raw on the internet

When I write on the Internet I always give a piece of myself.

I like to think everyone who blogs understands that feeling of baring their soul and letting everyone watch. Becoming the center on your own voyeuristic, emotional peep show.

But some posts more than others leave me feeling raw, exposed.

After I push “publish” I wonder if it’ll affect the reader the way it affected the writer.

I have posts that come from my finger that feel that way but every video I put out there feels that way.

Who cares if my hair’s right? The lighting and whether I’m wearing makeup is trivial.

People see me.

Some for the first time.

Some can compare with who I used to be.

They can see my crookedness, the paralysis, the disability.

They can read. I can tell them. They can know. Pictures in still-life are one thing. But this is my voice in video. Telling a tale of my daily life for all to see.

Leaving me feeling very raw in the aftermath. And slightly disturbed about the kitchen.

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7 Responses to raw on the internet

  1. Laura January 29, 2013 at 1:07 PM #

    I agree with Animated Woman – I was pleased to see how much you have progressed. Your openness is sure to help so many but do take care of yourself, too. I can see how that would be draining. And lets just all agree to ignore our kitchens.

  2. Naomi January 12, 2013 at 2:15 AM #

    (and slightly disturbed about those bangs!)

    Vulnerability is a powerful, powerful thing!

    Naomi´s last post…Box 53b

  3. Mary/Kyooty January 10, 2013 at 8:23 AM #

    I get it. We all have something we Don’t want “out there”. I go to ww, this weeks’ assignment if I choose to accept it? Is taking a picture of my fridge and contents. Do you know how hard it is not to want to clean it first? The main reason I take pics of that chair? are because if anyone saw the inside of the house? they’d scream, or call someone. :) I love your writing, your videos, pics and your truth.

    Mary/Kyooty´s last post…First Wordless Wednesday Post 2013, Sunbathing Chair

  4. Beth Krippner January 9, 2013 at 1:30 PM #

    You know what? I think you’re f***ing awesome. (But my kitchen sucks more than yours does, so ha.) I would love to meet you someday and tell you in person! :-)

  5. Susan in the Boonies January 9, 2013 at 11:05 AM #

    I’ve only known you for a year or so, so it’s hard to describe how moving it was for me to see the video of you from before the stroke.
    I’m glad I know you now. I wish I’d known you then as well.
    Isn’t it ironic how in putting your clothes on you disrobed emotionally?
    I don’t know that I could ever allow myself to be that vulnerable.
    You have such a powerful voice, my friend.

    Susan in the Boonies´s last post…Goat Cheese Ice Cream with Boozy Cherries and Hot Fudge Sauce

  6. The Animated Woman January 9, 2013 at 10:50 AM #

    My kitchen is waaaaay worse.

    It’s interesting to see these two videos back to back. But there’s a video missing and that’s the one from just after your strokes. You’ve come a long way baby.

    The Animated Woman´s last post…PickleWeasel PROMO!


  1. I will. I WILL. Will you? | Erin Margolin - January 22, 2013

    [...]  I will admire friends like Heather King, who is three years sober; like Rita Arens, who has a new YA novel coming out, called The Obvious Game; friends like Greta Funk who lost her husband several years ago, but writes about shedding labels like “widow”; friends like Anissa Mayhew who has survived strokes and blogs in the raw. [...]

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