always take the phone to the bathroom with you

When I went to NYC to attend BlogHer and my roomies Leila and Robin went to see the Katie Couric while I stayed in the room to get ready.

She was the speaker. They didn’t kidnap her and make her talk like a trained monkey. 

The bathroom floors were really slippery and I ended up slipping and landing on my butt!

When I fall and am holding onto something, like I was, I fall I-N-S-L-O-W-M-O-T-I-O-N. My rear didn’t enjoy the floor, but it wasn’t the * crash* you think it was.

Noting the time on my phone, I knew Katie was still on stage.

So I waited.

I played Words With Friends. I read through emails. I did a little tweeting.

Then both Robin and Leila texted me. I knew the keynote was over.

“Whatcha doing?” -> Robin

“Is Katie done?” -> me

“Where are you?” ->  Leila

“Yeah! She was great!” -> Robin

“Sitting on the bathroom floor.” -> me

“Are you kidding?” -> Leila

“No, but it’s ok. I’m winning” -> me

“WTF!!” -> Robin (obviously they were together still)

“We”re on our way up!!” -> Leila

If you haven’t been to a huge hotel where there’s several conferences of thousands of people all happening simultaneously and something lets out you can only imagine the hot mess of humanity waiting on elevators.

Well, Robin and Leila weren’t waiting.

I was on the floor dammit!

They decided to elevator hop.

They rode elevator 1 to floor 6 and got out.

Caught elevator 2 to floor 11 and got out.

Caught elevator 3 to floor 26 and got out.

We were on the 39th floor.

And usually when an elevator in uncomfortably full you’ll just smile and wait. Robin and Leila shoved everyone back. THEY WERE NOT WAITING!

They got on one particularly full elevator and Robin says “I’m sorry! We have to get upstairs! Our roommate’s on the bathroom floor. She has two strokes!”

I think I just figured out why Robin will never be a news anchor.

From the back of the crowded car came a gasp.

“ROBIN!!!!!!!” it was Maggie, founder of the site for which I am a board member.

Explanations were given. They finally reached our floor. They burst through the door.

Moral of the story?

Bunnies are soft.

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12 Responses to always take the phone to the bathroom with you

  1. jecca September 11, 2012 at 2:19 AM #

    Taking phones everywhere is always a good idea. I… never thought I’d say the same about “Queefy bollocks” signs, but.

    I’m now imagining a pair of bollocks that makes a kind of soft, melancholy wheezing sound when you squeeze them.

    jecca´s last post…Give ‘em what they want.

  2. The Animated Woman September 10, 2012 at 11:09 AM #

    Yes, for goodness sakes, always bring your celphone with you everywhere. Now what the heck are ‘queefy bollocks”?

    The Animated Woman´s last post…The UNICORN, the UNIVERSE and boots.

  3. Miss Britt September 10, 2012 at 9:01 AM #

    Moral of the story: your attitude fucking rocks.

    Also, you pick the best roommates, because I would have been like “OH, good, you’ve got your phone. I’m going to try and get Katie’s number and I’ll be up pretty much right after that. Right-after-ish.”

    Miss Britt´s last post…Happiness Highlights: Always Time for Gratitude

  4. Robin Plemmons September 9, 2012 at 1:56 PM #

    Never a dull moment with you, my darling. xoxo

    Robin Plemmons´s last post…6 Things That Make Me Happy

  5. kyooty September 8, 2012 at 11:30 AM #

    I love that you have signage!

    kyooty´s last post…Lunches are on my Mind

  6. Cindy Brooks September 8, 2012 at 2:25 AM #

    Thank God you weren’t seriously hurt! Cell phones are our friends. I’m not a chatter, but I honestly don’t know how I grew up and got this old without one!

  7. Delfin Joaquin Paris III September 7, 2012 at 5:35 PM #

    Amazing that Leila and Robin came to your aid. I sent multiple tweets and texts and both those tricks never even responded. This was awesome as I knew not one person at BlogHer.

    Delfin Joaquin Paris III´s last post…This Was Written In The Nude

  8. Leila (Don't Speak Whinese) September 7, 2012 at 1:21 PM #

    OMG… I love you so much and miss you a crapton now. We also hopped some stairs and I smacked someone with my bags.

    After Robin said our friend had a stroke and everyone on the elevator started freaking out her recovery from that was the best “No no! I mean she USED to have a stroke…”

    wait.. what?!

    Us all rooming together is entertaining for sure!

    Leila (Don’t Speak Whinese)´s last post…The definition of influence and choosing empowerment


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