the ticking clock

There’s a clock I hear in the back of my head that counts down

TICK TICK TICK.

The one that looks at my kids and sees them growing and changing every day. They were just babies yesterday.

TICK.

Our situation may be it’s own flavor of complicated but this spring Peter and I will have been married 15 years. We were out at our first lunch just days ago.

TICK.

My best friend and I met on a school bus in high school. We’re still best friends but now we’re the mothers of high schoolers.

TICK.

With the help of the most amazing friend anywhere I built Aiming Low and sustained it during a major crisis. This year we saw an inklink of an idea become a reality. We built something from nothing but our determination and belief.

TICK.

I look at my body and wonder when it will fail me. Every day the threat breathes down my throat. Not an abstract thought of mortality but the very real, very tangible fact that a moment will come when I stop.

TICK.

The clock ticks on. It tells me to live as much as I can in what short time I’m given. It tells me to love wholly and never to waste time on those that want to hurt me in their small and petty ways. It tells me to glory in the beauty of love and laughter and friendship. These are the memories and lessons I want to leave behind. I feel lucky to know that if I had died in that restaurant three years ago I would have regretted so many things, but is if I died today (I wouldn’t be happy about it, I have a hair appointment tomorrow to get my roots done) I’ve lived as much as I can. I’ve taught my kids what I treasure about them.

TICK.

I may not have a tomorrow to go to Paris.

TICK.

That’s ok. For now, the clock keeps ticking.

 

 

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6 Responses to the ticking clock

  1. Liz @ The Six Year Itch November 1, 2012 at 10:29 PM #

    Amazing and true. Love this.

    Liz @ The Six Year Itch´s last post…After the Storm

  2. Colleen Crawford October 31, 2012 at 10:22 PM #

    “Those that want to hurt me in their small and petty ways.” Aw, who would want to hurt you? Those people are just specks of dust that we shall blow away. You make this world a better place.

  3. Laurie October 31, 2012 at 9:53 PM #

    I know you will beat me up if I say the “I” word, but I just need to say that there are times lately when I want to stop everything and give it up, and you’re one of the people who pops into my head and reminds me that that is not an option. We just keep going, until we can’t.

    I do love you, Anissa. Keep rocking it out. (And I don’t want to go out with my roots not done, either. My mother would be the only person more appalled than I would be.)

    Laurie´s last post…Aiming Low NonCon: All Good

  4. Leila (Don't Speak Whinese) October 30, 2012 at 8:48 PM #

    Every moment counts is something I focus on regularly. You help me live this daily. I freaking love you even if this made me teary.

    Leila (Don’t Speak Whinese)´s last post…Halloween with Food Allergies: Tips on making the most of it!

  5. Shannon October 30, 2012 at 7:02 PM #

    Inspiring words.
    Everyone’s clock ticks, but some of us don’t hear it so well. Thanks for helping me to not only hear the ticks today, but to appreciate each one.

    Shannon´s last post…Smiling with Deepak

  6. Jessica October 30, 2012 at 6:41 PM #

    Amazing words and love how you appreciate that ticking clock.

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