phantom hands

PHANTOM PAIN is defined many places on the internet.

Phantom pain sensations are described as perceptions that an individual experiences relating to a limb or an organ that is not physically part of the body — Wikipedia

I don’t suffer from PP, but I do have related issues. I’m not sure there’s a name for what I feel but I find that being nameless doesn’t make something less real.

I’m not an amputee. All my body parts are still attached.

That doesn’t mean my mind doesn’t play nasty tricks on me.

My right side is paralyzed, which means I have very little sensation or control of my body. It’s terrible to use my left hand to reach down and pick up my right hand and it just feels as if I’m handling meat. I know my arm should be in one place but I can’t make it obey my mind.

I have these sensation that my hand is moving. I can feel my fingers moving and uncurling.

I look down to watch the motion and my brain has sent the sensation of movement where there is none.

My mind played its dirty little trick on me again.

But sometimes I don’t look and close my eyes and relish the feeling of movement that’s gone from my life.

Even if I know its not real.

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