there are times i surprise even myself

I’ve been very lucky this year that my insurance was able to give me more therapy visits than scheduled.

We were shocked when something finally worked in our favor.

It might not seem like a reason to celebrate for most. It meant more exercising, more straining, more stretching, more MORE.

More early mornings.

(If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you are probably familiar with my feeling with the morning)

I take it as a good thing.

Today I had the chance to try something new.

For the first time I wrapped my leg in a brace that held my knee extra tightly.

Then I gripped tightly to a cane.

And I walked with Beth (my PT) securely beside me.

You got that, right?

The important words?

Those would be CANE and WALKED.

I left with an emotion like no other.  I don’t know if I can explain how it made me feel.

I know there’s a lot in front of me yet to do.

But for a second, just a second, I could see the future in front of me…standing tall and upright.

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39 Responses to there are times i surprise even myself

  1. Kevin October 21, 2010 at 4:33 PM #

    So happy to read this and happy for you! It’s just another step (I’d ask you to forgive the pun but it’s totally intentional) toward your full recovery we all know is coming!


    Kevin´s last post…It Gets Better

  2. Laurie October 19, 2010 at 1:36 PM #

    Fantastic! This is so great.

  3. Chris October 19, 2010 at 1:03 PM #

    Oh, yay!!!
    and thank you, God :-)
    I can’t wait to see it myself.

  4. Melinda October 18, 2010 at 9:06 PM #


    But…yeah….not an inspiration…except to me *smoochies and hugs*

  5. Kristin October 17, 2010 at 11:20 PM #

    I knew you could do it! This just gave me the “I’m so fucking happy” chills.

    Kristin´s last post…In Mummy Trouble

  6. Lisa October 16, 2010 at 4:45 PM #


    Lisa´s last post…Ghetto Lunch

  7. Liz October 16, 2010 at 1:53 PM #

    I know “inspiration” isn’t a moniker you like when applied to you, but, holy crap, Anissa! I’ll refrain from the mushy stuff and say that that’s so freakin’ awesome!

  8. k's grandma October 16, 2010 at 8:18 AM #

    I wanted to raise a toast! (And maybe a roof – you know, to keep the celebration in proportion.) I looked for a paypal button, but the only one I could find was on hope4peyton. So maybe a trip out for ice cream with the family? Hugs to you and yours kiddo.

  9. Susan from PA October 15, 2010 at 9:24 PM #

    What an amazing thing you did today! I can’t wait to hear you brag (and you SHOULD) about doing it again, and again, and again! You are amazing!!!!!

  10. Molly October 15, 2010 at 7:28 PM #

    FUCK YEAH BABY! You are a badass Anissa. I adore you.

  11. Ellie October 15, 2010 at 6:28 PM #


  12. Lorrian October 15, 2010 at 6:17 PM #

    HOLY CR@P, WOMAN – this is FABULOUS news!

    Not sure when I’ve been so very very very happy for someone I’ve never met.


  13. robin October 15, 2010 at 6:11 PM #

    Thanks for making me cry at work. :-) I am so excited for you…talk about dedication and perseverance! You go, Girl!

  14. melissa October 15, 2010 at 1:26 PM #

    you are one of the strongest, most amazing women. ever.

  15. Heather October 15, 2010 at 12:03 PM #

    Amazing feeling… My fiancee was wheelchair bound for a while after his last MS relapse. It’s amazing the difference a small amount of mobile freedom can make.

    Way to go!

  16. Neeroc October 15, 2010 at 11:24 AM #

    That fucking rocks. A cane. Just think about it. Anyone pisses you off, you’ve got a weapon!

    Neeroc´s last post…Wordless Wednesday

  17. mommabird2345 October 15, 2010 at 11:03 AM #

    I can’t even express how awesome that is!!! You can and are doing it!! :) (haha, I said you were “doing it”. yes, I’m 12)

  18. Kathy October 15, 2010 at 10:28 AM #

    I’m so so happy for you!!! I can’t imagine what a challenge all this is for you and your family. They all must be so incredibly proud of all your hard work right now. You can SO do this!!

  19. Candice October 15, 2010 at 10:21 AM #

    That’s amazing!! You rock!

    Candice´s last post…With the sunshine comes some rain

  20. Barnmaven October 15, 2010 at 9:17 AM #

    HOT DIGGITY DOG! Walking!!!!!

    Barnmaven´s last post…Kicked

  21. Leslie October 15, 2010 at 9:14 AM #

    Cane? WALK?????? That is the best news!

  22. Adria October 15, 2010 at 8:47 AM #

    That’s amazing, you! My eyes are leaky.. and can’t see what I’m typing but that is sooo… cool. Your rock!

    Adria´s last post…Ben Stein One of my favourite people in the Universe

  23. pgoodness October 15, 2010 at 8:43 AM #


  24. Dawn Tucker October 15, 2010 at 7:44 AM #

    Oh WOW! Did I just read that right? I’ve got too many tears in my eyes to go back and read it again!

    I’ve had an absolutely crappy week (including the death of my son’s best friend) and you, lady, have just given me something tangible to feel good about. Thank you so much. I’m just thrilled for you. Wish I could see Pete and the kids faces when you get to show them.

    Love ya!

  25. Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo October 15, 2010 at 4:06 AM #


  26. Karen October 15, 2010 at 12:56 AM #

    Oh Anissa – your post has me in tears – celebratory tears!!! I have followed your story for quite some time now but don’t usually comment because others are able to say it so much better than I would. But tonight when I read “Cane” and “Walk”? Yup. Tears of celebration. So very happy for your news and the progress you continue to make because of your feistyness and dedication.
    Wishing you the moon and the stars and everything you dream of!!
    Karen from Logan UT

  27. Susie October 15, 2010 at 12:39 AM #

    P.S. We have something else in common, Anissa, we agree that (early) mornings s-u-c-k. I think it’s a genetic trait because my 20-year old daughter is even worse than me. (I am incoherent and grumpy until 9 am.)

    In her senior year book–on the Good Morning Sunshine page (“Where do you get coffee from in the morning?” and “Excuses for being tardy”), this question was also asked: “How many times do you press the snooze button?” Her answer? “I have two alarms and hit the snooze button eight times. I hate waking up.”

    If she discovers I wrote this on your blog, let’s make a pact, OK? I say you are NOT an inspiration, and you disavow that it was her mom that stupidly put her quote on your blog. Deal???

  28. Susie October 15, 2010 at 12:26 AM #

    So how long have I been posting with my (annoying?) message of “Go get
    tomorrow”? Well, you obviously did just that today. Look at you! I wish you could have seen the huge grin on my face when I read the words: “cane” and “walk”.

    Two miracles back-to-back: 33 miners coming up from the earth’s darkness into the light whole and grateful, and you walking with a cane! Your miracle took grace and grit and more grueling work and perseverance than any of us will ever know.

    We are just grateful to be along for your journey. But I must remind you that you are NOT–under any and all circumstances–an inspiration. But you are the one, the only Anissa. That chair will be a distant memory sooner than later. Now go get tomorrow (like you got today). More miracles await you; I know it…

  29. Twenty Four At Heart October 14, 2010 at 11:59 PM #

    Yay!! You are the awesome!
    I can’t wait for the vlog when you’re chasing after Avitable and beating him with your cane! : )
    I wish I still had PT benefits too.

  30. Associate Girl October 14, 2010 at 11:53 PM #

    Love it love it love it. I am reading no other blogs tonight because this is the one with which I want to remember the day.

  31. Andi October 14, 2010 at 11:53 PM #

    That is unreal!! Congratulations!!!

    One thing I may have mentioned before (warning – hippie suggestion!) is orthobionomy. It’s not replacement for PT, but it can help things work better and faster. I can’t even tell you how amazing it was for my daughter. And a friend of hers. Miracles were seen.

    Keep on going!!

  32. cindy w October 14, 2010 at 11:31 PM #

    Dude, that is freaking awesome. Should we go ahead & start a betting pool for when you’re going to be out of that chair for good?

  33. Bridget October 14, 2010 at 10:44 PM #


    Bridget´s last post…How to Cut an Apple

  34. Sharon Heg October 14, 2010 at 10:27 PM #

    Awesome! Absolute and total awesomeness! But just like Julia Roberts said, no inspiration whatsoevah.

    Sharon Heg´s last post…The Multiple Uses of Spaghetti Tongs

  35. Amanda October 14, 2010 at 10:23 PM #

    Total dork here saying, “You rock,” but with “walk” in place of “rock.” Like I said, dork.

    You walk.
    Me dork.

    Amanda´s last post…FWIW

  36. Akilah Sakai October 14, 2010 at 10:04 PM #

    Awesome news, Anissa. You must’ve been ready to burst with excitement. I’m very happy for you. Go girl!

  37. Shelley October 14, 2010 at 9:57 PM #

    Thrilled, ecstatic, elated, crazy happy. Those don’t even scratch the surface. You are amazing! Keep it up.

  38. schmutzie October 14, 2010 at 9:52 PM #

    Holy crap! I can only imagine how that felt to take those steps. I’m so happy for you.

    schmutzie´s last post…Five of My Most Highly Embarrassing Accidents

  39. Julia Roberts (really) October 14, 2010 at 9:52 PM #

    Girl, this? You’ve got. Once when I wrapped my leg around yours, it was totally strong! You completely rock, but you are NOT, I repeat, ARE NOT an inspiration.

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