before i wake

Twilight: DEFINITION

“dim; obscure: in the twilight hours. a terminal period, especially after full development, success, etc.: the twilight of his life”
NOT
“anything to do with yummy boys that sparkle
I have a twilight time when I nap.
That time before I reach full consciousness but I’m not quite sleep anymore.
My mind lives in that memory of where I’ve been.
What I wanted so bad.
Am I still in the hospital?
The nursing home?
Has my mind just made up a world where I didn’t have to wait to see my family.
Did I live in the fear that I’d never leave.
Would my eyes open to world of unkindness.
Hopelessness.
Desperation.
The sounds of the world around me start to drift.
They get loud.
Louder.
I blink.
I’m home.
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6 Responses to before i wake

  1. Penbleth June 6, 2011 at 12:48 PM #

    Those moments being back there must be awful but how wonderful that you wake and are home and safe.

    Penbleth´s last post…It wasn’t awfully exciting

  2. Becky June 6, 2011 at 9:10 AM #

    Oh, that twilight time is a lil harsh on you!

    But then again … maybe that is what makes waking at home all the more precious. Or Gods way of saying “Look again at what I’ve done for you my child.”

    Enough of “waxing” philisophical!

    I’m all for re-wiring that twilight time for a better scene!

    Becky´s last post…Dear Doctor

  3. kyooty June 4, 2011 at 9:55 AM #

    I don’t ever want to hear bout Yummy Sparkling boys. So glad you wake up home.

    kyooty´s last post…Wordless Wednesday

  4. Kristin June 3, 2011 at 10:59 PM #

    Oh man, that’s a sucky place for twilight to take you.

    Kristin´s last post…Photo Friday Night Leftovers

  5. I WROTE THIS: before i wake – http://freeanissa.com/18

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