take me to dinner first

It’s a good thing I’m ok with getting felt up in public in public because the security check I have to go through with TSA is borderline second base.

With the normal removing of shoes, bags and pocket fodder, I have to go through a special pat-down because of the wheelchair and my inability to walk through metal detectors.

While all my stuff is going through inspection, I am physically being taken to a special area (unfortunately not private, everyone gets the chance to see this, it’s great).

In the special area a female TSA agent literally feels me up, top to bottom, front and back, side to side. The only people who have known me better are my husband and my ob/gyn and even they had to tell me their name first.

The do swabs of of my chair, some have mirrors they run under my seat.

The first time Peter and I went through Atlanta airport we didn’t know what to expect. The agents did the swabs and NO SHIT they had to hold us and run a bunch of other tests because I tested positive for bomb residue ON.MY.FOOT.BRACE.

Because all the savvy terrorists are using orthotics these days. The FBI never expect the handicapped.

I take it all in stride. I don’t get irritated with them and we laugh through the process. The agents are generally very friendly.

Well. I guess they have to be, considering where they just stuck their hand.

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4 Responses to take me to dinner first

  1. Commonly I really don’t examine publish on information sites, however i want to point out that this particular write-up extremely compelled us to take a look with and take action! Your crafting flavour continues to be astonished me personally. Thanks, pretty great report.

  2. Julia Roberts February 20, 2013 at 6:04 PM #

    As a witness to your security shenanigans, it’s pretty cool to watch you get felt up.

  3. TechyDad February 20, 2013 at 10:05 AM #

    On our last trip, B and I went through the radiation machines. (You know, the ones that produce a nude image of you for the TSA folks to ogle… I mean look over in the back room.) After my wife got her scan, she was told there was an abnormality. She barely got outside of the machine when the female TSA agent began feeling her up… I mean, checking for abnormalities. It turned out to be her spanx. Yes, shaping undergarments are an abnormality that warrants “further attention.” (Just a friendly note to any female travelers. You might want to put the spanx in your carry on instead of wearing it through security.)

  4. Christina Gleason @ WELL, in THIS House February 19, 2013 at 11:21 PM #

    You should at least get a coupon for a free drink on your flight or at the airport bar.

    Christina Gleason @ WELL, in THIS House´s last post…What Tax Classification Should Bloggers Use on Their Tax Returns?

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