the one where i fight like Rocky

I guess it took a reader’s comment to make realize that I’ve sort of veered away from how much of my life still centers around my handicaps.

I really do try to walk a fine between finding happiness in who I am now and that constant drive to not be THIS.

THIS is in a wheelchair.

THIS has to have someone to drive to even the simplest task.

THIS sees the constant deterioration of some thing with the improvement of others.

THIS has to remember that though this wasn’t what I wanted from life it’s better than what a lot of people have with two legs.

THIS has to keep being thankful when there are days the thanks seems harder to come by.

There is a place I fight to keep myself.  The place where I find enough in the person I’ve become.  The place where it is never enough and it keeps me working for more.

I fight for that place every day.

It’s hard.  It’s sucks.

But the day I find myself good enough, I’ll quit fighting.

And I lose.

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8 Responses to the one where i fight like Rocky

  1. Kristin September 10, 2011 at 8:36 AM #

    Now is the time for down and dirty street fighting. You rock!

    Kristin´s last post…I Remember

  2. Megan {Velveteen Mind} September 9, 2011 at 6:11 PM #

    Fight dirty if you have to.

    Megan {Velveteen Mind}´s last post…Do What You’re Doing While You’re Doing It

  3. Jane Gassner September 9, 2011 at 4:51 PM #

    You popped up in my Google+ account today, I added you to one of my circles, but I thought I should also come over and say hi. I don’t know if we met at BlogHer several years ago, but I heard all about your stroke from mutual friends. I had a ruptured cerebral aneurysm seven years ago which, according to the experts, is just another way of saying stroke–so I get it. I can tell you that things are still improving for me all these years later, so the thing about getting where you’re going to go in two years is pretty much BS. I think we should form a special group of bloggers whose brains are just so major they’ve exploded!

  4. Susie September 9, 2011 at 4:09 PM #

    Ah, I don’t think you fight like Rocky…I think you fight like Anissa. There’s a big difference, kiddo. Rocky was a movie, YOU are real life. You are a fighter that fights each day, goes to bed exhausted only to wake up the next and keeps on going. Now go get tomorrow, Anissa, (like you always do)…

    • Peter Mayhew September 11, 2011 at 11:19 PM #

      I always wonder why they made a statue of Rocky…..

  5. Twenty Four At Heart September 9, 2011 at 2:02 PM #

    You will fight, and fight, and fight – it is what we do. I’ve “only” lost one arm. I’ve “only” gained severe chronic pain … but every day I fight for a bit of normalcy. I’m grateful for what I have. I know things could be (a lot) worse. Sometimes I mourn what I’ve lost. A lot of times I want to give up – but people like you and I never give up Anissa. It’s why I heart you so much. (There’s a place in this world for one-armed photographers and bitchin’ women in wheelchairs after all!!) xoxoxo

    Twenty Four At Heart´s last post…The Lizard Man In My Backyard

  6. Redneck Mommy September 9, 2011 at 10:07 AM #

    Keep fighting Nissa. You aren’t lost. You are shining like a star. Only sometimes, you can’t see it. Don’t worry. I can and everyone else does too.

  7. the one where i fight like Rocky: I guess it took a reader’s comment to make realize that I’ve sort of veered aw…

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