, it felt like too much.
I felt it starting to shake.
I made the transfer back to my wheelchair. Then, the weeping started.
I felt weak.
I felt broken.
I felt less.
I knew I was stronger than I was months ago. There wasn’t a limit to how often I could work. I set my own goals as something to be broken.
But as the tears I couldn’t feel rolled down a numb cheek, I acknowledged that it feels like too much sometimes.
This was that sometime.