…and then i ripped off her arm and beat her to death with it.

Not really. But I thought about it.

Really hard.

Yesterday, Peyton had her first appointment at the SURVIVORSHIP CLINIC.

Oncology, Endocrinology, Psychology, Neurology, Research, and simple lab work.

Peyton’s doing great, she’s wonderfully healthy and we talked about a few issues that I knew were over her head.

Then one doctor got on a subject I knew Peyton was going to understand.

She discussed BMI, sedentary lifestyle, being overweight, how bad school lunches were for THEM….you know…THEM….the morbidly obese kids who bodies haven’t been through hell.

You know, kids like her:

The ones you hoped weren’t paying attention.

Then you’re at Trader Joe’s and she says,

“That doctor thought I was chubby”




I need my 7yo, who SURVIVED 2.5 YEARS OF CHEMOTHERAPY and CRANIAL RADIATION to worry about her weight, when I’m just thankful she doesn’t still look like:

I’m thankful for every day that we get together.

No matter what her diet.

When that doctor’s child has had cancer (something I wouldn’t wish on my worse enemy), then she can talk.

**I called the Aflac Cancer Center at CHOA Scottish Rite and talked about how hurtful and upsetting (to the patients & parents) that talk could be. It could be handled a damn bit better. I hope no more parents have to face explaining how stupid doctor’s can be to a child. **

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34 Responses to …and then i ripped off her arm and beat her to death with it.

  1. kim sisto robinson June 12, 2011 at 4:00 PM #

    Fabulous :) Loved this post. xx

    kim sisto robinson´s last post…Photos – The Kay Marie Sisto Walk for Domestic Violence

  2. kim sisto robinson June 12, 2011 at 3:54 PM #

    4 …make that 5 words only.

    Get A New freaking Doctor!!!


    kim sisto robinson´s last post…Photos – The Kay Marie Sisto Walk for Domestic Violence

  3. Carrie June 10, 2011 at 4:04 PM #

    while i appreciate that you’re happier your child is alive and cancer free, as a cancer survivor myself weight gain has been a major post chemo issue for me. while on chemo i ate anything and everything in the moments i had an appetite in hope to keep any of it down. i’ve been done with chemo for just over a year and put on 30 pounds. and 30 pounds in a year is a bit too much too fast. my doctor had recommended gaining 10 pounds after i was done with chemo. so now i’m putting a lot of effort into eating the right amount of nutritious foods to help my body rebuild itself.

    Carrie´s last post…Apple Dreams Do Come True

  4. kyooty June 9, 2011 at 9:19 PM #

    Holy Stupid things Stupid people say batman! I’m so sorry your daughter’s feelings were hurt. Feed her whatever she wants to eat, I’m sure there were plenty of days you just wanted her to eat. Also given her age? she’s probably getting ready for a Summer Growth Spurt. Next week she’ll be an 1/2 inch taller, and the doctor will still be a stupid people. :(

    kyooty´s last post…Sometimes They are Working Together

  5. Elinor June 9, 2011 at 8:59 PM #

    And now we know one of the reasons so many girls have body issues. Let’s remember, 7 year olds can be chubby (and I am not in any way saying Payton is) and still grow up to be healthy adults. Children, by their very nature, go through times when they are taller then their base weight, or they have added pounds and the inches haven’t shown up yet… It’s called growing. I think if children are eating right, active and their weight is not affecting their health we should let them be. I am so mad at this dr and I hope this isn’t a memory that is burned in Payton’s mind.

  6. Eustice The Sheep (aka The Nice Lady) June 9, 2011 at 4:08 PM #

    ARGH!!! If Peyton had cranial radiation and is having other issues she very likely has pituitary dysfunction. IMO Pituitary disorders are horribly under diagnosed and under treated (and I’m speaking from experience). If she is GH deficient it will not only affect her height, it will affect a multitude of other things. Check out …also: please know I’m giving you a standing ovation for standing up to a bully. I have had so many doctors say unkind things to me and as a society we revere the medical profession.

    Please tell Payton I said this: Doctors are experts that we hire to consult with us. They are human beings and can be good or bad at their jobs just like any other human being in any other profession. Just like there are bad plumbers and mechanics and, yes, even bad teachers…. there are doctors who are not so great at their jobs too. I’m sorry you had to meet one so early in your life.

    Although her words may have hurt, they are only words and only her opinion and she doesn’t even really KNOW you. She was a grown-up behaving badly. You’ll meet lots more of them through your life. Listen to the words said to you by the people that love you. Listen for the quiet voice inside of you that tells you when you’re doing good from bad (the one that tells you what you’re doing is gonna make Mom or Dad annoyed but you do it anyway sometimes), and listen to your Mom and Dad when they tell you they love you no matter what, and then practice loving yourself no matter what too.

    Eustice The Sheep (aka The Nice Lady)´s last post…Giraffes Are Always Late

  7. Aimee Giese | Greeblemonkey June 9, 2011 at 11:20 AM #

    You have GOT to be kidding me. Boooooo!

  8. Lindsay Dianne June 9, 2011 at 10:24 AM #

    Obviously every mother wants to keep their children safe from having their feelings hurt. Safe from having their weight be an issue.
    Your daughter is nowhere near morbidly obese.
    School lunches are a problem. For THEM. Because they’re unhealthy. And a person who has been through something like you have… wants to give their child every chance to be healthy. So of course it’s annoying to have to deal with this, but it opens up a HUGE talking point. That no.. It’s not about FAT. It’s about health.
    Doctor’s have to cater to the lowest common parents. It’s not about you and Peyton. It’s about the standardized child.
    BMI is bullsh*t. Especially in kids. But if the doctor’s don’t educate the parents? How can we expect this problem to get better.
    IT IS A PROBLEM. And education is the key. But if everyone gets upset every time a person gives them info? No one will ever learn and we’ll be doomed.

  9. The Lass June 9, 2011 at 5:32 AM #

    I cannot believe that! Honestly, what’s wrong with these people??? Your beautiful, gorgeous little girl… Oh, how I want to smack that doctor!

    The Lass´s last post…Sweet Pea

  10. Shelley Clements June 9, 2011 at 12:15 AM #

    You were so right. Unbelievable. She is SO FREAKIN beautiful and PERFECT and AMAZING and just full of God’s grace…just like her mama!

  11. Andie June 9, 2011 at 12:10 AM #

    No jury in their right mind would convict you, I say go for it!

  12. Adrienne June 9, 2011 at 12:02 AM #

    I’m not going to say anything but GO YOU!!! That doctor ought to be damn glad she’s sporting all the limbs she had before your visit.

    If I say anything else, I’ll get all hot under the collar and it’s almost time for bed.

  13. I WROTE THIS: …and then i ripped off her arm and beat her to death with it. –

  14. Coolwhipmom June 8, 2011 at 8:55 PM #

    Seriously. Some doctors need to be slapped upside the head. That is all.

  15. Penbleth June 8, 2011 at 1:09 PM #

    Sometimes I seriously wonder if doctors ever were people. This is on a par with 12′s consultant telling us she would be better being in residential care because she is hard work. Aghhh.

    I hope Peyton doesn’t worry about it too much and realises she is a gorgeous girl.

    Penbleth´s last post…It’s well past time to know better

  16. Amo June 8, 2011 at 12:59 PM #

    I would imagine that you are fully ‘armed’ with all of us online… Just give us a date, time and location. ;)

  17. …and then i ripped off her arm and beat her to death with it.

  18. Chris June 8, 2011 at 12:48 PM #

    That Dr. is an “ASSHAT” no other explanation for her pure stupidity.
    Your girl is a cutie!!!

  19. Stephanie June 8, 2011 at 12:47 PM #

    Oh my goodness Anissa, how this post hit home with us. Remember Scott? The wee boy whom you posed with one Christmas at the CCC party and we could see right through your little black dress? ‘member? LOL!!! :) Anyhow, yes he has been off treatment for 2 years, has since been diagnosed with cardiomyopathy (due to the doxorubicon) and as you recall he also had a stroke, well Scott is carrying a few extra pounds and he gets the same bullshit from the oncologists … he runs around … he swims … he barely eats … he is chubby … but he is alive! Boy do I wish they would just shut the hell up.

  20. Karen June 8, 2011 at 12:35 PM #

    My son was recently told the same thing because his BMI puts him in the 88% for weight but he is tall and thin (oh, yeah and 5!) . I have to adjust his shorts to the last few buttons in the adjustable waistband! I would like to take her arms and beat down the BMI people. Why are we so behind the times with this ridiculous scale? Some kids are solid and others are petite or have long limbs.

    That aside, she looks perfect to me! Perhaps the doctor could have approached you about eating as chemically/preservative free as possible for avoiding carcinogens – which happens to give her more fruits/veggies/whole grains and less crap anyway.

    Karen´s last post…Dear Andrew…5 Years Old

  21. Jen June 8, 2011 at 12:31 PM #

    People are so insensitive these days. I almost can’t stand it anymore.

    Your daughter is beautiful and NOT morbidly obese!

  22. neeroc June 8, 2011 at 12:26 PM #

    Oh hells bells. There are so many ways to have a discussion that is sensitive to children and parents who’ve been through hell (IF it’s even needed AT ALL – which is still up for debate in my mind), and it sounds like this doctor ignored all of them. Good for you for complaining, you’re right, no one should have to go through that.

    neeroc´s last post…Change it is a-comin’

    • Anissa Mayhew June 8, 2011 at 11:50 PM #

      I think I’m going to have to call again, because Peyton brought up another thing the dr said in front of her.

  23. Kris June 8, 2011 at 12:10 PM #

    She needs to be shot. And quartered. And Peyton is not fat. She is gorgeous.

    Kris´s last post…Winner!!

  24. Becky June 8, 2011 at 12:00 PM #

    Right there with you!

    I’ll yank our pedi GI docs arm off and donate it to your cause if you will send both arms back to donate to my Lil Mans cause when you are done ;-)

    Becky´s last post…Dear Doctor

  25. Barnmaven June 8, 2011 at 11:40 AM #

    Peyton is perfect just the way she is. I hate the way our children are being molded so early to be concerned about whether they are “fat” or not. My 9 year-old will sometimes get dressed and ask me if she looks “skinny” in her jeans. I try to use it as an opportunity to tell her that she’s perfect and wonderful and beautiful and that she doesn’t need to worry about whether or not she is skinny, just that she is healthy, and that healthy comes in many sizes including small, medium and large. But it still makes me sad and worried. Peyton is lucky to have a mom with enormous wisdom (and big balls too) who will speak up to her and for her.

    Barnmaven´s last post…Empathy

    • Anissa Mayhew June 8, 2011 at 11:47 PM #

      Thanks! I hope those drs and nurses really THINK about the impact they’re having on these young minds and self-esteems.

  26. CJj June 8, 2011 at 10:53 AM #

    Some doctors are so stupid. I can’t believe she said that. You can beat her with my arm too, if you need an extra!

  27. Devan @ Accustomed Chaos June 8, 2011 at 10:50 AM #

    I am so sorry that your daughter had to hear that & the insensitivity of that doctor is so thoughtless!

    Devan @ Accustomed Chaos´s last post…Wordless- Summer Fun link your posts

  28. Kristin June 8, 2011 at 10:44 AM #

    That would seriously piss me off if the doctor did that in front of my kid. Peyton is gorgeous.

    Kristin´s last post…Hump Day Spin Around

    • Anissa Mayhew June 8, 2011 at 11:45 PM #

      It hurts me that no matter how many times I tell her that, she seems more worried about the dr’s opinion.


  29. Suebob June 8, 2011 at 10:39 AM #

    I have heard so many stories from people with eating disorders who were sent onto that path by one cruel comment. I believe Peyton will be ok, because she has such a strong support system, but it drives me crazy to hear that the doctor was so thoughtless.

    Suebob´s last post…50 for 50- Day 22- Kivaorg

    • Anissa Mayhew June 8, 2011 at 11:43 PM #

      Today Peyton brought up what that dr said about school lunches. I seriously want to smack the CRAP out of her.

      • Sue June 11, 2011 at 4:33 AM #

        First of all, Peyton is georgous. Second, I work in a school kitchen and there is lots of stuff served that is considered crap but it is state regulated so it can’t be all that horrible. They have to eat something and for many, many children, it is the only full meal they get in a day. I am so tired of the schools getting blamed for kids being fat. When does the responsiblity of raising children ever fall on the parents? You are doing a fantastic job of raising your children with much love, affection and understanding. That is what is important. I guess this is why doctors are considered to be “practicing” medicine. It still needs a lot of work to be perfected for so many.

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