I’ve been lucky.  So very lucky I hardly know what to do with myself.

Most people won’t skate on the edge of death and come back to write blog posts about it.

Some will circle the drain, but not everyone has a family that will fight to keep you afloat.

Friends are great, having every person you ever met, plus some you didn’t plan on, is beyond every dream you ever had.  That’s just online.

I mean. Friends. FRIENDS. friends.

Do you take the time to feel lucky for the people you know?

I have been so stinkin’ lucky with this stroke.

The friends that are practically sisters.

The sister that’s now a best friend.

Buddies that have graduated to lifelines.

Casual acquaintances that became valued bonds.

Strangers DID become friends.

I may never have the chance to feel this way again.

Grateful.  Thankful.  Blessed.  Absolute Faith.

Befriended.

I visited my old therapists.  These were the ones I had last before I was able to go home.

Belle, Cinderella and Jasmine.

That’s what we called them and that’s what they’ll stay.

These three ladies taught me enough so that I could go home.  They gave me what I needed to be able to do what I’ve done today.

They taught me to balance and start to walk, they taught me to get dressed by myself, they gave me my first real meals…they made me believe that I could write again.

For weeks they worked me hard.  They trained me as much as they could.

I would never have met these people if I hadn’t been in the hospital.  Had a stroke. Been in a coma.  Struggled through rehab.

The worst parts of my life still brought the most wonderful people.

I woke up just a few months ago. It was unclear and confusing, I didn’t realize my body didn’t work yet.

But i loved the people coming to visit me.  Some, i don’t remember.  Some, I was too tired to see. Some, made me laugh. Some, memories faint but still memorable.

They were the voices that I woke up to. The faces that brought me smiles. They were the hands that wrapped around me.  The lips that made me hear “safe”.

Precious gifts were given in the forms of their arms.

They worked so hard to bring me back to life.

They never gave up on me, never stopped trying.

They are the reasons I’m in my living room today.

I believe in my heart Maddie and I would have fallen in love with each other…I know I was already head over heels, she just needed more time to get to know me better.

She would have laughed at all the funny antics her mommy and I pulled.

I most definitely would have been her favorite talk show host.

And you can see that her favorite hobby was Googling for incriminating photos of me.

But we never got that chance and I know my sadness today, on the day she should be celebrating her second birthday, is nothing compared to what her amazing family is experiencing.

All the many should-have-been’s and will-never-be’s are felt deeply as those who love Maddie celebrate each precious day she had…and mourn that there weren’t enough.

Never enough.

Heather and Mike and Drizzle, you are so loved.

Maddie, you are missed, treasured and never forgotten.

Happy birthday, beautiful girl.

On this special day for this special girl, if you’d like to celebrate Maddie’s birthday consider making a loving contribution to the Friends of Maddie Foundation, a charity in Maddie’s honor to aid NICU families.

All photos used and “tweaks” made were approved by MamaSpohr.