the weight of the world on my hips

With all the crap I’ve had to deal with THIS feels almost vain.

When I’m in a wheelchair full-time and live with only one fully functional side,it seems silly to get crabby about my weight.

I should be glad just to be alive.

I am

I should be happy that I’m with my family and not in a hospital bed.

I am.

I have had a second, third, eleventy-th chance to live and I shouldn’t forget that.

I don’t.

It doesn’t mean that when pants don’t fit or my husband points out that I’m gaining weight, I don’t still manage to feel bad.

It’s hard to explain how someone who never sees the back of her own legs can get upset about ten pounds.

But I am.

It sucks.

I guess if I have to be handicapped, I could at least be a skinny handicap.

Since I’m not, I’ll have to have a consoation cupcake.


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24 Responses to the weight of the world on my hips

  1. Karen Hartzell, Graco January 13, 2011 at 5:45 PM #

    Seriously, Peter? Bet that’s the last time you do anything for him! And I mean anything! ha!

    Hope to see you soon!

    Karen Hartzell, Graco´s last post…Car Seat Safety- How to properly use your 5-point harness

  2. Alicia January 13, 2011 at 3:37 PM #

    Wendy is soooo right! If you can be concerned about your weight right now, that is freakin awesome! The way I see it though is that if your hips and thighs are growing, that just means more lap space for the little ones. :D

    Alicia´s last post…And You Thought Writing Your Name in the Snow Was Fun

  3. Jennifer January 13, 2011 at 11:06 AM #

    I wanted to let you know about this situation: This husband could use some prayers and maybe some encouraging words, especially from you.

  4. DefendUSA January 13, 2011 at 10:39 AM #

    I’ll tell you a story…When I was working in the hospital, of course there were all kinds of patients. One day, I was in Mr. B’s room. His wife was dressed to the nines for no other reason than she liked to look good at her age…82. Mr. B was heading back to bed in his hospital gown and his backside was hanging out for all to see. Mrs. B. ever so kindly walked over and said, Oh Honey, let me get that for you, it’s my bounty, after all!” and she shuffled closed the gown. There was so much love in her voice that I could only think she viewed him as she did the day they were married. And as I have gotten older and our bodies have changed, sometimes it’s not pretty. But for the most part, I look around and think like Mrs. B.

    It’s all good!! :)

  5. ThePittsofBeingPeachy January 12, 2011 at 11:42 PM #

    uhm when did you get hips?

    ThePittsofBeingPeachy´s last post…Pretty sure I asked for this

  6. ThePeachy1 January 12, 2011 at 11:40 PM #

    UHm I distinctly remember you slipping on a pair of size 6 gap jeans which nearly caused me to take a market and put a 1 in front of all your clothing tags to make myself feel better. None the less. The strokes and coma didn’t take away your womanhood or right to be all freaked about weight. You are still my niss

  7. Wendy January 12, 2011 at 5:22 PM #

    How awesome that you can focus on your weight right now… If you are focused on “normal” issues like your weight, well, that’s good! It means that there aren’t a bazillion other (more critical) things competing in their urgency for you to worry about. Maybe next you can hope for a bad hair day? (I’m afraid that this message is sounding snarky or sarcastic, and it isn’t at all meant that way. I’m totally serious. When you think about where you were last year… I’m guessing that your fat ass was not a competing priority in your things to worry about – yay for fat asses!).

    • Anissa Mayhew January 12, 2011 at 10:48 PM #

      I love you for your snarky understanding and getting my fat-ass syndrome.

  8. mommabird2345 January 12, 2011 at 11:35 AM #

    I think you are beautiful. I’ll have a cupcake with you. :)

    When I start feeling bad about my weight, I think of the song “Baby Got Back”. Sir MixALot always makes me feel better about my big butt. ;)

    • Anissa Mayhew January 12, 2011 at 10:50 PM #

      You + me = cupcakes (or three)

  9. Faiqa January 12, 2011 at 10:55 AM #

    or my husband points out that I’m gaining weight
    Oh, Peter, Peter, Peter… I’m going to have so much fun kicking your ass next time I see you.

    • Anissa Mayhew January 12, 2011 at 10:52 PM #

      Haha. I didn’t realize how bad that sounded.

      But true.


      Ass-kicking starts when?

  10. The Reckmonster January 12, 2011 at 10:49 AM #

    No need to sweat it – I’m guilty of bitching about EVERYTHING amidst the many blessings I have in my life. I call it “frothing” – and it’s actually necessary to purge yourself of all of the yuck thoughts (via bitching/complaining/whining) so that they don’t fester and make you homicidal. So really – it just makes the world a safer place. =)

    The Reckmonster´s last post…Ughnow I wish I would have stayed home

    • Anissa Mayhew January 12, 2011 at 10:56 PM #

      I should do it more. Just to keep the public safe.

  11. Becky January 12, 2011 at 10:27 AM #

    That sucks, Anissa! ((hugs))

    • Anissa Mayhew January 12, 2011 at 10:56 PM #


  12. Kristin January 12, 2011 at 9:29 AM #

    That truly sucks…but, like Diane said, you are truly beautiful and your wicked sense of humor always shines through.

    Kristin´s last post…1 for me- 1 for you125 for me- 125 for you from CSN Stores

  13. tricia mumby January 12, 2011 at 9:03 AM #

    ugh. that sucks.. But you are in a whole new world and you have to keep that in mind! It’s not like you can beat yourself up and then go punish yourself on the eliptical machine! Plus, who gives a crap anyway. I COULD hop on the eliptical machine and never do.. well, now I feel bad. Point is: we ALL have to come to terms with our changing bodies as we age: chair or no chair.

    Your’re hot & alive & smart & tough & you inspire every just by being YOU! I wish we could all get over our “packaging” cuz its not what impresses or inspires or makes a difference in the world. It really isn’t.

    • Anissa Mayhew January 12, 2011 at 10:46 PM #

      Thank you for doing your best to remind me it IS just packaging. xoxo

  14. Diane Brogan January 12, 2011 at 8:24 AM #

    You are a beautiful person.

    Diane Brogan´s last post…Facebook and Twitter for Seniors for Dummies – Part 3 of 4

    • Anissa Mayhew January 12, 2011 at 8:55 AM #

      thanks for thinking so.

  15. neeroc January 12, 2011 at 7:34 AM #

    Enjoy. Everyone knows that consolation cupcakes have zero calories!

    • Anissa Mayhew January 12, 2011 at 8:56 AM #

      Great! I’ll have two.


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