things you can’t un-say

In the heat of arguing things get said with intent to hurt, to destroy, to mar.

Afterwards come the apologies, the explanations.

So hurt.

Didn’t mean it.

Was a mistake.

Didn’t stop it from hurting.

Doesn’t suddenly make it ok.

OH….You didn’t MEAN it.

That changes everything.

It still devastated.

It flayed the the layers of my soul.

You’re so sorry so you said it.

I am too.

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9 Responses to things you can’t un-say

  1. Connie February 19, 2012 at 7:35 PM #

    (((HUGS))) I wish I could offer more but for now my hope is for happiness, in whatever form it takes for you, and soon.


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  2. The Animated Woman February 15, 2012 at 10:24 PM #


    The Animated Woman´s last post…The Outsider Parents Club.

  3. Pattie February 14, 2012 at 1:53 PM #

    I’m so sorry things are so tough for you right now. :(

    Pattie´s last post…Lucky 13: Our Engagement Story

  4. Naomi February 13, 2012 at 12:03 PM #

    Sending heart hugs, Anissa. <3

  5. Diana February 13, 2012 at 10:39 AM #

    I don’t think it applies just to marriage. I think disclaimers are like apologies- the words are still out there and a disclaimer does not forgive the hurt you will cause. Nor does it excuse you from what you did.

    Diana´s last post…Food News Feb 12, 2011

  6. DefendUSA February 13, 2012 at 7:11 AM #

    I don’t have a perfect marriage, and I have thought sometimes that maybe I should leave for the exact things that cannot be unsaid. I have made it a practice for our 25 years not to say things that cannot be taken back. I have done a good job at it, too. My husband, not so much. I have called him an asshole when warranted, or told him to eff off. But I have not said the things to my husband that will leave a scar in the way that my best friend did to me.

    He has left scars, too, but for example’s sake, I’ll use her. She told me that I would have jumped ship in a red hot second for someone who made more money than my husband, because all I cared about was money. She told me that I was not a “good” Christian because two of my children had not received baptism or confirmation! Yep. Those things will forever swirl in my brain and my heart. I can move forward without her.

    There may come a time when it’s too much for me to bear, but I haven’t gotten there.

  7. Trina @ Walking With Scissors February 12, 2012 at 11:54 PM #

    Anissa, I am so sorry for what you’re dealing with. I am also in the process of a divorce and it is completely devastating. My soon-to-be ex is still living here and the terrible things he says to me take my breath away. I don’t know how I’m going to get through it but the fact is that I will. And so will you. Anytime you need to talk, I’m just an email away. I need as much support as I can get too.

    Trina @ Walking With Scissors´s last post…Empire Reel 2011 Gift Card Holiday Program Review

  8. MFA Mama February 12, 2012 at 12:42 PM #

    Yep. In every failed marriage there is at least one “thing that can’t be unsaid.” And they really can’t, can they? Especially not by “I didn’t mean it.” *sigh*

    MFA Mama´s last post…words with perverts

  9. Kristin February 12, 2012 at 12:31 PM #


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