sometimes you just want to be shallow

I wrote this post at Babble about teaching your kids to appreciate beauty, whatever form it comes in.

I run a site where we constantly preach the lesson of a positive body image.

I even make sure to post lots of pictures on Twitter and Facebook about “loving your body”.

I believe in that stuff.

I truly think it’s a fact that each person is capable of incredible beauty based on their confidence, intelligence and self.

I look around me and can see this tremendous beauty where people don’t see it in themselves.

Now there are those that are really pretty. Those that have glamorous looks. Those that take aesthetic perfection to a new level.

I hate to tell you, that’s easy.

As a past photographer and handy Photoshop user, I could make you look like Scarlet Johannsen.

I could take away pounds.

I could take away wrinkles.


I couldn’t make you funny.

I couldn’t make you a person others valued.

I couldn’t make you a stronger, more resilient person.

How are the traits most important in others so hard to find most important in myself?

Why do I let myself constantly feel diminished by the face that isn’t right? The side that doesn’t work?

To be very ego-centric I’m doing what was NEVER expected and better than EVER anticipated.

I’m proud of that.


But it doesn’t stop me from having those days I just want to be pretty.


You can read my top 10 reasons for getting my tubes tied!!!

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4 Responses to sometimes you just want to be shallow

  1. DogsDontPurr January 19, 2012 at 8:16 PM #

    I totally hear you. I’m only 44, but I have a progressive nerve disease that forces me to use a walker and causes my body to sag. A wheelchair is not to far off in my future. Because it is hard to walk, I’ve had to give up my girlie shoes for the most ugly orthopedically correct neanderthal flat shoes. I joke with my husband that when the time comes for a wheelchair, I’m going on a shopping spree for the tallest, most stacked, platform, high heeled, f*ck~me pumps ever! See, I won’t be able to walk, but at least my feet will look hot while I’m sitting in the chair! So that’s something.

    ((hugs)) We’re all in this together.

    DogsDontPurr´s last post…Bloody Mary's instead of vegetables

  2. Truthful Mommy January 18, 2012 at 1:12 PM #

    I see your beauty because your beauty within resonates without. That being said, I tell people all day long about loving themselves and teach my girls to love themselves, to feel like more than enough. But MYSELF, I do not. I am never satisfied with my looks, my body, my weight. This makes me feel broken and subpar.
    I know that I am smart and I know that I am funny and I know I have a big, loud personality but for some reason, I still want to be pretty. I think we all do.At the very least, we want to FEEL pretty. Just try looking at your children’s faces when they look at you longingly with love and perfection and TRY for a minute to realize that to them YOU ARE PERFECT and that,my friend, should count for something. Look in your husband’s eyes when he goes in to give you a good night kiss, you will see your beauty reflected back in his love. Maybe this will help you to feel pretty.

    Truthful Mommy´s last post…Blackout

  3. Faiqa January 18, 2012 at 12:15 PM #

    It’s okay that you feel that way. I think we all do in different ways and for different reasons.

    Ideal behavior and how we’re *supposed* to look at ourselves is a goal, not always our reality. Sometimes we make the mark, other times we miss it. From what I see, you make the mark way more than you don’t, and that’s good enough.

  4. Alexandra January 18, 2012 at 11:12 AM #

    Because you’re human.

    I give talks to area churches, high school groups, young moms clubs, on the importance of self acceptance.

    And what’s my first thought up there?

    I wish I were taller, stronger, more physically present on stage.

    I have so much I want to say, to all the young woman I talk to: and all I think is how much more powerful I’d seem if I were taller faster stronger louder.

    We;re all human, Anissa…

    and I see your beauty, but I also hear you.


    Alexandra´s last post…Sprocket Ink

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