A few days ago one of the kids screamed in laughter RIGHT IN MY EAR.
There was no thought about it. Not from them. Not from me.
But right after I could tell the hearing my good ear had changed.
Back story: I have partial deafness in my right ear from the stroke. I’m left with the hearing in my left ear and it’s sensitive. You won’t find me where the music is loud, I have issues hearing in crowds and perceived rudeness is usually because I didn’t hear you.
So when I thought about losing what hearing I still had, I was scared. I cried.
I had gone from perfect vision to severe eyesight problems.
I have this whole side of my body I have to constantly fight with.
My hair is growing back from falling out due to stress.
There has been so much to accept it seemed cruel to take on more at this point.
For five seconds I listened to muffled voices around me and wanted to throw myself down.
I GIVE UP.
I DON’T WANT TO LOSE MY HEARING.
It felt like too much.
And then it was over. I told Peter to take the kids for some fun while mom did some computer research to see if a dr was needed for this ear problem.
I wasn’t deaf. The hearing wasn’t gone. I could cope with this.
“Is there any pain?”
“Is there bleeding or fluid?”
“Do you hear air?”
Peter asked a few more questions, but the answer SEEMED to be that the hearing damage was temporary.
I’ll give it a few days to see if it heals as suggestions say it might.
I would say the hearing had already improved, but I don’t want to be making things up in my head.