who loves the kids?

Parents in a situation like ours have a ROUGH LIFE.

There is no easy way to separate something that was never intended to be separated.

We didn’t live our lives with the thought that someday we would have split it up.

Parents have an incredibly hard job.

Divorcing parents can make a hard job EVEN harder.

Under the constant strain, two parent can stand across from each other yelling about how much they love kids.

I LOVE THE KIDS MORE.

NO, I LOVE THEM MORE!

HOW COULD YOU LOVE THE KIDS MORE?

I.LOVE.THE.KIDS.

And while the two of you are arguing about that great parental love, who is loving those kids like they deserve?

Are the kids seeing seeing you fight about who loves them more?

Do they care?

Or are they just seeing Mommy and Daddy fight again?

Respecting my family, there are details that you just don’t need to know yet.

But you DO need to know that WE made the decision our kids will NEVER SEE IT AGAIN.

 

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7 Responses to who loves the kids?

  1. ben February 25, 2012 at 10:58 PM #

    best of luck to you

  2. Lee February 5, 2012 at 9:25 PM #

    Hi Anissa, I have followed you from afar and am BFF’s with Erin Margolin…She sent me over and well…I’m sorry that you are going through this. It sucks. Don’t play games, be honest, love your kids, take care of yourself, don’t beat yourself up, love yourself, love yourself, love yourself and LOVE yourself. Lee

    Lee´s last post…Blending Families Brady Bunch Style

  3. Jeanette February 5, 2012 at 4:06 PM #

    The basis of every single decision you make needs to be whats in the kids best interest.

    I am just a lowly stepmother, but from my perspective, everything I’ve ever done with my stepchild has been based in whats best for her. She comes first, even in my marriage. The kids didn’t ask for the divorce, or the chaos that comes with it. So its best to try to keep it to a minimum, even if its the right thing for you and your husband. Its a wise woman that realizes this early when all the feelings are so fresh and painful. They need both of you to remember them, and advocate for them.

    Disassembling a life made together is hard under the best of circumstances.

    We dont know each other, but Ive been following you for years, I offer you support, love, and a shoulder if you ever need it.

  4. Dawn February 4, 2012 at 2:46 PM #

    It’s a battle that no one wins. Not you, not him, not the kids. YOU both know what’s best, even if it hurts like hell. *HUGS*

  5. Susie February 4, 2012 at 1:24 PM #

    I never understand when two parents say “I love the kids” and then fight in front of them–about anything.

    My sister & I had a childhood that many dream about. We lived in a house from the time we were 3 & 4 until my 2nd year of college. I don’t remember my parents fighting ever! I know this sounds untrue, but it just didn’t happen. I know in my heart that they did have fights, but they chose to have those disagreements when we were not there. Maybe they went out to the car in the garage, I really have no idea.

    My point is I wouldn’t be the person I am today unless they had made that choice. And it IS a choice. I’ve read from varied experts that fighting in front of the kids is never a good can do irreparable harm to their long-term self-worth. Many times kids can blame themselves for their parents’ fighting.

    I don’t know the reasons WHY you and Peter are divorcing, and really do feel it’s between you both. What I do applaud, Anissa, is that you have both made a decision that from this moment forward will be the best gift to your three kids you have ever given them.

    Take care of yourself. The divorce process is never easy. Try to focus on what is really important–your kids! My hope is that both of you–in every situation–ask yourselves: “What can I do to make sure that the BEST interests of OUR kids is paramount?”

    Now go get tomorrow, like you always do…

  6. kpotterb February 4, 2012 at 12:52 PM #

    That’s the hardest part. For those that can work it amicably, I salute you.

  7. Eryn February 4, 2012 at 12:50 PM #

    The energy that goes into that 1-up-man-ship is so better spent elsewhere & I am proud of you for realizing it.

    Much love to you.

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