I’m taking something deeply personally and dealing with it in a way that is incredibly public.
I was asked to keep it more private.
And I thought about it.
I really did.
Did I want everyone knowing that I failed at my marriage?
That I’m choosing to end a union I had once vowed my forever?
The sheer magnitude of my vulnerability.
Not really. NO.
But did I want to share every moment of my daughter’s cancer?
My failures as parent through treatment.
Did I want to want to let you watch as I came back from the strokes?
Has it been easy to take picture and videos of my handicaps?
Did I go with the easy way out with the physical side of my recovery.
How were those things not personal?
Why was it ok to make THAT public, but I was supposed to hide this choice that, although hard, was somehow RIGHT.
I have worked really hard to not make this more one-sided than it has to be.
Partly because that’s not how I want this.
But, more importantly, the kids might read this and I want them to knew that these posts were never about GETTING MY WAY.
It’s just that writing has always been MY WAY OF DEALING.