I had a bit of a breakthrough.
It was at Sam’s, of all places.
It gave me this Helen Keller in the midst of 42-gallon tubs of peanut butter feeling.
It was very profound.
Being in a wheelchair puts you at a constant height where you see and experience all sorts of things. (Let’s just say “camel-toe” has a whole new meaning)
I’m shorter than I used to be.
I see things that might go unnoticed by others.
I’ve got my girls and Jackie with me, helping me feed the small country that is called A TEENAGE BOY, when I see it.
My profound moment.
Wearing sweat pants and sensible shoes.
She was very heavy. He was very bald with a beer belly.
They were holding hands and you could feel the affection that radiated from them.
She said something that made him laugh and they they both cracked up like kids.
I’m betting she wasn’t that overweight when they got married.
Chances are, he didn’t have the paunch or hairline when they were newlyweds.
The changes were gradual, not sudden, but change them time did.
IT DIDN’T MATTER.
Yeah, I don’t know squat about their relationship, but I like to think that whatever changes they went through were superficial.
I do know my relationship.
I know what we’ve been through and this is hard, but not the hardest.
We didn’t make it this far to give up now.
I can’t say this new outlook will suddenly make every insecurity go away.
I WILL do my damnedest to remember that couple at Sam’s.
The way they held hands.
The love they shared.
The love WE share.
Remembering that all the changes will be superficial someday.
@AnissaMayhew writes some beautiful posts http://ow.ly/5GjOS
I remember the night my brother died and I was walking out of the hospital when I came across a short, round, white-haired couple slowly walking together. They were so clearly in tune with each other, also clearly in pain, but supporting each other. It was after noticing all that that I realized I was looking at my parents. A profound moment for me as well. After all those decades of marriage they looked nothing like their wedding photos, but they were probably closer. I’ve never looked at my parents quite the same since then – that moment made them a little more 3-D. It makes me think about my relationship with my husband too, and how to nourish that connection.
This made me all weepy. Beautiful.
This is beautiful, my love.
Steph
What a beautiful reminder of the love that we share with our spouses…or at least I do, and sounds like you do, too. Thank you so much for sharing this, Anissa!
That’s a really beautiful post and oh-so-true. Ten years in and my wife and I have experienced changes, too. Some welcome, others not so. But we roll with the punches and laugh whenever possible. Keeps us sane even if some watching us may think we’ve crossed the threshold to insanity. Whatever.
Oh, and blame Dave2 for my finding you. He doesn’t use the word “adore” lightly. And to say you’re better than chocolate pudding? I had to come read for myself.
Love is eternal
sweet babies grow to challenging teens
husbands lose their hair but gain patience
aging parents dance slower…
LOVE this post. A must read. profound moments at sam’s – http://goo.gl/rdHXc via @AnissaMayhew
Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. LOVE!!!!! this post.
(But not the fact that camel toe has a whole new meaning for you…)
Love. Love. Love. Love. Love!
Thank you for sharing this. I want to be that couple. I need the reminder to be that couple. Thank you.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes: “Love isn’t what makes the world go ’round, it’s what makes the trip worthwhile”. Now go get tomorrow, lady, like you always do. (PS I hope that
Peter reads what you wrote, Anissa.
The changes are very much superficial, accept your love together, accept that your husband knows his own mind and is showing his decision to remain your loving spouse every day, even on the days when things aren’t at there best.
Love this. Thanks.
I love this.
We need those reminders sometimes, that its not what’s on the outside, but what we fell in love with on the inside. The person that makes us laugh and feel like a kid again.
If more people would stop to realize these things…the world might be a little happier and nice. Thank you for this.
You know – I know exactly what you mean. Gradual. There’s a picture of LM and me taken years ago at a friends house. We were young – it was summer – we were both sun tanned and healthy looking – thin and happy looking.
I think all we’ve got left is ‘happy looking’ from that picture. Everything else has pretty much gone to hell in a handbasket. But this morning, as I was getting ready to go to work (some thirty years or so AFTER that picture was taken) she said, “Sit down on the bed for a minute”. I did. I looked at her, puzzled. She said, “I just want to look at you … because I love you.”
Yeah. Nice.
Beautifully written! Thank you for the reminder