making sense of no sense

A year ago my memories are disjointed and unreal.

I’m never sure what is dream, memory or story told to me.

This was the time most confusing.

Where I turned things I didn’t understand into dreams that made sense. Which didn’t. But seemed safer.

I have memories of those dreams as clear as a movie.

Dreams about hallways that move. Rooms that are cold. Entire scenes as authentically Mexican as Taco Bell.

Did you know I could breath under water?

Then I remember feelings.

Not wanting to close my eyes when my kids were still there.

Laying on the floor in the dark wondering when someone would help me.

His voice. Always his voice.

Sometimes the music.

What a change a year brings.

What will the stories of the year to come be like?

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7 Responses to making sense of no sense

  1. Kat December 13, 2010 at 7:48 PM #

    I hope it is all that you wish it to be. After last year, I know it will be better. You came thru all that with your sense of humor firmly on, and I can’t think of anyone else more deserving. Ok, maybe we’ll go get Ryan – road trip!!
    Kateraxe (Kat)

  2. Kristin December 10, 2010 at 11:30 PM #

    I love reading this.

    Kristin´s last post…My poor- poor boy

  3. Jessica December 10, 2010 at 5:42 PM #

    And I’m looking forward to reading about this next year right here on Free Anissa. I hope you and Peter have started the book. At least started on the outline.

  4. Diane Brogan December 10, 2010 at 7:28 AM #

    2011 will be great for you. Even though you have been to hell and back, you still have a great spirit. Happy New Year.

  5. William December 10, 2010 at 6:22 AM #

    Are you saying Taco Bell does not represent an authentic Mexican food? Great next I will find out that Pizza Hut is not really a true Italian Cuisine.

    I am glad I have found the writing stylings of AM.

  6. Carole December 10, 2010 at 12:18 AM #

    How you’ve come through it all is amazing. I’m sure the next year will be astounding.

    Carole´s last post…Early Christmas Gift

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