when my after-school special doesn’t feel so special

It seems funny that I went out to speak on a panel called “Exposed: When Blogging gets Too Personal”, and I REALLY had to think about whether I wanted to write this post.

Because it seemed too personal.

To read.

To write.

To admit something that wasn’t anything that my “fault” but STILL kept insanely close to the vest.

There are things I’m allowed to talk about with my handicap that seem “ok”.

Accessibility. Rehab. Family & Relationships.


THIS made me squirm a little.

But, it’s a fact. It’s a part of the life and something not JUST affecting stroke-victims but a lot of different people who may not feel comfortable saying it.

Because of the amount of medication I have to take it causes my skin to think I’m fourteen-years-old and the meds go through my system so my urine smells like I’ve been on a six day gin bender.

Which would be GREAT if I liked gin.

But I don’t.

So it feel more like this.

Charlie Brown!

It’s just accepting another facet of myself that I’m less than pleased about.

It’s knowing that as long as I’m on these medications (which is forever) these are side effects I’ve got to get used to.

It’s realizing that these are small prices to pay to stay alive.

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16 Responses to when my after-school special doesn’t feel so special

  1. Rachel November 8, 2011 at 6:53 PM #

    As an infertile person, I spend most of my time peeing on sticks.

    My pee doesn’t stink, but I hate it just the same because it never says “pregnant”. :)

    Rachel´s last post…R-E-S-P-E-C-T

    • Anissa Mayhew November 8, 2011 at 10:57 PM #

      Damn pee not cooperating!!

  2. jb November 8, 2011 at 1:43 PM #

    this post struck me – its the fact that everything – but no really everything – is different now. I love reading what you write, rarely comment but today – had to comment on your bravery and honesty and willingness to keep talking about all of it. Thank you.

    • Anissa Mayhew November 8, 2011 at 10:56 PM #

      it was really hard to push the “publish” button on this one but the first comment that said it was THEIR first time admitting it made it worthwhile.

  3. Suebob November 8, 2011 at 1:05 AM #

    It must be pee confession day! I had already left this comment over at Alice Bradley’s place: …as a menopausal woman, I have found a lovely new trick. When I puke, I pee. So the wonder of puking is compounded by the embarrassment of pissing oneself. Lack of bladder control is so freaking charming.

    Suebob´s last post…Scratching my head

    • Anissa Mayhew November 8, 2011 at 10:54 PM #

      I would so laugh at this but i’d probably pee at that too!

  4. dusty earth mother November 7, 2011 at 10:36 PM #

    Sssshhh, my pee smells rank and I don’t take any medication. Thanks for letting me confess, Anissa.

    • Anissa Mayhew November 7, 2011 at 11:13 PM #

      Stinky pee-ers UNITE!!

  5. Ann November 7, 2011 at 10:35 PM #

    My pee confession: My whole house sometimes smells like pee from my 4 yo’s lack of aim. THANK YOU OPEN FLOOR PLAN! And it smells horribly. And it embarrasses me and makes me feel like a terrible housekeeper, which is a ridiculously easy shame-spiral away from worthless mother on some days.

    I know it’s not the same, but this my pee-confession.

    Ann´s last post…Husband’s Holiday Planning Guide

    • Anissa Mayhew November 7, 2011 at 11:12 PM #

      A pee confession is a pee confession. I love you, Ann!

  6. Susan in the Boonies November 7, 2011 at 4:20 PM #

    Stinky pee happens. Just like #2 happens.

    You’re right: it’s a small price to pay, I guess, for us to get to keep you on this planet a while longer yet.

    And I’m glad we do.

    Susan in the Boonies´s last post…Do I Dare to Eat a Peach?

    • Anissa Mayhew November 7, 2011 at 11:11 PM #

      Remember that the next time I want to spoon with you!

  7. CJ November 7, 2011 at 2:17 PM #

    Mine smells if I eat asparagus! It’s all good.

    • Anissa Mayhew November 7, 2011 at 11:10 PM #

      I’m definitely never eating asparagus at your house! xox

  8. Kris November 7, 2011 at 2:06 PM #

    It smells when I pee too. Sometimes you just have to get used to it. :( I’ve never admitted it except here, so thanks for admitting it yourself. :)

    Kris´s last post…Still testing, still positive

    • Anissa Mayhew November 7, 2011 at 11:09 PM #

      Thank you for understanding and being willing to share it here.

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