being enough parent for my kids

We’ve raised monsters.

Amazing, incredible monsters.

It’s such a weird line I walk between being as firm as they need and as lenient as they deserve.

These kids have been through thing that would break most adults.

Cancer. A come. Strokes. A life transformed to deal with a handicap.

Now they have parents going through a separation but choosing to stay in the same home.

Nothing is ever typical or easy for these kids.

It’s so  hard because when I see them doing things a child would normally get reprimanded for, part of me thinks haven’t my kids gone through enough?

While part of me thinks you aren’t doing them any favor by letting them act like douche-bandits.

I struggle with the mother they’d remember if I had another stroke tomorrow.

If I were to die who would I leave for them?

The mom that worked to teach them how to act in every situation or the mom that taught them to love laughter.

It’s never easy.

I don’t do it right.

There is no RIGHT.

I’M DOING MY BEST.

Sometimes I feel like maybe they deserve better.

*sigh*

You can read the 10 things I don’t like about being a girl here

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6 Responses to being enough parent for my kids

  1. Goon Squad Sarah March 9, 2012 at 12:05 PM #

    Your best IS right.

  2. Barbi Emel March 9, 2012 at 9:10 AM #

    Parenthood always involves guilt. It’s natural, you’re doing a fine job and we’re allowed to make mistakes along the way. Nobody’s perfect.

  3. Kristin March 9, 2012 at 2:18 AM #

    The good moms almost always second guess themselves. You are definitely one of the good moms. {{{Hugs}}}

    Kristin´s last post…International Women’s Day

  4. Diane March 8, 2012 at 6:20 PM #

    I know it has to be hard. Know that you are enough. My aunt had a stroke before I hit my teens. I hurt inside for her and selfishly for me too. But ALL of my memories of her now circle around what a wonderful woman she was, how hard she worked and how much she loved me.

    Discipline or none, it’s the love I will always remember. The fact that you are even posting this speaks volumes about how much you care. They can feel that xxo

  5. ChristiS March 8, 2012 at 5:21 PM #

    Sweetie, I had no idea that you all were going through a separation. You are in my prayers even more than usual!! I know that you can’t have come to this decision easily and I pray that you receive God’s guidance on where to go from here. Marriage is never easy, and you two have been through enough for several!! Hang in there, girl. You are one of the strongest people I know, and I respect and love you!!

    ChristiS´s last post…New Year’s Resolution

  6. Nancy P March 8, 2012 at 4:05 PM #

    . My sons are 23 & 25 and I STILL think of the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. Show that sometimes thought to the curb. Your love for your children comes through loud and clear. There is no bettter for them than you. Big hugs from one mom to another.

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