I guess it took a reader’s comment to make realize that I’ve sort of veered away from how much of my life still centers around my handicaps.
I really do try to walk a fine between finding happiness in who I am now and that constant drive to not be THIS.
THIS is in a wheelchair.
THIS has to have someone to drive to even the simplest task.
THIS sees the constant deterioration of some thing with the improvement of others.
THIS has to remember that though this wasn’t what I wanted from life it’s better than what a lot of people have with two legs.
THIS has to keep being thankful when there are days the thanks seems harder to come by.
There is a place I fight to keep myself. The place where I find enough in the person I’ve become. The place where it is never enough and it keeps me working for more.
I fight for that place every day.
It’s hard. It’s sucks.
But the day I find myself good enough, I’ll quit fighting.
And I lose.