what i see

Put a piece of Saran Wrap with Vaseline on it over your eyes. I need glasses but my surgeries have caused my prescription to change so much the doctor wants me to wait a few months to get a new pair.

Probably wise.

Until then though I’ll be looking at world with KY-covered eyes.

Who doesn’t know Stevie Wonder? You remember the trademark movement he made?

If I’m too tired or haven’t taken my meds on time I bob and weave.


I feel like I’m fighting the inevitable.

There are days I just want to lay back and call it quits. I’m done. I give up.

It wins.

My body wins.

Then my mind starts it’s simple roaring. The screaming in my ears.

“We don’t lay down for anything. Get up. We have good reasons to get back up. Make the most of what you can with the half you still have.”

I get up and move forward.

I hope I take more than Stevie’s body language.

I want his ability to see greatness in the talents laid before him.

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7 Responses to what i see

  1. DJones October 5, 2012 at 10:11 AM #

    Keep fighting. I had early stage breast cancer at the age of 34 two years ago. I still live in fear (not constant, but nagging) that is will come back, and deal daily with some crappy side effects my anti-cancer medicine gives me. You are my inspiration, and the reason I don’t feel sorry for myself and fight to stay healthy and optimistic for my son!

  2. Alexandra October 1, 2012 at 1:38 PM #

    You are so beautiful.

    So beautiful.

    That sense of humor that makes me fall in love with you just as I did when I first discovered you over four years ago: “I am a sniper’s nightmare.”

    Beautiful Anissa. I smile when I think of how my three children know your full name, they’ll see your picture up on my screen and say, “Anissa Mayhew.”

    Yes, kids, Anissa Mayhew. I’m so lucky I know her …

    Alexandra´s last post…ICYMI

  3. L.McG.-E. October 1, 2012 at 10:20 AM #

    You are a wonderful person, keep on getting up and kicking ass. I am so sorry about your vision.

    L.McG.-E.´s last post…On cozy mornings in October.

  4. Jamie@SouthMainMuse September 28, 2012 at 12:34 PM #

    I am so very sorry re the frustration of your vision. I can’t imagine how madding that must be. I complain to high heaven now that I’ve reach the age of needing cheater-readers. It is so very frustrating not to be able to see. Not only do you have talent — with most great artists, depth of expression comes from overcoming depth of despair. Your strength will propel that talent.

    Jamie@SouthMainMuse´s last post…Holding on. Or letting go?

  5. Maggie S. September 28, 2012 at 7:44 AM #

    You reminded me of something I’d forgotten. Someone who was an important teacher and role model loved Stevie. He’s one of the people in my life who stayed the course and lived his ideal. That movement that Stevie made? Very precious to me.

    One of your talents is digging deep. I love that. The world needs to go deep

  6. Anne September 27, 2012 at 3:23 PM #

    You are a fighter. I’m sorry you never have to stop fighting.

    Anne´s last post…The Embarrassing White Pants Story.

  7. Marie September 27, 2012 at 12:04 PM #

    Plus he can really sing!!
    No autotune, no loud backup singers – just talent. Just he and the microphone.
    I’ve always loved Stevie Wonder. No one gets by in life without some tragedies, trials, tribulations. Some curl up and give up. Some do not.
    I wanted to for a long time, but I don’t either, gotta keep moving forward.

    Hugs from Minnesota

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