Archive | May, 2011

i may have 1 good leg and 1 good arm, but I still have 2 good boobs apparently

Once upon a time, I had quite the impressive bosom. NO LIE. To be really blunt about it, “the twins” were fun. They did the BEST card tricks! The strokes were a lot of adjustment physically. Wheelchairs to get used to. Legs that don’t work. Arms that don’t feel. Faces that aren’t straight. But still. [...]

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if i seem a little cranky, you’ll know why

Diet. A four-letter word for reason. But I’m going on one. Why? You can only be so vain when you’ve had a stroke. I’ve had two schools of thought on this. I could have more strokes.  My body could just decide to give up and poop out. Do I really want my LAST MEAL to [...]

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i have been known to keep counters clean

You can watch this video if: we never speak of the last trash dump that left it’s mark in the tray you don’t ask about the Nutella in the corner, you can’t have it you don’t say “WTF is the “thing” on wheels that you can almost see” -  it’s the shaved ice machine OK. [...]

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i could have had a v-8, but i wrote instead

So I started writing THE BOOK. The one that I’ve hedged about writing. It’s doing what I was afraid it would it would do. It made me remember things I didn’t want to remember. I had feelings I pushed away. A person I’m ashamed to have to have been. But I had to be HER [...]

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JC the @LittleAnimation

Have you ever wondered what I would look like if I was a cartoon? And smelled like AWESOME!!!! You’re welcome.

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Pursey Galore (click if you misread that!)

There are lots of causes I’d love to have the money and time to give to, and then there’s the moment a cause just smacks you in the face with the sheer perfection of it’s tackiness. About 6 months ago I was first approached by Lori and she told me the story of how “Pursey [...]

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more deep thoughts (and posting twice a day)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. [...]

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why pretty is like pez (and @Chookooloonks)

Strokes aren’t pretty. They aren’t. I’m not. Now, I can hear you sputtering about how I should find mysel beautiful, and I do. I’m just not PRETTY. Pretty can fade with time. Pretty is swallowed by ugliness in your soul Pretty is like candy.  It’s good, it’s fun, you want some, but it won’t FEED [...]

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taking it all off

Before you watch this video I should explain a few thing. My dress isn’t crooked. I wear it that way on purpose.  All the cool kids are doing it these days. That’s a seatbelt I’m wearing for safety. I wear it all the time.  It’s ugly.  I know.  So is face-planting. That lump square on [...]

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There are some days I just feel like FAIL. I may get certain things accomplished. I may find some tasks done. In all reality, my day was pretty full. But it’s always the things I remember forgetting that haunt me. It’s the list that never quite gets done. It’s believing the motto of Aiming Low [...]

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yo, folks!

I’m at Robin’s site today, telling all my deepest and darkest secrets. Except the thing that happened in the Peruvian prison. That stays between me and the midgets. And the guy from the gas station. And the bunny. But no further. You may have missed my post at Aiming Low. The one where I get [...]

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what’s harder than one-handed bra removal?

Getting dressed when you only have one strong arm can be challenging, to say the least. Putting a shirt on was one skill they taught you before they set you loose. Now, humor me and put your shirt on. Don’t use your dominant arm at all. Don’t let it stiffen at arm holes. Don’t let [...]

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hallmark has nothing

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Most celebrated the mother in their life. They were one. They were going to be one.  They had been one. They were always going to be the child of one. Just this one time I’m going to dance around in my underwear, stick out my tongue and say “NA NA NA [...]

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