Whether it’s a conference or a meetup or just a meeting out, there are certain rules when it comes to meeting me.
So, let’s get down to what I like to call “Anissa’s Rules of Engagement”
- I can’t see you when I’m moving or far away – This might be partially fixed by the eye-surgeries I’m scheduled to have but chances ARE that if you are left thinking “GOD, what a bitch! I waved and she didn’t wave back.”I COULDN’T SEE YOU. Because of the eye weakness (that the surgery is supposed to help fix) I have, I have trouble focusing on anything that is moving. THEN! Because the muscles spasm in my right eye (another surgery), everything is always moving.
- I have trouble hearing when there is a lot of background noise – My hearing aide is supposed to help fix this when I get it. But the reason I avoid loud/noisy places is because I can’t hear at all. I spend a lot of time in hallways and outside of things because of the noise. Not because I don’t want to talk to you. If I AM in an area where you’re surprised to see me, I probably have earplugs in, AND CAN’T HEAR SH*T. If you want to have a conversation of any substance, you’ll wait till I can hear. Otherwise, I’ll nod and smile A LOT.
- You may not have expected it but I have a speech problem - I talk wonky, quieter and my throat gets dry very easily. Things come out of my mouth that probably shouldn’t. But I don’t think I can blame that on the strokes.
- The wheelchair is like a really big scarf – feel free to compliment me on it, ask to borrow it, if you have any questions the kids named the new wheelchair Bertha.
- I won’t break – people hug me, sit in my lap. step on my feet, knocked my arm off the wheelchair…but get between me and the coffee and I will report you to security as someone who mugs the handicapped. NO LIE.
Seriously, that’s really it.
What you have read or tweeted is pretty much what you get.
<sarcasm>I know you’re thrilled by that.</sarcasm>