friendship blackmail

“I won’t be your friend anymore!”

I heard that shouted through my office window from some girls playing with my 8yo.

I didn’t hear what the little girl wanted but I’d heard enough of the fight to know that this child was already used to emotional games to get her way.

Part of me said “this is just kid stuff and they have to learn to deal with it”.

Another part of me said “OH HELL NO SHE DID NOT SAY THAT“!

Thankfully, the sane part of me ruled out and I called the girls in for a chat. The argument was over a particular bike that was pink and lit up. The other girl and Peyton were worried they’d get in trouble and quickly offered to let the angry girl have the bike.

I was very quick to tell the girls that they weren’t in trouble at all. Any of them. We just had a rule st our house that EVERYONE shared and got a turn and we did not tell people we wouldn’t be their friend if we didn’t get our way.

Shouting-girl, tearfully, told me she wanted to call her mom,

I heard her tell her mom to come and get her I was mean. After her mom talked her off the elementary school edge the girls went back to playing.

But it struck me that at 8yo this little girl knew how to manipulate to her advantage. It would only get worse with age.

I’ve used emotional blackmail and been the victim. I’ve seen it batter friendships and shatter relationships. A part of us aches when we’re on the receiving end of emotional blackmail.

It hurts.

Your soul bleeds.

You’re left a little less when you realize what’s been done.

Sometimes it can b e fixed and sometimes it’s left beyond repair.

I won’t be your friend anymore. A sentence said to threaten you with the a friendship gone.

I CAN’T be your friend anymore. A sentence said to protect yourself from a friendship with someone that doesn’t treat you like a friend.

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2 Responses to friendship blackmail

  1. Delfin Joaquin Paris III November 3, 2012 at 9:52 PM #

    Whenever I want to threaten it’s usually because I’m not in touch with the emotion I’m feeling which is almost always anger.

    My aversion to dealing with anger results in me threatening someone. Instead I should say, “I’m angry at you because of the bike.”

    Of course, little kids aren’t able to do this. But it’s a lesson I’m going to try to teach mine if I ever get around to having some.

    Delfin Joaquin Paris III´s last post…I’ve Used Women As My To-Do List – A Confession

  2. Jamie@SouthMainMuse November 3, 2012 at 5:48 PM #

    Young girls are the worst at this. My daughter returned from a spend the night party this morning. It was with her best friends (two sisters) and when the play alone all is fine. Add more girls to the mix and the competition for the most BFFs begins. I told her it was the same way at sleepovers when I was her age. Girls ganging up on each other. Maybe boys take if out on the athletic field. Girls seem to do it with words.

    Jamie@SouthMainMuse´s last post…Project Runway, Madison GA. Chris Hudson Couture.

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