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i may have 1 good leg and 1 good arm, but I still have 2 good boobs apparently

May 31, 2011

Once upon a time, I had quite the impressive bosom.

NO LIE.

To be really blunt about it, “the twins” were fun.

They did the BEST card tricks!

The strokes were a lot of adjustment physically.

Wheelchairs to get used to.

Legs that don’t work.

Arms that don’t feel.

Faces that aren’t straight.

But still.

THE BOOBAGES.

Even better.

The fact that I’m now in a wheelchair means people are looking down at me the entire time we talk.

Past my face.

Down my cleavage.

WAY IN THERE.

Like they’re spelunking.

Even a fairly decently cut shirt makes me feel like a Vegas showgirl that tripped onstage and lost her top…..again.

So, it just goes to prove: guys cannot NOT look at boobs.

Even when they’re attached to a crooked, handicapped package.

You can almost hear them thinking, “That poor handicapped girl, BUT LOOK AT THAT RACK!”

Or maybe that’s just MY husband.

You gotta love him.

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26 Responses to i may have 1 good leg and 1 good arm, but I still have 2 good boobs apparently

  1. terry June 14, 2011 at 11:11 PM #

    oops – double post!
    (soz)

    Reply
  2. terry June 14, 2011 at 11:09 PM #

    Crooked – yeah I dig that. with a giant
    and heartfelt ouch. But you put it into a
    realistic perspective, yet manage not to
    ‘crap’ on anyone. Nice read and really
    illuminating. (PS – please send more photos :D )
    signed,
    (instant fan) terry

    Reply
  3. MFA Mama June 4, 2011 at 8:25 PM #

    Bwahahahahaha!

    Reply
  4. Myra June 3, 2011 at 8:07 PM #

    Rock on, girlfriend!!!

    Reply
  5. The Six-Fingered Monkey June 2, 2011 at 7:38 PM #

    Ah… HA! Excellent. I’m going to send Mark Zuckerberg a thank you note because, somehow, Facebook brought me here. Yay!!!

    The Six-Fingered Monkey´s last post…Male Bonding

    Reply
  6. Kati Strong June 2, 2011 at 7:00 PM #

    Card tricks! FTW! I’m still laughing with that one. I love your sense of humor. Ever since my daughter’s life altering hemorrhage we’ve still found a lot to laugh about. Her favorite song i the hospital after she became more lucid; “It Sucks To Be Me” from Avenue Q. (The nurses would look at me and my husband with horror until they saw that it made her smile.) Her shirt to wear to each of her (non-emergency) surgeries (31 surgeries in the last 5 years}: IT SUCKS TO BE ME. The model name, prominently displayed on the back frame of her snazzy, zebra covered wheelchair: Spazzy. Apropos since she has moderate-severe ataxia.

    You’ve got two choices: laugh or cry. We find it much better to laugh!

    Reply
  7. Susie June 2, 2011 at 10:14 AM #

    This may be your funniest blog entry ever and yep, I’m laughing, but I totally lost it when I read Peter’s comment. Now you and your boobies go get tomorrow, Anissa…

    Reply
  8. Ann June 1, 2011 at 11:56 PM #

    This was just plain awesome…and so true. Accentuate the positive I say!

    Ann´s last post…Memorial Day Goodness

    Reply
  9. The Animated Woman June 1, 2011 at 8:54 PM #

    Hey, you should totally get a glass eye and put it (iris up) way down in your cleavage. So when people look way down in there, you can stare back at them. Ha.

    Here’s to undulating personalities!

    The Animated Woman´s last post…SHARK Dog

    Reply
  10. Handflapper June 1, 2011 at 7:17 PM #

    Your boobs are truly inspirational. As is the rest of you.

    Reply
  11. Peter Mayhew June 1, 2011 at 1:12 PM #

    Wait? Your face is crooked?

    Peter Mayhew´s last post…Hi There

    Reply
  12. Coolwhipmom June 1, 2011 at 10:11 AM #

    Work it girl! Your girls sound like good times. PS Can they teach mine to do card tricks? Cuz mine are kinda lazy and just sit around all the time.

    Reply
  13. SunGryphon (@SunGryphon) June 1, 2011 at 9:01 AM #

    Hilarity! @AnissaMayhew: i may have 1 good leg and 1 good arm, but I still have 2 good boobs apparently – http://freeanissa.com/Q9

    Reply
  14. Julia Roberts June 1, 2011 at 8:18 AM #

    Oh, I’ve totally said that. Many times.

    Reply
  15. Tim June 1, 2011 at 7:24 AM #

    I can’t stop laughing!!!!

    Reply
  16. Penbleth June 1, 2011 at 6:39 AM #

    Go with it Anissa, buy the fancy tops and showcase those girls. I would.

    Penbleth´s last post…And all I got was a lot of mud everywhere

    Reply
  17. Megan@TrueDaughter June 1, 2011 at 12:17 AM #

    That is just the God’s honest truth. They can’t help themselves – and hey, if you’ve got fabulous boobs, what can you do? Buy fabulous tops.

    Megan@TrueDaughter´s last post…What would you do What would Mary do

    Reply
  18. Jared Karol May 31, 2011 at 11:22 PM #

    I’m developing my own moobs too. Oddly, no one seems to be looking at them though. . . LUCKY!

    Jared Karol´s last post…Reflections on Six Months of Blogging

    Reply
  19. Kristin May 31, 2011 at 11:07 PM #

    You still have gorgeous boobs and I love that you can make me laugh like I am right now..

    Kristin´s last post…Some Gave All

    Reply
  20. IzzyMom May 31, 2011 at 9:33 PM #

    Do you remember the self-portrait you took by sticking my camera up your shirt? I need to find that.

    IzzyMom´s last post…Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Opinions for Free

    Reply
  21. Moms Who Blog (@momswhoblog) (@momswhoblog) May 31, 2011 at 9:25 PM #

    i may have 1 good leg and 1 good arm, but I still have 2 good boobs apparently http://dlvr.it/Tff7y

    Reply
  22. Ordinary Sarah May 31, 2011 at 8:58 PM #

    It’s true, Your boobs mesmorized me from the very second I met you at Blissdom ’09. Long live the rack!

    Reply
  23. Stacey May 31, 2011 at 8:13 PM #

    Hey, when you’ve got it, you’ve got it.

    Stacey´s last post…Note to Self

    Reply
  24. Becky May 31, 2011 at 7:55 PM #

    Gotta love Rockin a “booby shirt!”

    Becky´s last post…Lil Mans Prayer

    Reply
  25. Trish May 31, 2011 at 6:58 PM #

    You are too funny!

    Trish´s last post…Teaser Tuesdays- The Union Quilters

    Reply
  26. Anissa Mayhew (@AnissaMayhew) (@AnissaMayhew) May 31, 2011 at 6:31 PM #

    I WROTE THIS: i may have 1 good leg and 1 good arm, but I still have 2 good boobs apparently – http://freeanissa.com/Q9

    Reply

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