loving lamps and tears

Lamps

 

Yes.

Yes, I do.

A lot of people appreciate me for my humor.  The ability to still laugh in the face what seems like extreme circumstances.

I believe that laughing has always been something as much a part of me as breathing or toast.

It has been hard for me to accept that part of me just gets overwhelmed.

I get frustrated.

I get scared of this situation.

I cry.

As much as I rely on the laughter to carry me day to day, the tears seem to wash everything away so there is room for me to build again.

Pete was used to never seeing me cry.

If I cried it was usually BAD.

Someone had DIED.  Something was WRONG.

Now, it could be a power strip fell…..I cry.

I’m out of toothpaste….I cry.

The mailman is late…I don’t cry….but it really hurts my feelings.

Maybe that’s one of the hardest changes to get used to in myself.

But I’m finding it to be one of my strengths.

The tears always come.

They DO go away.

Then the laughter comes again.  There are always lamps to love.

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15 Responses to loving lamps and tears

  1. Janine (@twincident) June 9, 2011 at 11:21 PM #

    I haven’t been here in soooo long! I saw Rachel’s post on Facebook and thought I would pop over. Crying definitely means you are ALIVE and feeling. And that’s a good thing. Even when feeling sucks and you wish you could just NOT feel.

    Janine (@twincident)´s last post…So this is what its like to try and get food stamps

  2. Melissa June 9, 2011 at 7:32 AM #

    I think our doctors would label this “emotional labile” but my kids would refer to it as “mama’s crying again, get the Kleenex”. It is frustrating! Thanks for sharing how it really is!

    Melissa´s last post…It’s summerwhat to do- what to do

  3. Coolwhipmom June 8, 2011 at 9:56 AM #

    I’m a big crier too. Esp. since my sister died last month, the tiniest things bring me to tears. But I don’t think it’s a bad thing. As someone said above, crying is authentic and part of being human. :) xoxo

  4. kyooty June 7, 2011 at 6:54 AM #

    But you know? This could also be age too. I cry at the tiny things now that I’m heading close to 40? It all started at about 35/36. I wasn’t a big crier either, I did but not over no bread left in the breadbox. Keep on Feeling! It’s a very good thing.

    kyooty´s last post…Sometimes They are Working Together

  5. Kristin June 7, 2011 at 1:29 AM #

    Tears are ok because tears are another sign that you are still here.

    Kristin´s last post…Vics Story- part 6

  6. IzzyMom June 6, 2011 at 11:54 PM #

    I often cry when I’ve reached my breaking point. I let myself have that luxury because I know when I’m done, I’ll feel better and more capable of dealing…but I always wish nobody had seen me blubbering and making the “ugly cry” face.

    IzzyMom´s last post…Jedi Mom Trick

  7. Susie June 6, 2011 at 9:14 PM #

    I think crying is awesome! There I said it! It’s authentic, it’s real and it’s part of being human. Once the tears are dry, then there’s room for laughter. Never be afraid of who you have become through this long journey, Anissa. That’s why people love you so! Now go
    get tomorrow, like you always do…

  8. Faiqa June 6, 2011 at 1:10 PM #

    I don’t trust people who don’t cry. Just saying.

  9. Alexandra June 6, 2011 at 12:07 PM #

    I agree with Robin–the closer you are to laughter and tears on a daily basis, the closer you are to that passion that makes you a great writer. It’s hard to feel like a raw nerve all the time, but I think this kind of rawness and senstivity reminds us all that we are brillantly, messily, lovingly ALIVE.

  10. Handflapper June 6, 2011 at 11:56 AM #

    Just keep sharing your laughter and your tears, because we love you no matter what.

  11. Robin O'Bryant June 6, 2011 at 10:53 AM #

    For what it’s worth, I think this is what makes great writers great. The ability to feel deeply. I feel like writers laugh and cry easier and harder than “normal” people. It’s like we have to emote to the extreme to be able communicate these feelings with our words.

    I cry over everything too. You’re not alone Boo!

    Robin O’Bryant´s last post…Preacher’s Coming For Lunch cue inappropriate sweating

  12. Chele June 6, 2011 at 10:53 AM #

    I so know the feeling Anissa! I’m so glad Kelby sent me your way! I hate that anyone has extreme circumstances, but it is nice to know I’m not alone! And yes tears and laughter are a normal part of my life. Try to fight back those tears but sometimes emotions get the best of me! But the laughter… the laughter ALWAYS heals!

    Chele´s last post…Berrytasty Giveaway Winner for Wendy’s Announced!

  13. lceel June 6, 2011 at 10:17 AM #

    THIS is why thousands love you.

    *I wonder if the mailman knows he hurts your feelings.*

    lceel´s last post…Monday Meanders 6-5

  14. I WROTE THIS: loving lamps and tears – http://freeanissa.com/JI

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    [...] I can really relate to this since being diagnosed with cancer. She stated how she really feels! Loving lamps and tears is a heartfelt post that if you are human you would feel the ups and downs of dealing with longtime [...]

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